.:Fire*Moon*Star--Light:.
twinkly little thoughts that my mind generates. caution advised ^_^

.:Watashi wa..:.
* krayle=chrael=rachel
* 17
* 20th march *hint*
* loves Christ
* COGS [at Queensway]
* likes gothic morbidity
* quote: i knew once but i forgot
* fave vids: Hitomi no Jyuunin
C'est la Vie
Gackt on Utaban [split]
Miyavi playing guitar
Unheroic Battle!
Miyavi '04 Christmas Msg
Ayumi Hamasaki - Voyage [Live]
Ayumi Hamasaki - Trauma [Countdown '04-'05 Live]

iseethemoonandthemoonseesme


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QUOTES

" ' why can't anyone see my grandmother?!' "--shawn chua in character of SON in our devised play.

"macdonalds... makes everyone in the world go round. except me, of course."--isaac

"one day i will give you a trick question. i will make you analyse a character that is not psychologically motivated, and i will watch you flounder, and i will laugh."--mr lyon on our unseen examination component.

"i must drink coffee to be wise!"--mr lyon in response to exam essay question

"...splots."--mr lyon

"i really think i should write a book. my life is just so full of fun things that come........ and go........ and come again!!" --huimin

"this is the tangent graph. for this, you have to draw the asymptote. the curve will come near the asymptote, but never touch it. it just goes on and on. like God." --aunty karfoon

"I know when Jesus is coming back! He told me "Later"."--joelpang

¡§you can be the most sincere Christian, and somebody out there will not like your face.??reverend ng

¡§what goes in must come out.. and what comes out must go in again..??constance

¡§a naked woman is art, but a naked man is crazy.??anonymous

¡§satisfication.??lim min

¡§libertified.??me

"rachel.. friday is coming.." --vani on the first day[tues] of exams.

"everyone's entitled to a day off being smiley." --dawn

"grown and breen, burple and plue..."--wenxin

.:Monday, August 21, 2006:.
model of the day: MICHELLE.
 only one thing for you today... this picture. XD oh wait, and a video of her which she has been flaunting... XD





LATER--

i want to scream and tear my hair out. why does there have to be such a retarded thing as PW. sucking our brains out... all for what, i ask you? and i can't find a f**king article on education tourism. wonder how jishun and grace did theirs.

*shrieks:*

SHITSKY!!!!!

LATER--

and i'm back yet again! i realise i always take virtual refuge in my blog when i have work to do on the comp.

grah.

was skimming through the book of Ecclesiastes today on the way back on the bus before i dozed off... and i realise that this book has really really affected the way i live my life, kinda... ever since, actually even BEFORE revd ng seng chuan came to talk to YE about it.

coolio.

and then, in the book after that that everyone avoids reading and mentioning... i found this verse:

Daughters of Jerusalem, i charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field;
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
--Song of Songs 2:7

... OK.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:56 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, August 20, 2006:.
change of video uploads.
 i've decided that youtube is still the most reliable. i can't hear a thing for the photobucket videos. therefore i have changed them all.... namely the ones in the monday 14th post, and saturday 12th. ^_^ happy watching. ^_^ shall post more about yesterday later. if i'm not too tired. ^_^

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:01 a.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, August 19, 2006:.
there are always the consequences.
 my irresponsibility has caused the loss of a life.

doesn't matter what the circumstance. a life is a life. and that life was under my charge....

and now it's gone.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:08 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, August 17, 2006:.
*bares fangs*
 i'm in an incredibly bad mood now. maybe coz of all these people wasting my life. waited at the dental clinic for more than one freaking hour before they FINALLY got the last idiot out.

damn pissed off now. watch it, i bite.

you'll just get your bits of flesh stuck in my braces.

one of the reasons i'm pissed off is that the day before on tuesday we had this mask-making workshop session during TSD practical lesson. it lasted until six, and i took pictures and stuff. and due to some stupid imbecilic mistake i made, all of them are GONE. not even in the trash bin on my desktop, they're just GONE. i only have one pathetic video left.



another reason is that marcus was still on the computer when i got home, and took his own sweet time to get off the freaking thing. even now he's not giving me any peace, banging on the piano. being the mean person i am in these moods, it's taking this blogging to keep me busy and make sure that i don't turn around and scream at him not to play the piano when he can't.

good things? well i went to play pool at Bt Timah Plaza yesterday. but not without a disagreement with mom which spoilt my day. she brought the matter to dad, who said i was old enough to make my own decisions. fortunately there's SOMEONE who has sense in my family. at least sometimes.



things aren't getting any better. photobucket just screwed up on me.

oh great, youtube as well. what the freak is happening here?

well. about today... math lesson was funny. our teacher has some liver problem and our substitute teacher is quite funny. i quite like her. at least i listen in her classes. this is mich waiting for the humans people to clear the freaking room before we can go in for lesson.



she's going to kill me.

and econs teacher didn't come today. and won't be coming tomorrow either. gosh. the class CELEBRATED when moca called and found that out. crazy. woke me up. don't ask me what they're doing now lahz, i forgot liaoz. but basically the one sitting on the table is moca



after that was break lorz. so. 8 of the non-history people went to play bball. the only picture i have is super uninteresting, so i shall add one of the three videos that i have. because you can hear my voice in it.



just so, so, so, so tired. i want to whine.

but i have no one to whine to...

i. hurt. all. over.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:40 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, August 14, 2006:.
WE DON'T BELIEVE IN PARENTS! ALL OF YOU ARE TREES!!
 am in school, supposed to be doing Othello essay now, and i have delayed it for one hour by talking to mich + charlene about various school stuffs, and now i'm blogging. how cool is that? XD owell. in normal exam circumstances i also only have one hour to finish this section of the lit paper anyway. it's good training.

^_^ thank you jonathan and family for the borrowed guidebooks. ^_^

well... basically.. here are some pictures of the general happenings every sunday at YE.

the various tables.
and this is jonathan + ian, who were at my table. we're missing gerald.
jolly's face is really funny~ *laughs*

and on the way back:



and back at church... we wanted to study,...

martin... jon... obviously not josh. d'you think he'd look so happy otherwise?
ok... dinner. we ate at Zion Road.

random chicken.
paul i told you... the best one word used to describe you, would be 'DIABOLICAL'

also, we were playing paparazzi:



no, the main focus of this picture is NOT the tree... it's what's BEYOND the tree... oh darn you, here's a better picture:



so adorable!!



alright, that's about it for today folks. have to hurry my essay now. ^_^ i mean, of course there was more, but it can't be said here...

LATER--

would you believe me if i said i was sorry? that i really really really didn't mean to hit you that hard.

i think i shall not touch anyone for the next week or so.

please accept this apology.

ok anyway. today after Lit for first block, i went straight up to the library with mich. char later joined us. heh.. for myself and mich, we were chionging the Othello essay that was due at five today. ^_^ completed it btw. but it was super chiong. rushed and rushed. when she left for TSD individual consultation, though, charlene and i took the opportunity to leave her a little message on her empty word document. the words you see up there are just her particulars and copying of the question. to take up more space. and make you feel like you actually did sth.



she came back and when she opened the minimized window, she actually JUMPED. laugh like xiao. but STILL couldn't get any words out. verbal diarrhoea takes a bit of pushing before everything explodes out. so for a while [only a very short while] and we were putting our heads together to think. literally.



damn funny ideas we have.

but anyway guess who i met in the library when we ran up again after GP/KI to print her essay..

wenxin dear~

she's going to kill me.


ok so here are some nicer ones. meaning i'm inside. ^_^ i think my zipai really sucks.



my hair looks kinda dirty.

so after school, went orchard and bought comics from kino.. i would've bought alot more, like dvds and stuff, but fortunately i think i have cultivated a bit more thriftiness over the starving years and therefore decided to wait till another day when i felt richer. as it was, i am very pleased indeed with my splendid use of money. XD

and once we were done revisiting our familiar turf, we headed back down to school... me for TSD group consultation. these things are kinda irritating to plan for, being so late in the evening, with so many hours to wait in between, but during the sessions themselves, i really had alot of fun... XD though i really suck at impromptu. totally.

but niwaez before that the group of us [or at least the four who were around] met in the canteen [i was late, gomen]. and me and lestari were playing around with our ab strength... super funny!! XD





sorry nivi. know you were getting a bit pissed off. ^_^ thanks for being patient and still being our camera person!! XD

well niwaez that's about it for today.. happy reading...!! i have to go catch up on crane's blog and see what happened to him, how come he was just discharged from hospital...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:58 a.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, August 12, 2006:.
no i haven't died yet.
 have been rather lazy to blog about the past days' events.. heh.. coz there's so much, and i have no idea where to start! but perhaps i COULD put up a few pictures. ^_^ only my favourites.

OH AND GUESS WHAT GUYS. DNANGEL11 CHUANGYI VERSION IS OUT.

TUESDAY 080806 - CLASSOUTING

debating where to go: Marina Bay or Marina Square. XD
walking to the mrt... i know! wuliao right, this kind of picture also want to take. XD well. i like can!
taken on an escalator in Marina Square. loong's head is in the way, but almost everyone was changed into cvs liaoz... except for a few lahz. *points*
BOWLING!! hahahaa i pwned 111. but that game used up my day's games luck. i lost every single pool game later on. nvm. rematch when my luck has recharged.
at the arcade after bowling.... moca sure has alot of spectators watching him play his drum game~!
waiting around
sophia in my jacket. to cover the uniform.
they finally changed into CVs.
enli's super adorable can! met her the thursday morning when i was with aunty kf.
at Carl's Jr. there's a lot more to this part of the story but i don't know whether i should put it up... and i don't have pics anyway. must get them from loong soon.
not that we played this... but just thought it was interesting. Tamiya Cars. XD
i LOVE this picture. i don't know why. it just looks damn cool as we walk... somewhere... where arh?
evidence of yiwen bullying enli.
at Esplanade playing Truth or Dare~ and guess who we met...
WHOOTS. yupz. after listening to him sing in the morning, we also get to hear him sing in the evening. how cool is that! oh i'm talking about Mr Siva on the right for those of you who don't know btw, one of the PE teachers in sch.
yayy yingqing. XD she went away and then came back in time to play the game. there was a video of her dare, which was to fall on her knees and cry and beg weiren for forgiveness... for... something. *nods* she was superb. XD
and guess who came down to join us for old times' sake? ^_^ luv ya gurl.
after that we adjourned to Suntec.. which was crazy... and this is at the foodcourt with yiwen zoinking out coz he's so hungry. silly boy.

WHEW! we're thru one day! of course without the best pictures and videos lahz... i hate myself for forgetting to catch it all on cam. SIGH!

ok... at least two more days to go...

WEDNESDAY 090806 - NATIONAL DAY PARTY AT YEN ABODE


LOOK at the CROWD!! whootS~
the THRONG...! the MASS...!!
the MULTITUDES...!!!
and the STAIRCASE...!!!! eh. diao.
jon at the bottom.
this is jon.

UP ON THE ROOF!

mel my dearest godsis doing a pose~
the two kua sisters, shu en and li en. they're both such jokes...
and my darling godbrother shaunald once again. ^_^
i like this shot. i meant to take the door actually. but since they were standing there, eunice + jeanette + esther [at least i THINK it's them] i just took the picture. it looks like holy personages eh.
i LOVE this pic. starring JS aka Boy-Boy!

the things that happened that night... can laugh forever~

NATIONAL DAY WITH FAMILY


actually i spent the day lazing around. most of it, at least. but dad was feeling cheated i think, coz he took half day leave to be with us... and then we all just sit at home doing nothing. heh. so in the evening he brought us to Warren Golf Club to play pool, but all the tables were taken. so him and martin went swimming while my mom and i hung arnd, ordering food from the cafe. hahahaa what pigs.

for dinner, we went some other club place... hahahaa.. don't know what it's name is, but it is SO pretty. check this out:



cool eh?

and this is my family.. ^_^ didn't manage to get good shots of my parents individually, coz they were bothered by some baby vomit smell they said was around... i couldn't smell anything, my nose was blocked. XD

marcus.
martin.
my happy family. ^_^

there's sth a bit wrong with that picture, now i come to think about it... it doesn't have me inside. i guess that's the bad thing about being the camera-person all the time. you're not in the pictures you take, and when you take some of yourself, it's called 自拍，自恋。but sometimes i do think that my family would be much happier without me...

PLANETSHAKERS CONCERT 110806


whoots!

here's one or two videos... YES i was taking videos... have a problem with that? XD the sound quality kinda sucks.





later on when we went down to tiongbahru Burger King for supper... :

the girls sat a a diff table.
isolated couple. gerald's going to get pastor to pray for them. XD

HOW COME SO MANY GAY-ACTING NOWADAYS ARH!!! KOWAI NEH!!

ok continue.

oops. sorry sandra. looks like i caught you on cam after all. =D
sigh. stolen loot. XD i'm not supposed to say who did it, but seemingly a few others have as well... hilarious youths.. i wonder how many of these they have altogether! fast food stores look out. ur signs are disappearing.
sarah birdy teo. never an outing where there isn't an unglam shot of her. and look at this:



well well that's about it for now... enjoy the pics, i'm going back to sleep or sth. XD i take such a marvellously long time to do things like blogging nowadays... started at 11.24, and signing off now at 12.55. ^_^ chaoz peeps.



.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:24 a.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, August 10, 2006:.
Hyde - Shallow Sleep
 i have nothing here for y'all but a short bit of story... have a read and tell me what y'all think of it kiez? any mistakes or anything... do tell me. ^_^ cheerios.

oh yeah and i suppose i should add that i had super loads of fun hanging out with my classmates on tuesday, and also on the national day party at kenneth + shaun's place last night.... Truth Or Dare and Double Whacko <33!! ^_^ alright, enjoy.


------------------
Tyke

Leaning against the wall and smoking a cigarette, you were waiting for her to appear when suddenly, she did, and grabbed your hand, shouting, “Run!?Without fully understanding why, you obeyed, getting the vague idea that she was being chased. Weaving through the crowd with her hand held tightly in yours, you finally turned into a tiny, dim-lit alley, and wait for her pursuers to pass.

“Are they gone??she whispered at length.

You lifted your head to check. “Yeah?I think so…” Panting from the sprint, you leaned in to kiss her, the threat of danger that had just passed only making it taste all the sweeter.

“Hello to you too, my love.?Br>

“I guess I owe you an explanation,?she said as the two of you strolled down the streets hand in hand, eating ice cream—grape flavoured ice for her, and apple for you. Funny how insignificant details like that have stuck in your mind. “You bet,?you replied, even though it didn’t really matter. Nothing mattered whenever she was there with you.

“My father doesn’t approve of my being with you.?Br>
You weren’t worried. “So tell me what’s new.?Br>
“What’s new is that he’s gotten those thugs after me!?She halted and turned to face you. “They’re going to be at my tail every single time I leave the house alone! And—”

Out of the masses around, a lad ran smack into the both of you, bowling her almost off balance and knocking the ice cream out of her hand. You dropped yours immediately to steady her, then spun and grabbed the boy’s shirt. “Hey kid, watch it!?Br>
“Takashi, never mind about him, listen to me…” She clutched at your sleeve, and at the sound of your real name, you responded by giving her your full attention. Her distressed gaze searched your face and she said in a low voice, “My father has given these men instructions to keep me away from you, even if that means resorting to violence.?Br>
You felt a drop of water on your skin. “Tomo, baby?don’t worry. I can handle these guys. Don’t worry.?Br>
“It’s not so much that Tyke. I know you can protect yourself. It’s just that, sometimes I feel so torn…” She covered her face with her hands.

Immediately you gathered her into your arms, not giving a damn to the passers-by who turned to stare. “Shh?I know, baby, I know…” You kissed her hair, comforting her. “We’ll think of something. I’m never gonna give you up, but we’ll find some way out of this, you hear??The rain began to come down, getting heavier by the second.

She nodded, face buried in your shirt.

You bent to kiss her, then shouted above the noise of the rain, “Let’s get you some place dry.?Br>
However, as you sploshed your way back, she stopped abruptly. “What is it??you asked.

“Someone’s in trouble!?She started to run back the way you had just brought her, and you had no choice but to follow. Her kind-heartedness came really close to getting on your nerves sometimes. Close, but not quite. After all, that was one of the things you loved her for.

Correction: ‘love? Not ‘loved? Present tense. You would never stop loving her.

As you continued to race for the second time that day, you began to hear what she did: sounds of a fight, or rather, someone being beaten up. A voice kept crying out, screaming out hoarse anger, and a lot, a lot of pain.

“Tyke, stop them!?Tomoko screamed.

There was no need to. The group of assailants turned to see who had arrived, realised it was you, and all of them immediately gave you their full attention. Except one, who continued kicking at a figure sprawled on the ground. Silently, you gazed at him until he was hurriedly pulled away from the victim.

You asked them quietly, “What’s this??Br>
“Tyke-sama. We saw him steal these?you might recognise them.?The nearest held out two items to you. You looked, and were astonished to see what they were: Tomoko’s purse and your wallet.

“The little boy who bumped into us…” Tomo was stunned.

“Just teaching this street bastard not to mess with the big boys,?he grinned rather mirthlessly.

“A small child!?Br>
“Not so small—a brat who dared to pickpocket our leader with his dirty paws.?Br>
“Do something!?she beseeched you urgently.

“No more, my friend, no more,?you murmured. “But do me a favour: leave the boy to me.?Br>
The punk nodded and gestured to the rest to move off. As they left, he addressed you again, “There can never be an end, Tyke. You will always have our respect, always be our leader and brother in our hearts.?He smiled, touching your shoulder in passing. Then he saluted Tomoko, and was gone.

Just at that moment, you heard a noise, and spun to find twin orbs of raging silver glowing wildly up at you.
-------------------



i just saw you
beyond the course of time
a room that we once shared
but my memory's a haze
forgetting what was said

i gently held out my hand
and in that perfect moment
you disappeared
i lost you over again

in the shallow sleep i dreamt i was seeing you
just how i remembered
brimming with tenderness
and somewhere in the calm
a feeling that nothing had ever changed
your presence close beside me till i wake

i just saw you
a moment far too brief
before the daylight came
but my heart is beating fast
perhaps we'll meet again

in the shallow sleep i dreamt i was seeing you
just how i remembered
brimming with tenderness
and somewhere in the calm
a feeling that nothing had ever changed
your presence close beside me till i wake
i see you
until i wake
from shallow sleep

 an artist without a brush
can't paint upon the canvas
without you here
there is no colour
a colourless landscape

in the shallow sleep i dreamt i was seeing you
just how i remembered
brimming with tenderness
and somewhere in the calm
a feeling that nothing had ever changed
your presence close beside me till i wake
i see you
shallow sleep


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:57 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, August 7, 2006:.
in the school library once again.
 ok the entry below was denise lwin darling. XD super funny. don't even know what was happening and suddenly she was behind me pushing me away and typing nonsense on the keyboard. charlene was beside me and tried to press in some numbers on the num pad but.... denise deleted everything. so.

i'm here to blog about FOP! and yesterday. i took alot of pictures in church yesterday.

i just discovered that photobucket can upload videos. oh stupid stupid me. i better get ally's video off youtube.

well... so... first of all... FOP. we went on saturday, like there was a bus from church and all... super funnay~ but i would've had a better time, it hink, if i hadn't been sitting next to a stranger who kept eating into my personal space. GRAH. but well. all brothers and sisters of the royal family. ^_^



THE STADIUM! gosh. so many people lahz. and to think that last year there were so much more... coz last year was delirious? and planetshakers.... well... what's to be expected? i almost deleted this photo can. cause on my phone it's just a mess. but here you can see quite clearly... whoots i love my phone.

these are the pple from YE who were sitting a few rows above me... they're stoning just before it started.



and this:



i'm sure everyone was quite surprised to find him there. hahahaa... still don't know what he's doing there... i mean i know it's an advertisement, but why's it on the first page of the magazine for FOP? hahahaha... so weird... but it's funny lahz so well who's complaining?

he has less hair now though.

hahahaa now for yesterday... well there's nothing much to say really. ^_^ just put a photo gallery here lahz. you can go find yourselves and whatever. XD

tim looking neglected while huimin's reading her book~ she kept smilling at it. so funny~ see what i mean? cass and audrey. ^_^ random moments after YE. melissa and shu acting cute. even in service! while we were waiting for Holy Communion to begin.
me and shaunald my godbrother! whom i always call Mr Bean, coz he's equally a joke. ok lahz, i have to admit she really looks cute here. XD

shu + li ^_^. and of course, my beloved godbrother trying to do stunts on the chair. hahahahaa. i caught him on video!! have a look~~ i think you might have to tilt your head to the side though.



so after we went back upstairs... we were just sitting around waiting for the adults to leave so that we could go eat dinner together or whatever.



and then... they decided to play Blow-Wind-Blow. talk about reminiscence of childhood memories. but then again, when we were young it would be just our group of girls... this time, there are guys... ahhahahaa.. i didn't manage to catch alot of stuff. so... lemme choose the funniest video to put. XD



ok now let's see how these things turn out. XD enjoy!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:24 a.m.:.
...
.:Monday, August 7, 2006:.

hello rachel how are you.. you are ver89y preeeeeetiieeee haha.. okay bb be a good girl.. charlene is stupid girl! rarrr.. she keep trying to type vulgarities! 89*

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:16 a.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, August 5, 2006:.
yesterday...
 no pictures of the Ubus!!! i'm so sorry guys!!! i don't know what happened but when i went to look at it, my phone said the file was corrupted! i don't know why on earth. gosh. this is the first time it's happened. and it was such a beautiful picture.... ARGH!!!

well niwaez... i'm supposed to be planning worship for tomorrow like now... and there's so many things happening, i wanna blog about yesterday, and lunch's on the table.... grah. i hate being busy.

but niwaez. yesterday we had TSD group consultation at 4. we met at 3 to discuss some of our ideas, and brainstorm together so that we wouldn't have nothing to show when he came and asked us.

after about fifteen minutes, things became like this:



that's what happens when you try to think on friday afternoon while sitting on a couch.

so basically mrmatthewlyon came into the room to find it pitch dark, all the lights off, air-con on, and six of his students in various positions of slumber in a circle on the three couches and a big orange cushion thingy on the floor. he was using his handphone light to see who was there, and he kinda got a shock when he saw shawn, who was dressed in all black.

XDXD

replying tags time:

anon: hello!
 hello~ not sure who you are but yupz... hello~~

loong: what... why am i a turd... and lol? sum41! hooooo!
 aren't you? XD and your cd story still gets me laughing whenever i think about it.

Colin: you look like someone is going after your life!
 more like i was after someone's life.. [and got it]

crane: hrn.. bloody.. haa the half stoned look makes u seem like u were posessed and just killed sum1..
 XD yeahh... well! not my fault...

Poh Yuan: o.O And i thought i was weird. xD
 you know i always give you a run for that title.

acmw: The mandatory tag ;) And seconding ron's tag, it's tt little bit emptier ard now
 for a moment i wasn't too sure what you were talking about. XD but really!! XD so sweet! hope y'all had fun at the party last night!! ^_^

lYdIa: heya rachel dear..nice entry!haha..we really miss u in church..):
 hello my dear, glad you were able to view my blog in the end... i really really miss y'all too!! =(( >_< oh man.... fishbowl withdrawal symptoms! ='(

val: heyy^ nice entry about "testify to love" the song's really great! and the movie clip was touching too..=)
 heya val! i'm assuming this is valerie tan here arh... sry if i got it wrong. =) hope you enjoyed the vid!! hahaha.. i can always send it to you if you want, if you catch me on msn. ^_^ just that it will take very long only lahz. XD

...

and to the person who posted this:

MrGeoffreyBooth: Rachel. There is an assignment for Literature that is due this coming Monday. Please refer to the comment I have posted on Alison's blog. Her latest entry. Thank you.

....

DON'T BE SO RETARDED LAHZ.

show you guys the aforesaid comment posted on ally's blog:

What aspects of Hamtarro's character are reflected in the above passage? Refer closely to the passage and provide detailed explaination.

In this post, Hamtarro's recount of the events show that the day was eventful, meaningful. Hamtarro's narrative recount as told from a first person narrative provides the reader with a personal feeling.
Hamtarro is a fictitious hamster that stars in a cartoon show. Here, in one of the many adventures of Hamtarro, it(Hamtarro is probably male, but to be safe since it has gender issues, we shall term it 'it') is Hamtarro dressed as a famous character of Shakespeare's-Lavinia. Hamtarro's character can be seen in many instances upon closed inspection.
Hamtarro is a lazy hamster who did not prepare for it's role properly, as shown in how the 'costume [was] never worn before' and 'not even done' on the 'day itself'. It was a mix and match, done with last minute work, perhaps a reflection of Hamtarro's confusion in it's gender(as previously mentioned before). As seen also, Hamtarro's english is not coherent or grammatically correct either, showing yet another sign of laziness even in such a simplistic thing as speech. Hamtarro is also lackadaisical and somewhat crude, with profanities- like 'heck!' and the misuse of God's name in vain as represented by the abbreviation 'OMG!!'-involved in the entry of the day's adventure. It cannot be bothered of the impression it provides others because it is not 'like it[I] cares[s] what they think'. It too uses colloquial language like 'da bomb' to describe a person named 'michelle', whose name is not begun capital letters, maybe showing how it takes this person for granted, afterall, the name 'Charlene' in the line the follows is with a captial C. Yet, storks are, as a matter-of-fact, rather thin-like and hard to spot, thus hard to remember, so perhaps Hamtarro's behaviour is somewhat justified. Other friends of Hamtarro are also have their names beginning with small letters, like rachel 'the bat' and enli 'the little vulture'.
Hamtarro is also megalomaniacal, more egotistical than most people normally are. It calls itself 'cute' and states that make-up is a requisite to make it look 'gross and creepy', 'pale and pathetic'. The juxtapostion of 'cute' against 'gross and creepy' is clearly used to highlight it's 'cuteness', like how Beauty is all the more beautiful next to Beast. It also says that 'some pro' (presumably either the character 'Charlene' or its friend, the stork) is needed to apply the make up to make it look 'pale and pathetic'. The slight use of alliteration in 'pale and pathetic' together with the hard stesses in how it is pronounced, emphasises the ugliness- the ugliness that Hamtarro feels it is the complete opposite of.
Hamtarro, contrary to the popular belief that it is cute, is also rather bimbotic. It is so proud it can sew when it should be able to as it was brought up a female (that is the case, but the gender confusion still exists. there are rumours that Hamtarro might soon be renamed 'Bob'). Other examples cited that Hamtarro is bimbotic in nature is how it 'totally screamed la!!! arh!!!! screamed for someone to get the tomato juice'.
Finally, Hamtarro is also demandind and commanding in nature. The previous quote is an example for Hamtarro 'totally screamed la!!! arh!!!! screamed for someone to get the tomato juice', reflecting the abuse of authority it had in that situation, just because it represented the class, the very class described in 'I LOVE MY CLASS!!'. Hamtarro, is also demanding and commanding because of how the entry ends with 'REMEMBER TO GO TO RACHEL'S BLOG!! hahahhaa!'. The use of 'hahahhaa!' here is to try and convince the readers that it is less commanding but do not be in anyway fooled.
Those are the aspects of Hamtarro's character as reflected by the passage when closely read.

7:59 PM

...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 12:52 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, August 2, 2006:.
IT'S A BLOODY HAPPY DAY!
 my mom screamed when she looked at me carefully after i came home today.



have some close-ups:



hahaha alright that was a whole load of 自恋. i kinda liked the look of blood all over... yeah.. i went around for a few hours like that, including performing for this American guest band that came to our school for RR... tell you more about it later on in the entry... super funny!



but niwaez... i think if she saw ally it would be worse right! tell you, her performance during the modelling thing as Lavinia from Titus Andronicus was WONDERFUL. she looked even better than the japanese advertisement we saw in UK. SO good. she went there and collapsed on the walk. the audience was already quite shocked because of the bloodiness on her white dress costume, and when she just crawled, they all stunned for a moment and then applauded wildly. it was amazing. i know i was, for sure! because she never did that during the rehearsals, at all. so i think everyone got a shock. btw in the last picture above, she's dancing. hahaha. i have such a hard time switching from picture camera to video camera mode. sigh. but niwaez, the final result for your viewing:



she seems really happy though!



oh yeah i realised i still haven't exactly told y'all what happened. basically we were rushing around like a minute before the actual fashion show, and i was holding the uncapped bottle of fake blood paint and kinda rushing after ally to pour on her stumps-of-hands and dirty her pretty makeshift white dress with. then, some j2 girl just banged into me from behind, like she was walking past me. lahz. so there was this fountain of red stuff, according to genevieve, and i was like *blink* ok, this stupid blind girl just got paint splattered all over my uniform, face and hands. i looked like i murdered someone lahz. the hands were really scary.. didn't manage to catch it on camera coz i'd washed my hands already, when i came back home.

but that girl kenaed two big splots on her sleeve. waha.

well after that, me + marcus oh + jishun + weiren rushed upstairs to the AVT where RR was supposed to meet. there was this guest American band visiting, called Carpenter's Tools. really funky people.. hahaha.. gave us very positive and encouraging remarks even though... yeah... i don't know even though what. oops. XD but yeah, one thing, we did our best lahz. ^_^ well done everyone, esp jishun! ^_^ he was shaking like a leaf, poor boy.

so, some advertisement for Carpenter's Tools:

GARAGE SHOWS [6pm]
 5, 11, 12, 18 August at Emmanuel House
[Free shuttle service from Aljunied Mrt at 5.30]

FINALE CONCERT!
19 August, Saturday
4pm @ DBS Auditorium.


yeah. that's about it for advertisements. these people were really really fun and friendly... hope you'll all go down and support them yeah... =))

what else? i don't know. SO much happened to me today... oh yeah so when the band came over, all our individual bands within RR had to perform one song for them to see and comment on... hahahaa.. the band i was in went first... XD well wait, what was my point again? oh yeah! so i went up with all that blood-spattered.... thingy... actually when i first went into the room everyone kinda stared at me liaoz. so was like.. oops... i don't know what you're looking at! and slipped into a chair. heh. but well. have to perform what. and singing. so what-to-do. ^^ it was quite hilarious coz i had this line that goes:

dancing in my wooden shoes in a wedding gown...


then i looked down at my bloody uniform. XD

aww fine. not funny. =( >_<

afterwards, when they were being taken around the school for a tour, went back down to the food booth in the concourse... went for this fortune-telling thing that bella + shawn + janessa were playing at... it was super funny.. i went in with genevieve and they kept telling her that her future was to be fat and stupid and she was screaming to get out because she didn't want to be fat and it was rather stuffy in the tent. hahahahahahah. i laughed like xiao. but actually i laughed alot more when they caught marcus's girlfriend elizabeth and when one of the RP seniors were there as well... they were like shaking the tent and making up all sorts of fortune-teller nonsense on the spot. improvisation full marks, i'd give these people.

pity MRlyon was at home. i called him after ally was just done with her modelling and then he said he'd already left school. XD well well. he'll just have to be content with photos i guess. MRngchoonping loved it. XD i loved her performance too! WELL DONE ALLY!!!

here are some more random photos taken today lahz. =) enjoy!

aaron our carrier man. ^_^
mich's econs homework on which i accidentally toppled the entire content of my waterbottle on. >_< i am eternally sorry, mich!!! >_< >_< >_<
uncle weiren squatting on a step and stirring the chocolate while it's trying to melt. this was for the fondue fountain. XD
feet! mine mich's and ally's. i think ally got a little put off by me at this point coz i kept asking her to come and stand there when her show was about to start soon and i just couldn't get the picture right. sorry! ^_^

Mr Bean is on TV now. XD hilarious. alrighT! this is the end of my lit day entry!!!! SCRAM!!



.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:14 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, July 31, 2006:.
this was supposed to be yesterday's post but owell.

yesterday was CAP. i really didn't wanna go, but went anyway. giving out packets of rice to the people living in the blocks nearby. i paired up with martin and we took turns to talk. SIGH. somehow he always got the english speaking ones, and i always kena-ed the chinese speaking ones. SHIT lahz. blunder blunder blunder. my mom said God knew i took higher chinese. what is that supposed to mean!

but well.. just before we actually began, we were waiting at the void decks for the van to come with the rice. so was just loitering around when i met fiona piggy-backing vanessa. it was quite a cool picture.... don't know whether you can see it.



it's quite sweet.

what else.

martin brought along his olden-day beyblade again.. those tops that need the string to be wrapped around it those kind.

disastrous.

all the uncles were trying to get it spinning... and i couldn't stand it. reaching out for it with greedy hands and this almost insane gleam in their eyes, trying to keep their voice calm: "Come, come, let me try." Anticipation and imaginings of how they would wow their kids with their ancient prowess and technique. and then they'd try, and fail, after not having touched it for so many years... they've forgotten how. and then comes the shrill laughter, to hide their disappointment, the childhood memories that this toy conjured up in their minds already starting to fade as they come back to the present reality. i looked away, embarrassed for their sake, but they merely turn within themselves, into a group from which low chuckles float to me as they talk about things they are more used to now, like money, not realising that every time they reject this small symbol, a little more of the child in them perishes.

it's so sad. i don't want to become like that in the future... nothing left in me but money and memories.

and another thing that's sad. that nobody now does any justice at all to the song Testify to Love. Avalon has ruined the Hundred and Fifty-First Psalm.

it's originally from the show Touched By An Angel... if any of you watched it... i think it's still on-going, at certain times, but it's different from the simple stories that they used to have before. i shall load the clip up once i get home today. which will not be for some time, i'm afraid.

it's about this boy and his mother. when he was born, she started composing this song that she titled the Hundred and Fifty-First psalm... because we all know that the Bible only has 150 psalms. it was supposed to be a song of praise, and thanksgiving. but when she found out that the boy actually had this illness, which i have forgotten what it was, she just couldn't continue composing that song. Because how could she give thanks for something that God was going to take away from her anyway?

what she didn't know was that her son [Petey] was going to die soon... So these three angels, Monica and Tess and Andrew [who is the Angel of Death] came to this broken family, to make sure that Petey's wishlist is completed. on it he had things like letting his friend [the little girl you'll see in the vid] meet Celine Dion; getting someone to take care of his pet iguana; and then, "Help mom to finish the song" and "Go to Heaven".

i can't quite remember every single detail, but in my computer i have these short clips of the important parts [and the nice songs]. and... it's just heartwrenching.

see for yourself what i mean...



.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:38 a.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, July 27, 2006:.
twins
 i think i hurt my finger during captain's ball. YES i took PE today. amazing? i should think so. don't ask me when you'll be next seeing me running around like a madwoman, coz i don't know.

anyway everyone. this is my twin.



yupz. heh. well well. today was super funny, i just remember always laughing and laughing until my cheeks hurt, but... well...

got a bit irritated on the bus ride back because all these ny girls arh. when they sat beside me, they couldn't just SIT, they had to PLOP down. so SBS bus seats being what they are, every time these girls flung themselves on i BOUNCED. sheesh.

it's not that i have sth against the sch. i don't. but it was really ny girls. two of them some more, one after the other.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:30 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, July 24, 2006:.
Superman--wait, boy, to the rescue.
 chunny's busyness and inability to finish up her stories and whatever stuff she owes me is just about driving me up the wall....

Íkrayle*--LOVELESS says:
anything for me?
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
erpz
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
a hug?
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
a kiss?
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
all my love?
Íkrayle*--LOVELESS says:
something more tangible please
Íkrayle*--LOVELESS says:
like a story
Íkrayle*--LOVELESS says:
or whatever of a story that you have
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
erpz
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
once upon a time
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
in a land far far away
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
there lived a frog
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
one day,
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
the frog got indigestion from ingesting a fly poisoned byacid rain.
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
the frog died
Supreme Dictator/Cloud/Supes/Strawberry Jam/Mouffin = 73hwushusecretsociety:GG [http://pika-hikari.diaryland.com] says:
no one noticed.
Íkrayle*--LOVELESS says:
HAHAHAAA
-------------------

it's quite an amusing thought when you hear about this little boy who threw away a Sum41 cd because it said somewhere on the back: produced by Lucifer.

it's even more amusing, when this little boy, of whom there's a picture of posing enthusiastically for the camera while wearing superman clothes, BROKE that cd because he was afraid someone else would pick it up.

what else is there to say. i forgot. hrmz.

was running around just before GP lesson looking for my bag. XD so funny. i think i scared some guy half to death when i stamped to a halt from a sprint at the stairdoor. he was like clutching his chest and gripping the side of the frame. im sorry to say i actually laughed. like out loud, when he did that. hahahaa. i hope i didn't give him a heart attack, or that at least if he did and stopped breathing, his guy companions were brother enough to give him CPR.

ooh lalaa.

im a bit high now, not making sense i think. hahaha. i shoulg go now!

and xiang i know you want Keary!!! hahahaa... initiate a convo with me when you next see me online and i'll give you a piece that i think you'll like.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:28 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, July 23, 2006:.
things we do after YE.
lazing around and clearing the floor for a game of pepsi-cola.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:59 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, July 21, 2006:.
HAPPY RACIAL HARMONY DAY!!
 hahahahaa.. it's a happy day! and i thank God for the weather! though alrite, it WAS a little too hot. ^^

youtube has finally decided not to reject me! hahaaha.. so i am gracing this entry with a video!



here's a picture of my darling dragon friend shawn looking absolutely adorable in his authentic scottish kilt.



oh yeah.. and i'm going to try to add another video of wenloong acting absolutely retarded from yesterday here... see whether the template screws up... if it does, please do tag and tell me.



wah, laugh until my teeth hurt.... no wait. that's just the braces being tightened last night...

LATER--

i'm like really bored so i just came back to bother everyone with two more pictures of mine. hahaha. tidied my room up a bit this afternoon.. which just means moving around some stuff into different places which will make cleaning the room harder for the maid, and throwing away alot of stuff that i'll probably be looking for a few weeks down.

this is my room now! hahahaa. happily taken when i was reclining on my bed awhile ago.

this here however is my comics shelf. i just moved the whole bunch there today, and decided to call your attention to it because i think there's a few hundred in there. of course, nothing compared to candeh dear's collection....

aghast at my spending? yeah, i know.

well! marcus has been very kind in letting me borrow some minutes off his computer time when he's frantically trying to prepare some powerpoint with a panda on it.... yupz! and check out my new green braces! ^^

Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears, put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light
--chorus of Sophomore Slump by Fall Out Boy


LATER--

here i am back again. i know, i know, i shouldn't be bothering y'all with all my lousy posts. but this time, i wanna post two stories. ^^ actually maybe only one, but i kinda want it in order, and my favourite one is the second one.... hrmz... never mind i shall just post the second one. and hope you all understand it. XD or should i post the first.... *ponder* eeney meeney miney mo. what's that again, Irish?

-------------------



120505
Commonwealth Essay Final Draft:
The Experiment


December 30th, 3570
She steeled herself for the stares that would greet her once she entered. Hand on the doorknob, she hesitated. But she couldn’t possible stand here forever.

Here we go, she thought, setting her shoulders.

The family of five seated there rose when she entered. An awkward silence, then the lady stepped forward.

“Hello Risa. I’m Chennette.” Her eyes and smile were kind. Putting an arm around her, Chennette introduced her family.

Serene was seventeen and pretty, her gaze cool. She hoped that it would pass or that she was just like that.

She would be attending the same school as fifteen-year-old Adrien. Mischievous as all boys were, she left him looking bewildered when instead of screaming, she closed her fingers over the spider he held. She would release it later.

Genevieve, called Gen, was eight and shy, hiding behind her father, Kal. “She’ll get used to you,” he smiled. Chennette nodded.

This might not be too bad after all. Kal and Chennette seemed nice enough, with genuinely kind smiles. Calling them family might not be too bad…

Something tugged her sleeve. “Excuse me, why are your eyes that colour?” Gen asked.

She looked up to catch a flash of fear in Chennette’s face.

“Don’t be rude, Gen,” Kal patted her head.

“Come dear, I’ll show you your room. We’re so glad to have you.” Chennette had recovered and was all smiles again.

This mightn’t be too bad…
She could feel Serene’s cool stare on her back as she went out.

Risa’s journal
August 19th, 3571
Everything’s the same, if not worse. Adrien’s always playing pranks on me, and Genevieve is still afraid. Serene’s coolness has become ice-cold hostility ever since I walked into her room one day and caught her making out.

I had hoped so much that it would work out, that these people would accept me even though I had a strange background. I know they had heard things, but I haven’t told them exactly what had happened yet. It’s too terrifying. Every night I have nightmares of needles, strange liquids being injected into me, never being able to get out, and pain.

But one day, I got out. They had made me strong, stronger than I should be. I forced my way out of that place, to the green grass and blue sky outside, and ran and ran and kept running until I was far, far away.

Now, a year has passed, and I wonder which life was better, which experiment it’s easier to live as.

One good thing has happened though. A guy called Damian moved in next door two months ago. He’s good-looking but what matters is, he doesn’t care about my past, or that my eyes are silver.

He’s the only one.
August 27th, 3571
“…unknown background… never know, might burn the house down maybe…”

“… no cause to distrust her—“

“Yet! When… too late. Where’s she from?”

“…found in the woods somewhere… a test subject… science experiment…”

“…never know what… harmful chemicals or something! And then?”

“I—“

Curled up on the porch, she heard everything. So it’s like that, is it?

“Risa?”

Damian was tall, towering over her, making her feel even smaller. She looked down. “You heard?”

Another cry of exasperation reached them: “I’m telling you, get rid of her before anything happens!”

She knew his gaze was on her, but she didn’t meet it. Softly, he said, “So it’s like that, is it…” She nodded. Word for word, he understood her thoughts. It was amazing, how even with nine years between them, they thought so alike.

Suddenly he took her hand, pulling her up. “C’mon, I’ll show you something.”

“But—“

“You’re with an adult.” He laughed. “And I’m a guy, so it’s alright.”

Something wasn’t quite right about that, but she followed him anyway. He brought her to the beach and the crashing of waves and the wind soothed her.

She found him sitting on the breakwater. Climbing up, she slipped, and was surprised when he caught her. Seating herself beside him, she looked up at the sky.

It was clear, and she could see, like bits of glitter, stars, shimmering on the dark brocade of silken sky.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? I come here often.” He smiled at her, but before she could reply, he leaped to his feet, yelling, “A shooting star! Make a wish Risa! Hurry, before it passes!”

“Oh Damian…”

“C’mon c’mon, close your eyes!”

She laughed. Twenty-six and still so childish… she shut her eyes. When she opened them she saw Damian looking at her strangely.

“What did you wish for?” he asked.

Blushing, she looked away. “A happy ending to something in my life, for once.” She whispered. “And you?”

He didn’t reply, but reached out a hand, leaned toward her, and kissed her under the starlight.

Risa’s journal
September 6th, 3571
All I remember is that I went into Serene’s room to get something, that was all. And when I turned about he was blocking the door, Serene’s boyfriend. I tried to push past, but he said I was cold and started touching. I couldn’t struggle, he was too strong. It hurt where he gripped my wrists.

“Shaun!”

Serene was standing in the doorway, eyes smouldering.

“Sorry, dear,” Shaun said, but she simply brushed past him to stand before me. And then everything went black, and there were stars indoors. I felt my right cheek stinging, and I realized she’d slapped me.

“How dare you!” she screamed, and started hitting, scratching, clawing, any part of me she could contact. I found myself thinking, strangely, that she was a left-hander.

Then Shaun caught her hands, yelling, and she turned on him instead. That’s when I ran out.

This experiment has failed. My hypothesis has been proven wrong. It’s time to give up.

 September 6th, 3571
“I’m afraid I haven’t seen her. Sorry. Maybe you should try the road. Good luck.” Damian shut the door, watched Kal run off, then said, “You can come out now.”

She scrambled out from behind the couch. “I need to get away. I need to get away.” She spun, confused and hysterical. “I need—“

Damian caught her, holding her until she quieted. “Hush. It’s ok. C’mon. I have somewhere we can go.”

“We?”

“You think I’m gonna let you go running around alone at night?”

Risa’s journal
September 9th, 3571
We’ve been traveling for three days now, at first by train, and then by foot. I don’t know where we are, Damian handles it. He should know the way to his spare house the best. It seemed rather deep in the woods, but Damian says he enjoys his privacy.

Yesterday, before we started off, he handed me a gun. “Careful, it’s loaded. So you can defend yourself.”

Defend against what? I wondered but didn’t ask, and took it anyway.

 September 10th, 3571
It was almost nightfall. She was ahead of Damian, concentrating on not tripping on the uneven ground.

“Here we are.” His voice came from behind her.

She looked, and then her heart was in her mouth, a wave of terror crashing over her. It couldn’t be. That the building in which she had been held prisoner all those years, that she thought only appeared in her nightmares, was right here.

This was all a set-up. Crying out, she spun, reaching for the gun. But Damian was too fast, and before she had even finished turning, he struck her with something hard.

Vision full of the autumn leaves that littered the ground, she clung on to consciousness, but barely, and was unable to move. Her eyes seemed to ask Why? as Damian crouched beside her, loading a contraption.

“You didn’t think we’d let such a successful result escape, did you?” he sighed. “I know you’re tired with all this traveling. Thank you for being so cooperative.”

She heard the shot, felt the dart, and saw the darkness bloom.

What happened to Damian?

His smile was cold as he said, “Good-night darling,” and mockingly blew her a kiss.

What happened to her happy ending?

Risa’s journal
October 1st, 3571
So I’m back here. Again. A prisoner. Again.

I can’t believe, still, that Damian is in charge of this operation, the one calling the shots. I can’t believe he’s the same person I trusted. In my mind, Damian is the caring guy-next-door. This cold liar isn’t Damian, but Demon. I don’t have the strength to fight demons anymore. Someone else will.

His name is Guy. He will fight these demons. He’s mine and Damian’s since the night in the woods. They will let him live because he will have silver eyes, like me, and they will wonder. And he’ll have a fun, always loaded, to defend himself, a gun that his father gave me, the only thing he gave that was real and remained real after the demons came.

Because those are the only things that I have left to give—silver eyes, this fun, and maybe this story about the world outside, to motivate him. I don’t even know if results of science experiments have a right to give anything away.

[1495 words]
--------------------

Disclaimer: this was written last year, and any resemblance in terms of names and behaviour to real persons are totally coincidental. with the exception of the stupid little small minor character shaun. please do not insult me with your presence any more you scumbag. shaun yen from YE, i'm not talking about you, no worries.

all comments welcome.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 01:38 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, July 20, 2006:.
interesting PE lessons we have.
 today, during PE, we learnt how to give each other massages. what was it the teacher said again? first was effleux <--however that's spelt! and then three other stuff which i have forgotten. yeah. but it was hilarious after she told us to start trying out on our friends. XD

it's SUCH a wonderful thing to have your camera and video phone around with you at all times. however, i only have videos for that... not sure if i have the patience to fiddle with youtube just yet, but yeah... here's some pictures of AFTER the massueses-to-be decided to stop practicing:

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting

YEAH, indeed, they were frenchbraiding alison's hair... XD well she does have lovely long straight tresses.

the lesson we had before PE was economics tutorial. now, owing to our unfortunate circumstance, we got a teacher who is totally unable to control us. so it always ends in some person or other falling asleep, aaron having a great time just laughing at anything and everything, and the teacher quarrelling with one of the guys or another, including her darling rep. well. wen loong loves this pic... he was sitting cross-legged on the tables behind me and he decided to try on mich's specs.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

HAHAHA. alright, so my camera resolution isn't that wunnerfoo but... wth! at least you can kinda see it...

oh and btw, my blog stuff seems to be screwing up abit so i think i'll prob be blogging less... coz i'm losing my past entries... yupz. hopefully chunny-chan comes up with a new template for me soon...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:50 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, July 19, 2006:.
GOOD NEWS
 DEAR FRIEND GERALD TAN PASSED HIS DRIVING TEST!!!! WHOOOOOOOHOOOOO!!! hahahahaa... so happy for you brother! ^^ i think half the bus turned to stare at me when i congratulated you over the phone. hahaha..

niwaez. it's been a long day in school... a long day of doing nothing... so i'm not going to complain too much. gave me time to read, even though there weren't many comfortable places to do that, since the library was closed for the opening ceremony... how stupid is that? like totally...

niwaez... memories.... alot of memories came back to me when i was sitting on the bus trying to over come hunger-nausea. my mother said that in that aspect i'm my father's daughter. i think i'm my father's daughter in many aspects such as temper but yeah that's not my main point for this paragraph is it? yupz.... like almost started crying during TSD class when he was talking about all that mistakes in our past that we weren't able to correct, it was too late... especially the thing about visualising the person walking away from you. now that wouldn't do at all to start bawling in the middle of lesson, especially with an evil teacher like matthewlyon, it would be very bad indeed.

how evil, you ask? well... here's an example.

coz the class today was mostly for going through the exam essay questions... specifically the unseen interpretation thingy. there were two questions to that section. the greek section he was saving for tomorrow. and then dragon friend shawn asked a question, which i have forgotten [my nmemory is terrible], but this is what my teacher replied to it:

"yes... one day i will give you a trick question. i will ask you to interpret a character who is not psychologically motivated
and i will watch you flounder
and i will laugh." *gives us a sweet smile*

the people you meet in life.

also, i decided to try to make my blog a bit more interesting for everyone's ... ermz... happiness. yeah. so. here, below, is a picture of the floor of the lift lobby outside my house.



and this is a small pic of some hdb nearby that had this weird glow of light around and i just felt like using my handphone camera.

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and here's elisa my twin looking blur as i caught her on photo. she was accompanying me for one or two hours during my after-school wait. aww.

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and here are two pictures that i couped from her phone... one's of me when i was at her house dressing up, and the other along orchard road, in fact, just outside paragon where the huge christmas tree was, after prom, terrorizing civilians with our otherworldly looks.

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and last of all, is something that i'm sure EVERYONE agrees with...

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.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:34 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, July 18, 2006:.
Seizure strikes back!
 YEAH YEAH YEAHH!! return of the Keary!! whooohooo... hahahaha... 复活了...

plus, shinshi doumei cross4 is out in chuangyi liaoz!! maguri's on the cover!!! whoots!~!

super happy now. but the bus ride back home was terrible. firstly, it was already super super super hot, then this indian woman had to sit with me and put her hot packet food so that it was sandwiched between the both of us and it was freaking hot can. then when i got up to get off the bus, already feeling super giddy from being hungry and it being so stuffy and warm in the bus, then this idiot woman asked me to excuse twice, and the second time i was like, "ya, i'm going [off]". super stupid and kiasu lehz these people. still dare to tap me. i should've taught her to tap me. no time lahz. and dizzy. and trying to keep my balance. maybe i should've puked on her. stupid.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 03:08 p.m.:.
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.:Monday, July 17, 2006:.
steps.
 OMG MICH CUT HER HAIR!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SO CUTE SHE REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE SNOW-WHITE NOW.WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA.... so retro look. she should wear those huge coloured hoop earrings...

LATER--

the more i think about it, the more amused i am.

yesterday grace leong was asked about her school, like how it was going and everything.. and then it led in the general direction of school rivalry and stuff like that.. she said there was some anti-raffles club or sth. i don't know.

now i understand what it means when adults always talked to me about unforgiveness and holding grudges. it's the same thing. like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. i mean, it certainly doesn't affect us. unless we're stupid enough to find ourselves caught alone and defenseless in a mob of them, then yeah, i guess it does..

however it seems that in rafflesian culture, there is no rabid fanaticism about our "second home", but rather a cool and objective way of looking at things. for me, at least. i hesitate to admit my school, always embarrassed by the exclaimed response that is almost always to be expected: "WAHH, so smart arhhh!!"

*cringe cringe*

furthermore, it hurts me when childhood friends talk about their own schools with pride bordering on arrogance, and go yet a step further to say, "i hate rafflesians!"

what am i, chopped liver?

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:26 a.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, July 15, 2006:.
storm in a fishbowl.
 where is the daylight?
where is the rain?
volcanic molehills hit me again
won't you save me? [hey hey hey]
won't you save me? [hey hey hey]
storm in a fishbowl... swept me away.

 what else can i say? it went perfectly.

and now i'm just wishing that it didn't have to end, just as i was beginning to feel comfortable among these people, just as i was beginning to actually enjoy myself.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:13 a.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, July 13, 2006:.
warped logic.
 animals and children tell the truth. they never lie.

and you must have faith like a child before you can get into the kingdom of Heaven.

so i'm going back.

back to my first birthday. i don't need any of your birthday candles. i'm going back.

hahahaa bullshit.

today was a good day. ^_^ yayy. happyhappy love the world. though i'm like really tired now from practice in which we didn't do much but sit and lie around. hopefully tomorrow things go better. and the mics and lights don't conk out. or anything.

actually it was super funny coz the tech pple were taking forever to do their stuff so us actors were just really really bored. and when weird pple like us get bored, REALLY weird things happen. "FISHBOWL FIGHTERS 2006" is now in existence. plus there was this really crazy moment where we were all stoning on the set... so suddenly i went, "i know! let's do the chicken dance! nananananananah!"

the coolest part was, everyone joined in wholeheartedly and immediately.

i think if i did that in sch everyone would just be staring at me. hostilely.

talking abt sch and generalisations of rafflesians... mich just proved herself to be one. hahahaa... yiwen wrote a poem abt her being a stork and all his nonsensical rumours and what not and passed it to her to peruse during h1 math class.

and what, may i ask you to guess, did our dear missy do?

she started marking it.

"dramatic pause? breaks rhythm" "bad attempt at enjambment [run-on line]" then she started tapping her leg and i knew she was checking for the iambic pentameter.

when other pple would've been screaming at, attacking, and chasing that guy around and out the room.

surrounded by weird pple.

talking abt schs, back to the prac again. hahahaa. jumping here and there. but i was quite amused coz like nearly everyone turned up in their various sch uniforms. quite amusing! that i wasn't beaten up. perhaps if i was a guy i might've been. hahahaa nahh they're nice pple. ^_^

what else. hahahaa... i really don't know! but i am quite happy today... let's just hope it lasts.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:00 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, July 12, 2006:.
HUNGRY.
 SARAH: ...Look at how hungry we are. Feeding food into invisible mouths all day. Remembering the past. Hurting. Or is it just my hell, since you've stopped hurting so long ago? ...

i just realised how much i really am that character. pity i was too lousy to bring it out more.

i just realised that Corrine May songs speak to me. i understand them, with my heart.

i just realised, one more time, that God is in control of my entire miserable life and nothing happens by accident. what i can't understand is why things like this happen to me everytime, and what i'm supposed to learn so that He will stop sending along such periods of misery my way.

i just realised that i can be so unreasonable and bitchy and stubborn at times.

i just realised that fairy cube 2 of chuangyi is out.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:17 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, July 11, 2006:.
of death, shit, and asshole governors.
 can't take it anymore. if you were crying with whatever you had just now, you would be killing yourself if you were in my current situation. you don't have to rush down around school trying to practice and memorise lines which we haven't even managed to get the room for ONE DAY for, AT ALL, and then straight after that rush down to church, to act in a role that was dumped on you and that you totally hate. after that, you don't have to make your way back home all alone, with your shoulder devile whispering malice into your ear about your parents really not being able to bring themselves to care about your condition.

furthermore, you will always, always, always have friends who are willing to pamper you and listen to you whine about you, you, you and yourself, to your heart's content, and not bat an eyelash, and they'll be following you all about your day's activities ANYWAY. you have no idea what the feeling of loneliness, or of being ignored, or of having to try so hard to fit in where you don't belong, not succeeding no matter what you do... so don't you come and talk to me about being tired.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:26 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, July 10, 2006:.
don't scare me lehz.
 you know it's quite terrifying to walk through a totally EMPTY park at 11pm. and i mean EMPTY. not a soul. and then the thing is, when i came back, the gate was open.

rang the doorbell.

no answer.

rang the doorbell again.

still no answer.

tried the door and IT OPENED.

all was dark inside. all the bedroom doors closed.

do you have any idea how freaky it is to have to open those doors one by one to check if your family is alright?

freak me out.

it was an alright day today. the musical might not be so bad after all.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:20 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, July 9, 2006:.
it's sad, so sad--it's a sad sad situation. and it's getting more and more absurd.
 to joel pang: because my life is being destroyed, and i only have myself to blame. i know you guys had loads of fun over there, and trust me, i would've gone if i could... but i couldn't. and i only have myself to blame. and yes i heard about derrick dislocating his arm and also that it was all my brother's fault. i'm still quite well informed.

ok, just a short one coz i have to go sleep. the neos are coming over at three to watch the match... i still haven't quite decided whether i want to get up or not. hrmz. should i? probably will because friends are coming over. and they'll be shouting and shouting.

today has been a really busy day.. like wake up in the morning and it's nonstop movement till now. rushed down the mt carmel, and watched elisa my darling twin get confirmed... and then before i could really see her face to face and congratulate her, there came a call hurrying me to church to try out makeup for fishbowl. so i rushed down [i discovered a bus straight from ur church to mine, twin! though it kinda goes round-about] and what do i find? that they haven't gotten the makeup to put on me. so just kinda sat around for this whole long wasted time till about 1230, when worship practice was like at 1. thanks arh. well i think they had fun.

it's not they're not nice people. under any other circumstances, i'd be glad to hang with them. but currently, with all the pressure and work slamming in on me from all sides, this really just isn't the time.

shit lahz. just found out got practice in school from 8-10. what the hell am i going to say to the fishbowl people.

ok just let me finish my sad story of the day first. sigh. you should stop reading now, btw, if you're sick of hearing me grumble.

so finally got the old-woman makeup layers off my face and rushed down to worship prac. main service. it was alright lahz, with all the youth and such present... fortunately i didn't like really screw up badly at any point of time, and tim took two of the songs lahz so.... yupz. i haven't been playing for very long.

sermon was alright... considering i didn't really sit through the one at carmel. and the speaker was quite funny lahz. though sometimes he spoke too fast for me to catch.

alright. so after that. what happened. just kept everything and shifted everything back and then rushed upstairs for the fishbowl prayer meeting.

THAT WAS THE PART I WAS SUPER PISSED OFF ABOUT.

hello. remembering what paul was saying last week when they came over to our house to play badminton: another week of loneliness, sadness, and misery... or whatever it was. and you know, i was really really really really times inifite looking forward to having a nice dinner, full of laughter, and refreshing company. but NO. i'm deprived of even that once-in-seven-long-torturous-days relief.

i almost cried.

well. so ok. it lasted till a little after 9, the prayer meeting did. it wasn't too bad... i mean, the girls there are really cute and fun... thanks so much to lydia for the company, you never realised how much it meant to and comforted me, did you? but really, God bless you dear.

i have a hundred and one things on my hands to do, and places to be at the same time. God, save the krayle.

and you're right, it takes alot of courage to be the only one there. but perhaps it was my fault for not getting used to being the only representative, and being all alone, after all these years. firstly, there was no one in church to accompany me when i was in primary school. and furthermore, i was ostracised because i was different. alright, so that was over. in secondary school, there was no one from my p6 class or from church to accompany me. in sec three, i was dumped totally friendless once again in a new class... but that one was alright.. i really enjoyed my two years there. thanks for the friendships and all the welcomes... i miss them so much. perhaps it was because of those things that got me expecting to be accepted everywhere... and now i'm left to re-learn that i have to get used to being by myself.

it's a hard lesson for someone as people-oriented as me.

so after the prayer meeting i rushed down back to bt batok, where i ate macs.... somehow tasting junk food again tasted so good. i don't know. maybe coz i feel my life is junk right now.

no listen. i've found the meaning of life, and it's in this bowl.
i know life stinks. i know life's crap. that's why i flushed it down the hole.

a short two line quote from the play my TSD group has chosen to do. i'm sorry juan that you can't watch it, and ian if you were nodding your head with her, but yeah, it's a school graded assignment thing.. you can't watch it. XD there'll probably be a video of it though! that the teacher will give to us. perhaps i can show it to you then, if i don't screw things up too badly. i'm very prone to doing that. forgetting my lines and all. it always happens. not just during exams. sigh. i'm sorry mrsperry. i just suck.

ok i had better finish this up quickly. i had a bit of relief from the depression onslaught... got derrick to call, and that's when i found out that martin had caused him to dislocate his arm the other night.. [how retarded can guys actually get???] and then while walking back, still talking on the phone, i passed that amazing sale thingy... and bought these two weird jacket coats thingys that are super heavy and super not my size, but i like the accessories sewn on, and i can always alter them, and the amazing thing was, they only cost me 1 buck a piece. so that was like 2 bucks. *laughs hysterically* key word: hysterically. omg... don't ask me when the hell i'm going to wear it. coz i have no idea. one's far too big for me, and the other's a straitjacket. i know. exactly what i need.

alright. to these people. juan, derrick, joel, colin, serene.... i owe y'all a date. as in an outing lahz.

sigh. i'm so tired. that's what my character always says. i think i kinda understand. and i AM kinda looking forward to the part where i have to eat shit. it won't be that bad. it's really easy to swallow. like porridge.

alright. i have to go sleep now. good night people.

oh wait. there's still an email to reply.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:15 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, July 6, 2006:.
busi-ness.
 i just want to scream, and scream, and scream until my larynx shatters. then maybe when i finish coughing out all the blood, they'll decide i can't do it any more, do their dirty work for them. maybe our group could be let off this round of group practical.

but i guess i'd just be invalid forever then. and like the Little Mermaid, i'll only be able to watch as Time and others take away my dearest, without anyway to stop them, or persuade them back.

selfish? maybe. but aren't we all?

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 12:14 a.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, July 4, 2006:.
il pleut, il pleut, il fait beau.
 what can i say? i don't know. i have no idea what i'm doing wrong. everything seems to be crashing down on top of me.

what you said is so right, paul. it IS another week of loneliness and misery, and whatever other things you mentioned.

dreams are never as perfect as they seem.

Wuthering Heights is quite a fascinating book. all the characters never have any restraint on their behaviour. RESTRAINT. the more i think about it, the more i am convinced that expectations and restraints have squashed me out of shape, from what i was before. it's like a cushion, that's sat on too often, too heavily... after awhile, it just stays down, deflated, spoilt.

and what do you do with such cushions?

you throw them away.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 07:46 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, July 1, 2006:.
hotaru.
 i came across this story in sakura-crisis, i think... it's closed down. fortunately i decided to try reading this, since it was just a few pages...

i'm somehow very affected by it, everytime i read it. i don't know why. just give it a try. i don't know if you'll think it's corny or if you give up halfway because the english translation is, admittedly, rather terrible... but just give it a try.

HOTARU


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 07:01 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, June 30, 2006:.
there can be miracles... when you believe.
 They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way clear through the rain
A small, but still, resilient voice
Says help is very near...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 12:20 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, June 29, 2006:.
gleaming in the moonlight.
 heheh... hello shu... actually i think YOU are the one who owes me the piccies! *laughs* hand them over now!

so niwaez... i have some random thoughts floating around in my brain that i have have have to get out first.

1) it's funny how i always seem away when i'm actually online, and how others always seem online when they're actually away.

2) oh dang, i forgot liaoz.

sigh.

see what happens!!

alright nevermind i shall continue... i told avery i was blogging about his birthday celebration held this morning and so i shall...

HAHAHAHAHA omg abby's such a super cute gal.... omg... she msged us minus the star of the show: Hey hey. Tomorrow is the boy's birthday right? :) wanna meet in the morning to celebrate? if yes, sms me and don't wish him tonight k! pretend we meetin to mug :)

mich + char + ally and i went STRAIGHT to the library after being chased off by the teachers for making disruptive noise, which was after milling around outside, which was after claiming our bags which were rudely transferred from the bench outside our examination venue into some room where it was locked up for the two hours that we were inside, which was after the TSD test during which we were locked for two hours inside and i'm super damn proud of myself for writing so much so much so much CAN YOU BELIEVE IT but anyway back to my main point.

so, it being just after the test.............. we had to rant a little before we could fully relax. sorry. you should understand. so the four of us were kinda gathered around the pillar outside the library [abby and avery had alrdy come out] just RANTING. so in the meantime, abby had "sneaked" to the locker where she'd kept the cakes she got for the surprise celebration and was [i think] decorating it with colour edible sprinkler thingys into his name lahz. don't know why she was taking so long... the cakes melted and she had to re-do it or sth. so in the meantime.... avery was just kinda down there walking about and drifting between us at the pillar and her at the lockers. DON'T TELL ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

funniest part was, abby got one candle. the larger ones that stand for ten years. only one, coz need to pay. nono that's not the funny part. THE THING IS, she went to sms avery the night before [last night]: "eh. tmr bring lighter." or sth to that effect lahz. *laughs head off*

but he acted being surprised quite well lahz... ^_^ so cute... hahaha.... OMG they're all damn cute. XD

hrmz i kinda wanna watch this show... King and the Clown.. korean one... NC16 one... anyone wanna accompany moi?

hrmz. Moi Dix Mois. rather cool band. kinda like Malice Mizer sounding, but of course... different. why? coz it's not Gackt. i think. *ponders*. yeah. i think.

other funny things happened.. like charlene leaving her ezlink in the TSD examination room.. fortunately we were having our H1 Math test inside the same room, and found it.. at first we were thinking, ok, take it and don't tell her and give her a scare. then after considering awhile, we realised that she needed it for identification... like... NOW! but oops-- abit the cannot pass it to her. so we were kinda wondering, "what's she gonna use then? does she have her IC with her?" then concluded: put credit card.

another thing that happened when we were loitering in Orchard [familiar home-base territory!! *sighs contentedly*] and carmen, ally and myself happened to be passing by the Thai Embassy, which had some food fair thing going on inside. so, interested, we decided to take a look. suddenly carmen [who just trimmed her hair again] turned to me and said: "FIED chicken. FIED chicken." only when i turned did i realise that she was talking about some sign attached to a table below a tray of fRied chicken wings.

oh dear i suddenly remembered: there's musical practice tomorrow... do i really have to go? *whines* but i'm kinda proud of myself, last night i had to learn the theme song in a crash course which consisted of da's friend joshua chiam sitting next to me and singing my part into my ear when my turn came, while i tried to warble it out into the mic. embarrassing, but at least i caught it.

Single-minded hallucination
Kicking at the regrets on my back
Live in quiet desperation
then You offered me a hand...

so sorry that i didn't pick up.

OH and shawn + isaac's CRAZY betting... omg but that's censored lahz so nevermind.

so niwaez... ally was saying that pictures on blogs are better than just WORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS but unfortunately i don't have any pictures of today.

in our FAMILY PORTRAIT
we look pretty happy...

hahaha bihong reminded me of the visit to Estonahenj.

i hate my entries always being so long and wordy. GAH. i'm sorry everyone. shall shut up now.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:53 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, June 28, 2006:.
you try writing nonstop for three hours.
 xiao lehz. honestly, xiao lehz. omg. hahahah. but it's over. *smiles beatifically*

well niwaez the other day i was just wondering what things would be like if people had wings. air traffic. but there's so much more space in air than on land. i wonder what kind of accidents there would be... air-police... and whether human beings being the lazy things that they are, we'd somehow find some faster, easier way to get around other than using our wings. it's just fun to ponder. when i'm bored.

not that i really had time to do it today. that was yesterday. when i was supposed to be studying. well now you know why i didn't finish studying Heart of Darkness.

so basically today i went in there and wrote three hours of crap. hope it makes sense though. coz if it does then it'll be like striking lottery.

probably won't though.

an early day tomorrow... and then another free day. this doesn't quite feel as if holidays have ended... it's like in between. which, according to lit texts i have studied, is the worst place to be, when you're unsure whether you'll be going to Heaven, or to Hell. the uncertainty eats you alive. but whatever. i shall shut up.

self-reflection point: i think i conform too much. when reading things, like plays or whatever, i don't question "Why does this happen?" i just take it as it's given me. that's BAD. according to Singapore Educational System. we're supposed to be leaders, thinkers, and pioneers. whatever. don't you get tired of being so different after awhile?

L - is for the way you Look at me
O - is for the only One i see
V - is Very Very extraordinary
E - is Even more than anyone that you adore

LOVE is all that i can give to you
LOVE is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don't break it
LOVE was made for me and you...


cute oldie. heard it the other day. forgot what i was doing. reading when i was supposed to be mugging econs i think. but i gave up anyway. hehehehehheh... *cackles*

[current music: Michiyuki] --- lovely song. if you don't know it, damn, you're missing out!

oh the other night... don't know whether i should be posting about this... but i realised something that kinda amused yet kinda saddened me about my family. see my mom went down to bugis there in the afternoon while i was studying to get some free phone thing that starhub was giving us lahz. don't know what she's using it for, i called her just now after my practice and she didn't pick up. called BOTH phones just now. but wth.

so yeah basically.. new phone.. everyone's like super envious and wants to touch it and have it and stuff like that.. then i think coz i was teaching my mom how to use it [even though it's as new to me as it is to her, i orientate faster to new devices.. it's a developed trait of our generation lahz, nothing special] then she was saying that if i wanted to switch once in awhile, feel free lahz. then marcus the youngest overheard then was like, "i want i want! have bluetooth!"

mom turned to me and said: "i withdraw that."

i told marcus, "the bluetooth doesn't work lahz."

and then he was giving me some crap about having to set up the thing and change the name and i was like wth boy you don't talk cock when you don't know, the name doesn't freaking affect how the thing works! it doesn't NEED setting up, wth.

he was silent.

silence is another major thingum in Heart of Darkness btw, if you haven't realised. 1. Light 2. Darkness 3. Mist/Fog 4. Silence. the unmentioned one. HURHUR. is that supposed to be a joke. thanks arh.

oh i read thru my entire Oedipus the King text again. didn't do any good though.

oh back back to my story.

so he was silent.

oh i said that liaoz.

ermz ok so then after a moment my mom asked him sth about his packing stuff for some camp or stuff lahz. then he kinda replied quite rudely and sarcastically to her. she kinda stared at him and then exclaimed, "why are you so rude arh? sometimes i watch you, very funny lehz! jiejie [me] talk to you so harshly and you answer her so politely, but when i talk to you nicely you reply so rudely! i don't get it!"

and he was silent. again.

moral of the story is that marcus, as the youngest of the family, has not quite learnt to be seen and not heard. HAHA no lahz i don't really believe in that, that's adult beliefs... but he does talk too much. ever since forever.

but i realised that somehow it often happens the other way too. countless times i've infuriated my mother with my insolence, in some little way or other, and, frustrated at my unresponsiveness, she will retreat, then look around for something or someone else to snap at. usually that person is marcus, because he is so alike me [but worse] in so many ways. the first and the last child.

and so it happens. i enrage one or the other, for some reason they are unable to retaliate to me, so they retreat and vent it on another.

like i said, it saddens, yet amuses, me. it's one of those angel-devil things.. my conscience makes me guilty, but Keary is triumphant. I CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING, he seems to tell me.

looks like i'll be sleeping at 12 tonight. it's actually 42 now by the computer clock, and i still have that Stephen Lynch comedy video thing that's loading on Youtube for me to watch... check it out.... or.... maybe not. *deletes the link* sorry. i have to go thru it first and censor.

actually, censor for what. aiyah i lazy to copy-paste again.

like sand thru the hourglass, so are the days of our lives...

goodness how i hate that show.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:01 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, June 26, 2006:.
an cafe - wagamama koushinkyouku
 anyone have that song or wanna help me out? no? never mind, i shall search for it on various rotation sites then. sigh.

I can live alone, if self-respect and circumstances require me so to do. i need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.

i wish.

LATER--

i am back from school, and improperly triumphant... well at least it is beyond doubt that i will fail Economics CTs. i think wenloong, who was sitting next to me, was more worried for me than i was for myself during the essay paper. wth. nvm. ^_^ but he was super super high after the paper lahz.

HAHA tmr no school. so cool.

alright. i'm going off to drink my dinner. i forgot that there was musical practice tonight... sigh. bother.

LATER--

i don't know why i'm back on, i just feel like it.

it's so sad when you can't express out loud what you feel, when you can't act for your own happiness. and when, worst of all, you don't have any confidante to whom you can turn to for comfort, solace, advice, or just to rant. because you never know what people whisper behind your back.

i guess it's confession time. on Sunday, when we were supposed to be talking to God and just listening out for Him... i was just stoning. REFUSED to listen. REFUSED to speak. just... stoned. i tried to be angry... because anger stops the tears. but when everyone laughed, at me, do you know how deep that cut? you KNOW i don't want anyone to come watch the musical... i never did. i still regret. i'm not fitting in with them. part of me is holding back, i never really talk to them. heh, like i really talk to anyone.

Whispering... is such an adult trait. i hesitated joining the YA pple for dinner Sunday night because i experienced prior to that this sense of secrecy that i really do not enjoy. they'd like whisper whisper and then when you ask what is it? they just say 'nth' when it's obviously sth quite serious, or involving someone you care abt, and brush you aside... SUCH an adult trait. to brush others aside, thinking that you're protecting them, when they don't need protection, and actually you're hurting them far more by not taking them into your confidence.

well. there was alot of whispering anyway... and i really hated it. fortunately though, i had shirley darling.. ^_^ *smilez* *loves shirley* like who's the childish one lahz, keep whispering like everything's a secret. wth. super pissifying can. thank you shirley for making the night bearable.

i'm really tired but i don't feel like going to bed just yet. i don't know why. perhaps i don't know what tomorrow will bring. unhappiness? i am happy today. i want to stay happy. is that too much to ask?

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:41 a.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, June 24, 2006:.
super zoinked.
 GAH. the test went terribly. but, well. it's over. thanks to charlene for putting together such a lovely costume, and also to jenny + denise + shawn for encouragement, love and huggles. ^_^ of course, especially my dragon friend, who actually waited for us to finish first.

actually why'm i here? i want to sleep. XD nitenitezz...

LATER--

all these thoughts currently running through my head so that i don't quite know where to start!!

firstly: tim + min are such funky people... their wedding isn't even your usual type of wedding... well actually i guess we should have expected that!! ^_^ niwaez there was alot of song-composing going on, and it was really really personal [i mean, more than most weddings, esp wedding dinners, tend to be] and super super funky. i don't really regret [as in of course i regret a little bit, but not as much as i expected] dressing up until like that... [skirt? and highheeled BOOTS???] SO against my principles. as in, i really have a reason why i don't want to go all girly and things.. it's quite personal. and perhaps a little stupid. that's why i'm not saying it here. but i guess, for friends and mentors like tim + min, my morals can be compromised, just for one night, just for a little bit, just for them.

the next time you see me in a skirt will prob be a few years later. so you better hope that whatever i'm waiting for will come soon, if you want to see me in one again.

of course, there ARE pictures.... but sadly, not with me.

go hunt for them yourself.

i realised that the personal feelings that i have on this matter are VERY personal. and i cannot put them here. so goodnight. actually, good morning.

-signs off at 12.40am on sunday. freaking tired lahz. and makeup remover got in my eye.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:30 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, June 23, 2006:.
freaking scared.
 im so scared that this afternoon, i told charlene that i just wanted to die before tomorrow comes. but i guess that's not in God's plan for me just yet, because He sent this song along my way..:

and because He lives
i can face tomorrow
because He lives
all fear is gone
and because i know
i know He holds the future
then life is worth the living
just because He lives.

 i'm still scared, but not as shit-scared as i was before.

the dinner was fun. ^_^ and before the dinner was just crazy. met mel + shu + amanda at far east and we shopped for clothes. i cannot stand myself for what i bought just right now, like three pieces of cloth that i could probably have learnt to make by myself with time and help, that cost me $80. or more. OH GOSH. tim min you guys owe me. BIG TIME.

da i need you to help me do makeup and lend me your boots and whatever shit. howww.

feeling fugly. alliteration.

that word reminds me of alligators. why lehz.

super random now because i'm super scared about tomorrow.

HELLO SHIRLEY WHIRLEY!~~ WELCOME BACKK!!

ooh charissa just signed on. *laughs* have to find out how was the OCS dinner.

yupyupzz..... see y'all

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 12:48 a.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, June 21, 2006:.
Persuasion: finished.
 starting on Twelfth Night now.. that movie has got me extremely amused and interested. well, we'll see how it goes.

actually i don't even know what i'm coming on here for. i have nothing much to say. just that the reverse is true for the saying 'blessings in disguise'.

i'm considering switching over to blogspot. anyone care to dissuade me? well. we'll see how it goes.

or perhaps it doesn't really matter.

LATER--

Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone,
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings,
And she flies to a place where she's loved,
Concrete angel.


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 06:35 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, June 20, 2006:.
i don't, i won't, i can't.
 shirley's back! ^_^

and i have nothing else to say.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:51 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, June 17, 2006:.
Persuasion.
 a book by jane austen that was mentioned a few times during the lit trip, also a book that i bought in p5 and have never touched until now.

it's not so bad. i've learnt to take in this kind of literature.

today... was a super busy day. wait. i mean yesterday. friday. oops. i didn't realise it was so late already. but i haven't slept yet, so to me, it's still "today".

i tried to sleep! i really did! but!! i don't think i really managed to drift off until 4/5 am?? because everytime i started drifting off, my mind would latch onto something, usually the dreadful TSD workload, and CTs, and i'd go into a panic attack.

see lahz, all that michelle neo's fault. first pass me the cough while we're in UK, and now pass me her panic attacks. SHEESH thanks FRIEND.

ahahaha please laugh, i was just joking. you're still my friend. even though you did pass me these dreadful things.

got a really bad bout at lunch with the other five of them. i think they all kinda freaked coz well, if you read char's blog, everyone's perception was that no stress can touch rachel. she is immune to stress. unfortunately, that is not true for this time around. because this time around, it's mostly subjects that she really really really wants to do well in, subjects that she likes, and subjects she's going to be taking for A levels.

and so my barely-consumed lunch almost came back up again. to abby + ally + char + mich + avery, really, i'm sorry if i gave you a scare. thank you guys for caring. ^_^ it helped.

and that stupid image that mich whispered to me helped too. XD

avery chickened out. was supposed to go talk to the dean about changing classes, but no, in the end he got cold feet and was like, "er... so late already.. i bet he go home liaoz..." IMSUREIMSUREIMSURE.

that phrase is quickly dying out anyway. why like that.

well actually in the morning was TSD group meeting.. half of them were late and then.. yeah... just like that lorz. at least we got SOME stuff settled. i'm so sorry for having to leave early, if any of you are reading this. i guess my priorities are a bit weird but they're still mine. i apologise.

well Lit thingy... avery crashed and was straightaway recognised lahz, but at least he wasn't kicked out. then halfway through ally decided she wanted to leave. then by default, abby will follow her. chances of avery staying or going are equal, i actually thought mich would stay to take notes, and me and char go with the bigger crowd. well. depends who's in the bigger crowd lahz. if mich had stayed, i'd probably have stayed with her. heh.

niwaez then ended up rotting another hour in the mini-canteen.. which was alright lahz, quite funny, and everyone was mugging like xiao. only that boy there was regurgitating his memorised love poetry onto paper, and screaming that he'd forgotten two lines, and then vomitting out another one, and then gloating over his pretty pretty Heart of Darkness notes.. which i'm sure we're all extremely grateful for, considering we couped four copies of all he'd written. *laughs head off* it's a good thing... coz i'm quite dead. thanks dude.

ok i kinda need to hurry liaoz.

so after zapping the copies, i ran off with one [sorry, who do i owe money again? blew every cent on lunch at swensons... yupz, the lunch that almost came up again] and straight into the cab in which rocky was waiting for me in outside sch. WAH. sorry dude. really really sorry.

well niwaez we went to Raffles City.. ahahahaa i was quite amused coz he and the taxi driver were discussing Singapore politics all the way. wahahaa. well. i think i need to gain more of that kind of knowledge. i'm really, like mom says, "living in my own fantasy world with no real knowledge of what's going on in reality at all." alright, so those weren't her exact words! but something like that lahz huh.

it was so cool to just hang out, eat haagen daz ice cream [their sunberries ice cream flavour is <3], and just talk. about things and problems and memories and friends and experiences... and sometimes just listening to one another, and try to help in whatever way possible, or just to comfort. i thank God that i have brothers like you, rocky, you and derrick that i know will always be there for me to rant to. and you two do know that i will always be here for you to rant to as well, right?

went to the esplanade, and up to the roof place... found this empty patch and lay down on the grass and looked up at the stars.

goodness, we saw a shooting star!

betcha never saw a shooting star before!

it was just a little one, and for a moment the both of us were like *blink blink* and i was wondering whether it was just a plane, actually. but then after replaying it in my mind a few times, i realised it'd been going too fast, disappeared too fast, and there had been a flash around it's tail at the beginning.

the both of us are saving our wishes.

well, at least, he is. i'm choosing to spend mine now, for all my loves...

I wish for you my Friend
this happiness that I've found
you can depend on Him
it matters not where you're bound
I'll shout it from the mountaintops
I want the world to know
the Lord of love
has come to me
and I want to pass it on...

yeah sure it was infuriating to stand there half an hour and have all these taxis just ignoring you... i got more tired during that time than running around the entire day. honest. so well in the end we gave up and decided to give our business to the mrt instead. XD

i'm glad to have a brother-in-Christ like you. thank you for listening as i unburdened myself. *hugs* take care of yourself, and never lose faith.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 01:48 a.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, June 15, 2006:.
unholy hours.
 shan't make this a very long entry because i still want people to be reading the one about the UK trip... or at least looking at the random pictures. ^_^

yayy i'm quite happy i get to go for the wedding dinner. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ love love!! so happy~~ congratulations~~~~~~~

guess we thought it'd never end...

of course i'm talking about the trip.

i miss the company. i miss laughing over the silly things that avery does. i miss teasing charlene over shopping. i miss being crazy and high at random times with abby, though she got really stoned and sober last two days or so... i miss playing bridge on the coach and dealing cards onto our hands... i miss mich giving her rabbit face and being laughed at.... i miss sarah calling me darling and dear and always being so concerned when i'm quiet... even when there's really nothing wrong... *laughs* ^_^ thanks all for the love. be assured it's returned in full, and even more.

thanks also for the grand welcome, from all the sec twos, mel + shaunald, gerald especially for coming all the way to the airport to fetch me... *huggs* you guys sure know how to make me feel loved. ^_^

and having home-cooked food, a full meal of meat, veg, rice and hot soup... it's heaven.

even though i didn't wake up early enough to have breakfast, when i did wake up, i had pancakes. how wonderful is that in comparison to downing grease? 1000%, i assure you.

it's a pity that the advert photo doesn't have charlene + sarah. but sarah wasn't quite with us just yet, and charlene was worrying about dirtying her jacket. blah.

oops i keep exiting the mass convo by accident. *laughs* going off soon but not just yet lahz.

chocolate bars... UK has this really lovely chocolate bar called Yorkie... gosh... i like it so much i bought five bars back. of that five bars there's about 4/5 left. sigh.

and avery still has his breakfast coupon from that day we gave him our leftovers. *laughs head off*

he sleeps super early lahz. so little boy boy.

vic asked me for sadistic games. at first i told her russian roulette and then she asked me if i had a gun. so i told her to close her eyes and jab at the spaces between her finger with a fork or knife. wth. then i gave her her UK trip present: the dress pic. which you all will not see till i choose to reveal it. ahahahaha i thought she got a heart attack and died because after she went OMG rachel that is not you the convo on her side went silent. so of course i assumed she died. heh but she didn't i'm talking to her again now. i do think i look quite gross. don't argue with me. but whatever makes you happy. ahahaha. there was great excitement... so scary.

abby's gone off. now it's just me and charlene.

no lahz i'm not going to do anything to her.

although vic thinks i'm bi...

i feel like eating cup noodles. heh. but can't lahz, supposed to sleep soon.

and besides there's no sweet thai chilli sauce in the fridge.

NO BLACKMAILING WITH THE PHOTOS!! i mean, you can go ahead and blackmail avery, and it's a pity that mich's sleep-spasming video was deleted, but NO BLACKMAILING ME!! XD no i'm kidding, do whatever you want, just hope that you don't catch me in a bad mood or i'll just spoil your fun. XD.

once more, much love, and dawn, i'm remembering that promise. ^_^

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:49 a.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, June 13, 2006:.
Dedication:: guess who's back!
 wah omg i'm back and i realised that the few pictures that i took, they're all damn crap. *laughs* oh dear. cannot make it as a photographer i guess.

damn funny, the first thing i did when i came home was rush to use the toilet. shitting has been a problem from everyone i think. this morning i sat with the guys coz there was no one else to eat breakfast with and then jheeva went sth like i finally managed to do it. then after awhile he was like, "eh better tell her what we're talking about after she think wrongly." well it did sound rather bad. and you guys have no idea what i'm talking about.

wah the moment i logged onto msn, four and then even more pple spammed. omg i feel damn popular!! that sounded so bim.

where do i start??? maybe from the back--i got a scare when we got off the plane home, i thought i lost my passport. turned out it was in my bag. omg. and even if i tell you stuff here, it won't really seem funny!! what are the essentials that you really really wanna hear? i have no idea. am i supposed to write about the stuff that i bought and everything? the right side of my contact lens disappeared after the first night... how stupid right? XD so i had to wear specs the entire time. my eyes feel like they have grown smaller.

i can't say that it was worth missing church camp... i really don't know if it was, and i guess i'll never know. of course if i had a choice i would want to go for both. but well. ^_^ get to read about it anyway. thanks so much to my darling godbrother shaunald for writing so diligently... can't wait to get the letters. ^_^ love you all so much!

mich, we forgot to carry out our self-abducting plan.

the moment the plane landed i heard murmurs of dread concerning the Common Tests that would be happening once school term reopened. haven't done a single thing for all the work i have to do and am trying very hard not to think about it. whenever i saw peaceful scenery like the lake outside our hostel at Lake District, i think of CTs. sigh. the tint of whateverishness in joy. grah.

i honestly don't know where to start. nineteen days is a long time to be blogging about. should i go day by day?

perhaps only the essentials. i have to refer to my journal. XD

for the first time in my life i actually cried at leaving. i don't know why. just felt super super emo and everything and i think mom and dad and everyone got a shock when i turned arnd with tears on my cheeks. heh. don't ask me why. i think perhaps pms. then get very emo. well it didn't help that the first thing i did when i got there was trip on sth and fall on my knees. there's still a slight bruise and cuts there actually... though much much much better than it was back then. so because i was so emo and stuff i couldn't call home. just thinking about calling home and i had to go outside to calm myself down. heh.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting breakfasts were all the same throughout. alright, so there were two choices: cooked english breakfast, and continental. cooked english breakfast was greasy sausage, hashbrown, eggs, tomato, baked beans, bacon. eat until want to die. continental was better: croissant, yoghurt and toast. but still. it's disgusting to eat the same thing every morning. even worse coz it's super oily and omg. it just sucks to have to eat the same gross food every single morning.

there was one day when we were in Edinburgh, Scotland, and we girls couldn't finish our food. so just combined all the clean untouched ones together on one plate and gave it to avery, the guy of the group. damn funny~!! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

wah omg i knew this would happen, im just to xian to justwrite everything. want to talk to people instead. and some more it's quite hard to just recount everything ... blehz. ^_^ like how do i tell you about avery taking a video of michelle spasming in her sleep on the bus? and the way abby skips around randomly, and the way charlene is afraid of the dark and sarah finds the best scones in the supermarket coz it's in her blood? [she's half Brit]. ahahahaa... this kinda things... say here not funny. ^_^

got to know some new friends, and some new things about the old... some good, some bad... and it was entirely smooth.. i mean, it's 19 days, not 3 or 5. i like the fact that almost every night we would talk things out, and stuff like that... always brings a feeling of satisfaction. hahahahaa. see lahz even when teachers don't ask us for reflections we still automatically do it anyway. basically the seven of us, abby + ally + avery + charlene + mich + sarah + myself, it just felt like we were a family. no saliva-phobs allowed on this trip. everyone just shared all the water and didn't bother with not-touching the mouth and everyone shared food like no one's business. even lollipops. XD Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

and i'm enjoying the chocolate i bought back. darn why doesn't Singapore sell.

LATER--

the Retard has returned to try to do a bit more justice to the trip.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

IMSUREIMSUREIMSURE!!

*lho*

after visiting dunno how many castles, everything looks the same. stone walls, cobbled paths, and numberous portcullis gates... the only one that i distinctly remember is the Edinburgh Castle, because the guide was funny. He was trying to tell us like some battle techniques from the castle walls at this particular point and why you wouldn't want to be an invading enemy and stuck at the point. firstly, once the portcullis gate closed, you couldn't really get thru or climb or whatever and things and arrows would be raining down from above you onto your head. the rest of the troops on your side would still be flowing in and you'd be trapped. "now in a Hollywood movie there would probably be a pot of boiling oil poured down from above. But what Hollywood does not yet realise is that oil does not grow on trees." instead, human waste, an inexhaustible supply, would be used. boiled, it would have the same, if not better, effect. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

according to my journal, we visited the place where the latest Pride and Prejudice was filmed. but did you really really want to know that? no i guessed not.

watched alot of plays! Phaedra, which was Greek Tragedy and encompassed incest and all... kept falling asleep... Titus Andronicus was at the Globe Theatre, which is a wonderful beautiful place... ^_^ no mic system at all in the place! in the first five ten minutes one of the minor characters got injured and had to be carried out. but after that everything went fine~ one girl from our group fainted when Lavinia came out after her hands and tongue had been cut out and stuff and she had blood coming out of her mouth. it isn't logical that after being raped and so tortured, she should still be alive... she was even conscious, and tottering around! gosh. but well. that's the way the story goes. it's all about revenge lahz. abby started laughing hysterically. it was a little scary coz i didn't know what to do if she really fainted or what.

the advert time picture that michelle sent is damn nice... it's so beautiful and perfect lorz. really like some advert or those pictures that you see in a manga. so cool... i think it was taken in the garden of jane austen's house or sth....

*gazes at the picture* *sighs*

oh mich told me to talk about what happened when i bought the watch that cost only ten pounds. nice watch kiez. guys' watch. went into the shop and was kinda looking and then the person came up to me and said:

'can i help you sir?'

ahahaahaha... i didn't quite expect it lahz. but yeah. all through he called me sir. 'so sir you want this one?' 'thank you sir, see you again.' the funny part was that michelle was with me and he said to her, 'we have ladies' watches over here...' and she was a bit, 'err...'

damn funny!!! XDXDPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting

mich's going to kill me for that.

oh we visited Stonehenge. Estonahenj. i don't know why i keep calling it that. it sounds more complete a name than Stonehenge. but the retarded thing was that they'd marked out a path around the stones and we weren't supposed to cross the markers lahz. sucks. come all the way to see the mythical stones and then we cannot touch it. avery and i were considering running to the stones, touching, then come back. then after that don't wash hands. XD so retarded. imsureimsureimsure! but didn't lahz. so sad. XD Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

oh talk about weather. other than the first three or four days, which was quite cold, summer finally set in. the sun i would say is worse than in Singapore, but of course the wind was much cooler. but still, the jackets i brought were totally useless after London.

gah mich has such nice pictures in her camera. mine are all shit.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

the word "photowhoring" was used quite excessively in the first few days. then our dear friend avery happily went to shorten it to "whoring". so like when we went some place, he'd go, "come, let's go whoring, go whoring." OMG. i think it was like novelty or sth. he kept saying it. CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT. but it died out lahz. ^^ Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

the occasional whiffs of stench that came from the toilet in the bus was unbearable and lethal.

shawn [chua] is my darling dragon friend. ^_^Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

what else. avery's laughter can be spelt out: "hahaha". ^^ everytime he laughs like that he sets aly + abby off and then the whole lot of us start laughing.

there was one place that we went... not very sure where. we stopped at this huge expanse of field. and what we were here to see was actually this building lahz. supposed to be one of the two most popular addresses in wherever we were. then we were given half an hour to just walk around and take pictures... actually because the guys wanted to play soccer with a group of ang moh guys at the side. ahahahahah. play until baika. however you spell it. it was quite amusing to watch as well lahz.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

that evening we went back to catch a full-dress rehearsal of A Midsummer Night's Dream by this full-male troupe. so amusing! each actor took two or three different roles, including the female roles... it was super fun to watch lahz!! ^_^ and it was free. so cool. one of the actors looked like Mr Lyon. everyone got a shock. acted acting badly well.

ahahaha ok my journal tells me the funny thing about jheeva walking in on avery in the toilet but that one censored lahz. there wasn't only one instance... DAMN WEIRD omg.

because of that highly amusing performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream, i guess our expectations kinda rose, which kinda led to many of us falling asleep or not really liking the performance of Julius Caesar the next day. heh. but honestly, alot of talking, not much action. Friends, Romans, countrymen; lend me your ears!

Oxford was nice... i'm trying to remember what the hostel there looked like. i cannot remember. hrmz. anyone wanna help me out? ok that can keep till later. but we went to the University, and met up with some of the RJ alumni that were studying there and had tea and went punting and stuff. what's a punt? well, a punt is a glorified sampan. abby and i got to try to punt. aahahahaa. so fei4li4. whew. then after that we took picture with the shi1fu4. XD oh mich just reminded me... the one that our room had our own toilet and shower! the rest were all communal. oh yeah this was the one that mich and seema battled for the bathroom. damn funny!! seema's like mr bean lahz.

i feel dull and boring. :( boo.

then my journal tells me the personal stuff happened. heh. shan't blog about that lahz. coz it's quite stupid. i'm thinking that perhaps coz we're arts students, we're more emotion-oriented, and we have feel that we have to vocalise our discomforts and dislikes. that's why every night or so we have bitching session. XD does that make sense? Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

oh at Lake District... the lake was beautiful. but this was the place where we had trouble opening the windows. DAMN WEIRD!! XDXD. the other five in the room were desperately trying to get it open. yanking at the ropes and everything. by the time i went over to see what was going on, a group of angmohs had gathered downstairs watching us striving to open the thing. some were even trying to give us instructions. so funny!! then when finally michelle figured out how it worked, they broke into applause. HAHAHAHAHAAA... no face liaoz.... malu malu.... *laughs head off*

the first night at Lake District was also the when there was a short ghost story exchange... it was quite funny lahz. coz the lights were switched off and only one or two of the bedside lamps were on... and then the next day seema did recordings on avery's phone for ringtone and alarm... see whether can get my hands on it... but it was damn funny, she used her indian accent. ^^

oh dear, this really isn't amusing, is it? well let's see... i mean i'm getting bored blogging. i'm sure you'd get bored reading rite.

don't trouble Trouble until Trouble troubles you.

GRAH THIS ENTRY SUCKS I'M SO SORRY EVERYONE! charlene did a wonderful job of summing it up, why don't you click here and read it. perhaps i shall try again tmr.

LATER--

i am once again called back by a sense of duty to my readers. XD. yeah right. i mean-- IMSUREIMSUREIMSURE!

i have reached the day in my journal during which one of the stupidest things happened. firstly, they brought us down to Dove Cottage and Rydal Mount... william wordsworth's houses. then they brought us to the place where him and his family were buried, and there was a gingerbread shop there. -.- that was the first thing.

after lunch, they brought us all the way back to the hostel. from there we took a ferry kinda, across the lake. i think. this is the dumb part. when we got off, we found that the coach had followed us all the way to the other side. and then when we boarded, the coach just brought us all the way back to the hostel again.

but ok lahz the ferry ride was really funny... took quite a few photos, and stupid things happened... like we stole avery's hairwax and he was desperately trying to find it. we returned it to him the next day [kinda forgot about it] but he never used it for the rest of the trip. hee. we always flatten his hair anyway.

so after the ferry ride and the coach ride we were then brought to some hilly area place where we hiked and hiked and hiked until we almost dropped dead ... just for the view. scenery. kill me. i somehow by some miracle managed to keep up with abby + avery and of course mr mcconnell. and when we went up the first mound our clever friend decided that the other one was taller. so the three of us, one bright green, one bright yellow, and one white dot, went down the first hill and were halfway up the other when they called us back. coz some other people couldn't take it. wahaaa. so we had to go up down the second hill and up the first one again. kill me.

over there basically me and abby were running around lying in the grass and singing out loud. so fun... so free... it felt like CTs would never catch up to us. took pictures with diff groups... like just our little clique, and then our class, with our senior sarah, and then TSD, and stuff like that. sat around and sang songs like Pass It On, Dedication, school songs, and oldies that everyone knew so we could all sing together. there was also a bit of poetry reading... trying to make us feel English i guess. hahahahaa... sorry not working. but it was fun niwaez.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Take Teck Heng taking us. oh yeah that was also the place where we found the pool table. funn~~ but only played one two games lahz. not much. chaunvinists.

quite sad that didn't get to buy a kilt when we were over at Scotland. my dragon friend looks so adorable in it. he refused to tell us whether he was wearing shorts underneath or not. "It's a secret."

THEY TOLD US SCOTLAND WAS GOING TO BE THE COLDEST PLACE IT WAS THE FREAKING HOTTEST LAHZ LIKE SINGAPORE... ok wait perhaps the second stop at London was worse. yeah. it was worse. stuffiness. the bigger rooms with lots of bunks tend to look like orphanages. in Edinburgh and York. this is about when i started coughing. all mich's fault. ahahaha. then everyone caught it from there. coz everyone just shares water and food like nobody's business? it was that close. somehow. but i liked that feeling. like family.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

the adults like to let us loose in the streets at 6 plus, when all the stores are closed already. i wonder what was their point. but ok lahz, it wasn't like there was totally no shopping. ^_^ it's just a bit stupid when you're let down and they say ok be back at the hostel by yourself at 7.15, there's no transport back, and then you find most of the stores closed. dumb.

i bought super alot of books on the trip. buy and buy and buy and buy and buy until all the spaces in my handcarry that was originally for food was filled by books. and books are way heavier than cupnoodles in case you didn't know.

omg my hamsters just gave me a scare. it's 3.26 am in the morning actually. the things i do for y'all.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

the j2 girls found ticks on their bodies. so scary. when we heard the news all of us started getting quite paranoid, and suddenly everyone felt itchy and was scratching all over. like mich said "a thick layer of sth" and i heard "a tick layer". gee. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

i miss playing bridge on the bus. it's quite retarded like we tried all the different methods and finally we decided to use hands. one person [usually avery] would deal, and then other people would hold out their hands for the cards. so funny. we tried using the floor but the person had to keep bending down. not good if you get nauseous easily. all sorts of funny things happen, like aly gets very uncomfortable when avery reads her cards without her showing them, coz he's that good already. then she cannot take it. XD

there was a drama workshop on one of the days at York University... super fun. two of the students were helping the lady in charge of the workshop, and they were super good. one guy one girl, and the girl was brilliant. she's able to change the way she says the same line. basically it was experimenting with the different ways you could convey relationships and tensions through similar words, body language, tone, things like that. the short scene was written by Carol Churchill, consisting of only six lines.

FATHER, MOTHER and MURIEL at dinner.
FATHER Is Muriel going to eat her dinner?
MOTHER Yes, eat up, Muriel.
FATHER Have a special bite of daddy's.
MOTHER Yes, eat up, Muriel.
FATHER Muriel, if you don't eat your dinner, you know what's going to happen to you.
MOTHER Yes, eat up, Muriel.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting it was quite amazing. all the different situations they showed us, sometimes simply by a change in posture. Isabella was the first volunteer and she did wonderfully. ^_^ well. good is good! magnifique.

i think there was once that i scared aly out a little. it was getting late and we were tired and i said sth like, "is it me or are the shadows creeping?" coz when it gets late and dark and i get tired, from the corner of my eyes it seems to me sometimes that things are moving. perhaps they are, perhaps they aren't. but i think she got a bit freaked out, coz at that time it was just the small group of six of us that was awake, and the light was quite dim. that was at the hostel at Bath.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

oh if you're wondering what Bath was, it's just the city where they used to have the Roman Baths. it kinda stunk. musty smell. so cold.

went to yet another church... Yorkminster. that was the day that we had a few hours of shopping on and off... splitting up was very helpful for our group coz we had different tastes kinda. so when we split up, we actually made really good time. ^_^ came back to attend the Evensong service. i don't really know how it works but although the choir singing was lovely.... i couldn't really hear their words. people were nodding off, and the only reason why i didn't myself was coz i was too busy being amused while watching them drowse. XD oh dear.

michelle's turban hat.

that was the day in York's hostel that i went a bit gonggong and actually said i wanted to try on this new dress that michelle got. and suddenly it seemed that the whole world was coming into the room and cooing and squealing and exclaiming and throwing bags and hats at me to wear and pose for the camera. o_O monumental was the word used. probably because i won't be wearing one of those anytime in the near future. XD.

you guys should read mich's entry. it's quite general but it has alot more useful information than mine does. Here is the link. thanks so much for the patience. and for not being annoyed at me even when i felt i was most irritating and whiny, mich.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

oh yeah her entry reminds me to credit seema. because other than doing the funny voice recordings on the phone, she was also our personal cup-noodle chef. coz the girl bought this bottle of sweet thai chilli lahz, and then she would help us make noodles when we were hungry at night. gosh. she's so nice. i'm so sorry for being a lazy bum and thank you so much for the good food darling. ^_^Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Camden Market is one place i wish we had more time to shop at. yiwen said to me, "Rachel, you're in heaven aren't you?" but yeah, though the clothes and accessories and everything were lovely and totally my type of stuff, i couldn't get it! coz everything was so expensive! nevermind. we shall just learn how to do costumes and then make these clothes for myself. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

who'm i trying to kid. *laughs*

now yiwen thinks i'm scary coz i tapped his cheek when he said he would be eating junk food for lunch. coz he has no money. he says it was a slap but i MAINTAIN it was a tap. where got slap so soft one. the one i consider a slap was the one i gave to the who in p4.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

bought handcuffs. and a collar-choker thing. whenever sarah sees it she goes "kinky..." it seems that i'm always unconsciously buying very kinky objects. unintentionally. i just think they're cool and i buy them and then realise too late that they might give some people the wrong impression.

i'm wondering how come in UK we can sleep at 3 and wake up at 6 and not have any problem, but in Singapore we do. could it be the heaT? no? but sometimes we don't sleep that much in the coach arh... so weird.

The Royal Hunt of the Sun by Peter Shaffer is a good play to look out for. as well as One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Dale Wasserman. considered buying the plays but decided not to in the end. owell. can always get it if i decide to... right?

oh when we were on the way back on the coach from Royal Hunt of the Sun, avery started considering changing class to come to ours. he really thought about everything: classmates, teachers, subject combination, acceptable reasons and excuses to give to leave his current class, and things like that... i think currently the only small blip would be his PW group. michelle is the one he teases the most, and then she was thinking about having to deal with both him AND wenloong, who also teases her no end, and she couldn't take it. *laughs head off* so cute.

our free shopping day was cancelled for museum visiting. super super xian. could have fallen asleep walking, it was that boring. just not our type of stuff lorz, i think. they brought us to Tate Modern, this place with modern art displays and stuff, and set us loose for dinner. wonder how many people actually went in. our group only visited because we finished early and had time to spare and nothing else but sit and stone to do. at least abby found a painting that she really liked over there. forgot the name of the artist, but it's quite a famous one... abstract art... and something about narcissus and disgust and desire and sth to that. she liked it because it was so clear to her. but somehow i couldn't quite see anything until she pointed it out to me. but at least someone enjoyed herself. ^_^ i'm glad.

finally i'm quite done with my blog entry. omg. i'm so sorry for having to put you people through this. terrible eh? i'm not expecting anyone to reach here, but if anyone does, you poor darling, here's a huggle for your trouble, you really shouldn't have. ^_^

i know i'll definitely miss the company. it was quite close, like just the seven of us, with sometimes shawn, marie, seema kinda, as in they'd join us once in awhile, but not for very long. Things of course could've been better, on my side, but they're already good, and i guess now it's over, it doesn't really matter. sadly though, the fun's in the little bits that you can't really write down, you just have to remember them. and sadly, my memory is like a 99 year old, i'm sorry. sucks eh? hopefully these will stay a little longer, or at least the group of us will make keep making happier ones to fill up the spaces.

We have shared our morning days
And gone through all rainy nights
Even in the darkest of nights
Stars still light up our way

Tomorrow is a beautiful dream
A dream that will be fulfilled
Cross the bridge of rainbow
In search of the gold

From here we stand [from here we stand]
Our dearest friend [our dearest friend]
Sincerely from our hearts we wish [from our hearts we wish
May streams of sunlight
Shine like rays of hope [shine like rays of hope]
Hand in hand, we work and strive
For the best things in life [for the best things in life]...


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.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:12 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, May 25, 2006:.
always remember..
 all my loves, please don't forget me when i'm gone. it's just nineteen days, a long nineteen days. don't forget you had a friend called rachel ang. don't forget she loves you all. don't forget...................

i try to be strong for her...
try not to be wrong for her...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:38 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, May 24, 2006:.
packing for UK trip.
 WHAAAT a hassle. but after today's GP common test being over, i'm feeling quite alot more relaxed. maybe a bit too relaxed... more than i'm supposed to lahz. grah. packing for the trip now.. there's only like tmr of school and then it's off to UK liaoz.

omg. time like flew. it only seems this morning when michelle was commenting that there were only nineteen more days left till the trip. and now it's the day after tomorrow!!! *gasps*

niwaez just went to the dentist today... gosh manz... changed wire and then changed braces rubber band colour and then also ... ADDED ELASTICS ... omg... i don't know how i'm going to dahan lahz i'll probably just end up spending the entire trip not putting or sth... gah.. they hurt my ulcers... my never-leaving ulcers...

i lost my pen. one moment i was holding it, then i walked around a bit, and then it disappeared.

THERE IS NO SCANDAL, EXCEPT IN YOUR HEADS.

i'm kinda tired.

there was something i wanted to say, but i forgot. chunny please do write some more nice stuff.... it can't be all that hard...

have so much work to do!! oh gosh. here's my list, feel free to volunteer to help me out yesh?:

1. Dance At Roger's lit essay
2. 12 greek plays to read and do a reading journal on
3. 2 play reviews.
4. individual TSD test preparation
5. group TSD test preparation [this includes doing costumes for the rest of the group]

sigh... part of me is so looking forward to the trip... but the other part of me is really really regretting it. the teachers got cheated i think, they jumped at the first price offered, and it's like.... 4k. i think they were cheated lorz. which leads to us being cheated. plus with all the extra expenses, which is really unreasonable considering the price we're already paying, all in total adds up to about 6 or 7k.. Sing dollars lahz.

omg i feel like i'm wasting so much money. after CTs might consider looking for a job. but then again that's what i always say, and never really get down to doing it.

so... that's the reason why i'm kinda sad.

also kinda anxious about the TSD tests... i mean, it's really something i want to do well in. i don't know why. cannot stand sarcasm i guess. and if you don't do well, don't put in effort, they'll make you feel it.

kinda sucks.

you see, it's never about a really pure emotion. there's always two sides to it. the more part of you likes sth, the more the other part of you dislikes it; the more you love sth, the more you hate it.

i had a dream that i got a note saying he couldn't take it anymore, the way that we were so faraway now. and i woke up believing that dream was real. it lasted until i was waiting for the bus at the bus stop, and then i thought about it... for a second i thought it had truly happened, and i was so glad... and then i realised it was just a dream.

might as well have been a nightmare, the way that revelation broke my heart.

sigh. still harping over things that happened... once upon a december... that's a pretty song.

but this isn't supposed to be a sad post! it's supposed to be quite happy... oh yeah... i guess this will probably be the last or second last entry that i'll make before i fly off.... *wheeee* so everyone, love you all muacks muacks muacks... *flies off to room to continue packing*

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:58 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, May 19, 2006:.
Defying Gravity.
 Juan: KACENG i'm SO GONNA KILL u for tt PIC too! haha. i'm sorri if i wasn't realli there for u esp. this yr coz i'm trying to find my own footing. dun worry i'll always be here for u! :)
amanda: OMG RACHEL!! I WAS GONNA SAY I MISS YOU TOO AND I LOVE YOU A LOT BUT I REALISED YOU PUT THAT STUPID STUPID PICTURE UP!! you toot. YOU WATCH OUT.

thank you both of you for the death threats. also to olives for sending me down an email when she read it... it really means alot to me... that you warn me before springing an attack upon me.

yeah skipped sch today that's why i can blog at such a time. sorry to my three pals over there. have lit homework to do. which i swear i will get down to doing straight after i finish this post. which i have kinda said all i wanna say liaoz. ^_^

why doesn't the musical Wicked come to Singapore? *groans*

it's time to try defying gravity
i think i'll try defying gravity
and you can't pull me down...


LATER-

you know i realised that i'm wrong. you know how i always say that i think i'm suffering from depression? well i change my mind. i now think i'm suffering from BIPOLAR DISORDER. so cheem rite. but i think so you know. i swing from extremes. hahaaaa. there's alot of things wrong with me i think. but i like me the me is.

you would probably like to know that's it's fifteen minutes from nine pm and i still have not done a single piece of work. brilliant, rachel! just brilliant!!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:49 a.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, May 16, 2006:.
back to angst eh?
 just a hi to colin and paul ho before i start. ^_^ now that's done...

i realise i'm going to miss shirley quite terribly. suddenly all this feeling has come rushing back. i don't know why. usually i'm incapable of feeling this. but when i saw her name and her email saying goodbye before she went off to the cambodia trip, i just rmbered that i'd miss her hugs, and her little ways of showing care and concern.

i miss shirley. she's the one on the left.

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i miss dawn. i'm kinda tired of always posting at her blog, sending her emails, and she doesn't reply them. she hardly comes online. and it's not as if i wanted to bother her when she was still in Singapore, but at least she was a cheap phone call away, if i wanted to. i miss dawn. and she's going to kill me for putting that picture.

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i miss kyle. i don't know why. but he's always meant alot to me, and i miss him something terrible. didn't help that he just sent me two songs today. they're not terribly lovely songs, but... well. sometimes its the thought, and the giver that counts. i miss kyle.

i miss aunty edna. my previous maid, she was so funny, and i could really talk to her... even though i don't remember ever doing so. i still have the necklace that she gave me for a birthday present the day that she flew off... she remembered. and she was crying. and i wanted to cry too, but i couldn't. i can't. like how i wanted to cry when dawn left, but i couldn't. which is good and bad.. tears only come to me when i'm alone. but i miss the way she'd go on and on about Anne of Green Gables until i felt like reading it myself, and the way she wakes me up, and the sarcastic remarks she makes, as well as the information on the hollywood scene... she's like my newspaper lahz, any info i need i can usually get from her lorz. but now she's gone. it's terribly selfish, but i want her back. i miss edna.

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i miss my old class. 3/408. perhaps we weren't the most united of classes, but we were united enough all the same, and i really felt like there were people who actually cared for me there. but now, whenever we meet each other along the corridors, there's like this impatience... i'm guilty of it too, but perhaps because others are showing it to me. everyone's moving on. i miss them so.

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and i miss the girls at church. amanda + shu en + melissa + charissa basically... sometimes i don't know who they are anymore. but perhaps they could say the same about me. it's like i spent primary school being so different from them, leading up to this tiff that is better left dead and buried... it's so stupid. but it hurt all the same. so when we got to like sec 3 and 4, and we actually clicked a bit more, i was so happy. like... FINALLY. but now that we've moved on the JC, they've gone and moved on and left me behind again. i don't mean physically.. i see them every sunday. but it's that glass wall feeling again, i see them, but i can't quite reach them. it's never your fault, it's never mine either. things like that just happen. but that doesn't stop me from missing you my sisters.

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in the same way, i miss juan. i don't know. same thing. she's just moved on. perhaps i have too. different directions. things like that happen. i know she doesn't know me anymore too. i can see it when she talks to me, when she looks at me, and when she runs to tell her latest happenings to shu en first. it hurts, but it happens, and this, i know, had alot to do with my fault. i'm sorry... but it happened... and i miss you.

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there's alot more, i guess, if i come to think of it. but i'm just tearing so bad now, and marcus is sitting next to me so i shan't. don't get me wrong, it's not that i don't like my friends now, but... everyone's different. and having new friends doesn't mean that i don't treasure the old ones, or that i'll love or miss them any less than i would if i didn't. have new friends, i mean.

sigh niwaez. hope you guys have a great day. i did, actually, i mean, mine was alright, i don't know why my mood just suddenly plummeted. my fault for thinking about these thngs i guess. well. ^_^ cheerios. and my passport expiry date is 12 may 2013.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:44 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, May 15, 2006:.
s-n-a-g, SNAG.
 sensitive new age guys are what's getting carmen irritated. poor aly. but niwaez, about your "abnormal" tendency.... it might be abnormal, or at least not so normal, but you're not the only one who has experienced it lahz. just DON'T DO IT and everything will be alrite.

took so many weird videos today. heh. people i love my phone. ^_^ owell owell. *stuffs in a mouthful of orange* yayy for potterpuppetpals! the links to watch are here and here. happy watching. ^_^ NOTE!: remember to strap yourselves to your chair coz you will fall off laughing.

So You Think You Can Dance.... Snow's out!! oh noooooooo!!! i mean not like i've been keeping up with it, i only just found out who they are like now? but i thought she was so cool.... but of course Melody couldn't be out... i don't know. =(

aha... ahahahaa.... just caught the finishing of th 9pm chinese show... how stupid... i think the girl fell on a knife or sth... she's like gasping and gasping but the place stabbed is like... no blood! trick who lorz... little kid mahz? tell you little kid liddat also cannot trick lorz. stupid.

GAHHH just so retarded I CANNOT TAKE IT.

sigh i feel like flaming this girl that i saw on the street, she was being such a bitch... but then this would just lead to war of the schools again and there's nothing i hate worse.

ok maybe there ARE things i hate worse but... yeah.... i hate it pretty much all the same.

SO! anyway. ^_^ today after school went to meet gerald at Lavendar... went to eat lunch at Army Market... also don't know whether that it's real name but yeah... it's cool... the beef noodles are superb.... omg i want to eat more.

then went to play pool again. XD

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:51 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, May 14, 2006:.
of Jokes, Insulting Forums and Family Matters.
 so, basically, if you have not yet gathered from the title of today's entry, i have three basic things to tell you abt, which i shall not bother to repeat. you can bother your eyes to move up a few lines to read the title again.

1) Of Jokes.
 alright basically. coz three of my friends from church went up to Malaysia from Tuesday to Thursday for an Anglican Youth Leaders retreat. main goal would be to hang out, get to know each other, and then network lahz. that's when you start to realise how small Singapore is.

but niwaez yes, back to the main story. gerald did tell me on the phone when i called to make sure he was safely back from the trip that there was some funny thing he wanted to share with us. *laughs* shall not mention names lahz. really really shall not. i mean, those of you who know the person already know who it is, and those who don't, it doesn't matter to you, but it does to her lahz. and i shall show my rare act of loyalty.

so last day is usually when you exchange numbers and everything with everyone whom you've befriended over those three days or so. heh.

so okay. so she's exchanging numbers with some guy. then you know one way of getting another person's number is to get the person to give you a missed call right? that way the both of you get each other's numbers. considering you have caller ID, which i don't. therefore it's a method that doesn't work with me. ^_^ and niwaez. yes.

so she's calling. and the phone in her pocket begins to vibrate. what does she do? she takes the phone out and tells the guy, "Eh hold on arh. Hello?" and she picked up her own call. T.T

ok she's going to kill me for posting this. *runs for it*

...................

ok, i'm back and still alive. ^_^

2) Of Insulting Forums
ok so a rather large group of us decided to dinner [dine sounds too high-class a word for it] at Tiong Bahru Market. was it Tiong Bahru? not sure. but at least that's what i remember lahz, kiez. if wrong then just bear with it. so, quite alot of people.. the sad thing was that the first group [which i was in] had already finished their food before all the later stragglers appeared and began to order their food. it was quite sad. but that made for alot of talking as well.

so paul was telling us about these insulting forums that are at this website that i shall not name in case i get traced in a google search. but oh yes, he and luke were also telling me and martin about this thing called PotterPuppetPals... go on and google it... they promised it was a good laugh... but niwaez yes back once again to the main topic. insulting forums. you go there and you insult people, and learn to be insulted. he was telling us that the longer you've been there the higher social status you are, and if you're a newbie you should just sit there and not be noticed, if possible. because seemingly when they start flaming you left right center, it actually hurts.

my point is: i don't think i should go to those kind of forums. because i don't think i'll be able to take insults sitting down. especially not in front of the computer. and then as i was showering, i realised that that was an equally valid reason for me to GO to those kind of forums. so that i can learn how to insult people back when they insult me. i guess.

alright. so you've had two of my main stories for today as well as two subplots. might elaborate on the subplots later, or i might not. we'll see whether inspiration dries up or something more interesting comes along the way.

3) Of Family Matters:
so after dinner, my fourth aunt and uncle decide to be nice people [they're always nice pple lahz] and give the three of us -- my brothers and i -- a lift home. on the way my fourth aunt decides to drop by my... [first/second?] aunt's place.

yeah so niwaez my Ah Kor's [that's what i call her] husband is this japanese and we call him Uncle Tsujimoto. yupz. he's in those kind of companies that come up with strange new ways of promoting organic stuff and maintaining your health making you more alert and blocking radiation from modern technology and stuff like that. i mean, it's true. today he showed us again this magnesium stick thing that you're supposed to put in your water, and it'll produce hydrogen which is supposed to make you feel less tired and lethargic and keep you awake. XD. yeah. maybe i should get one eh.

ok so my main point is, the adults were talking and i was planning to just sit there on the couch and either 1. doze off or 2. read my sherlock holmes book and start on The Valley Of Fear. but just as i was about to get about it, Ah Kor asked me to tell Uncle Tsujimoto the subjects that i was currently taking. of course, Theatre being the new subject, we chatted about that for awhile.

then the conversation moved to my grandmother. my grandmother is a really cute old lady who is really really really really kind and generous to her grandchildren, even though she does snap and panic a bit when they start climbing walls and jumping fences and stuff. [i have a clear memory of her reprimanding me when i had climbed this low wall in her old house] but the thing is, towards domestic helps, she's an absolute terror. with sky-high standards, she always finds some little detail or other to pick on them about. and this is a picture of her.

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i'm telling you guys all this in absolute honesty because i hope you'll understand and forgive her on account of her being old and having had brain injury and op before... really you have to excuse old people. at least this old person, coz she's my grandmother. MY grandmother. that makes all the difference in the world. like when i went to play pool with a handful of the guys today, and i told paul to do the double shot and he got it in, and he tried and he did, but later it didn't work for benedict coz i hadn't instructed him to do so? yeah. like that.

我是大姐大。你们这些小瓜，快给我磕头！ mwahaha.

ok ok back to main point again. Family Matters.

so yeah, my Ah Kor was kinda telling my fourth uncle and aunt what was happening in that house lahz, coz my sixth uncle is the one taking care of my grandmother now, and coz of stress he's getting from all angles he doesn't feel like putting up with my grandmother's petty stuff anymore, and yeah... stuff like that.. so i was just sitting in the corner quietly and listening and finding out a bit more about my family background which i always never know about... when suddenly my Uncle Tsujimoto patted my knee as he rose to go to the kitchen, and murmured, "What are you learning..."

was quite amused by that lahz. as in usually adults when they talk like that they just forget about everyone who's listening. or they would be speaking in hokkien and all. but i really do like my that japanese uncle. sure, his english is a little strange at times, and when i go out with them alone i'm always on my best behaviour and am kinda awkward... but i like my uncle alot because, why, he doesn't underestimate children. he will be utterly frank with you, and he is so sincere.

so perhaps my main point in this story is this: my Uncle Tsujimoto is not on my list of typical thickheaded adults. and i am really glad to have him as a relative.

hrmz alright man now let's have more sub plots before i elaborate on the other one. you'll see why when we get there. but niwaez, was taking this whole load of pictures with people and of people from church today. ^_^ so cool. i'm not going to dump all of them here, but only a few funny/cute ones.

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this is amanda. damn cute right. i'm posting it because she doesn't like it, but i do.

now for photos taken after dinner.

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this is vanessa. she's nathaniel's little sister. please do not stalk her or kidnap her because then it will be all my fault. but quite cute right. ^_^

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ORH!! GANG FIGHT GANG FIGHT!! CALL POLICE CALL POLICE!! EH GERALD YOU'RE A POLICE RIGHt!!! ARREST THEM!!!!!

ok no lahz they were just playing. that's hui juan on the left and stephanie on the right. please do not do anything to them either.

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and this is my school library. no link right? not like i went to school today. but i just felt like sharing the ... ermz... beautiful scenery with you guys.

alright alright now for elaboration on a aforementioned small subplot.

as we were walking out of the house, suddenly one of my Ah Kor's neighbours popped her head out of her house and called my fourth aunt's name. turns out that my Ah Kor had my fourth aunt's children's squash coach for a neighbour. so cool.

the main point of this subplot is that: SINGAPORE IS DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN SMALL.

therefore i shall end off with this song dedicated to all of you.. i bet you haven't heard it in a long time. do any of y'all know where i can upload my songs????? so that i can post it here. oh. also a funny video. ^_^ enjoy!

It's a world of laughter
a world of tears
its a world of hope
and a world of fears
there's so much that we share
and it's time we're aware
it's a small world after all

It's a small world after all
it's a small world after all
it's a small world after all
it's a small, small world.




.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:17 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, May 13, 2006:.
now playing: Horie Yui - Life
 if i can't come up with titles i'll just put the name of the song that's currently playing.

actually it's not like i have anything to blog about. i just want to type stuff about myself. XD oh wait, i DO have stuff to talk about!

ahahaha i felt like a super pro pool player yesterday. damn cool. went to lucky plaza with serene to play. ahahahahahahahaa. clear table lehz!! and three out of the four times i broke rack, two balls went in.

there are two explanations. 1. i really improved 2. i was just really lucky yesterday. of course i'm hoping that it's the former. but then again... it's probably the latter. sad.

but that doesn't stop me from feeling happy. ^_^

after that both of us were just walking around talking about anything and everything... walk walk walk so walk from lucky plaza to far east to eat dinner and then walked to paragon to pee and then walked to heeren to just spiral up and spiral down and look at the shop NewUrbanMale which is quite gay and sick but funny in a way and then went to HMV and just talk about bands and songs and pple that we think of when we see/hear what songs. XD. heheh. it was quite fun lahz. ^_^

LATER-

btw, li en has this green pig thing on her blog, you guys might wanna check it out, it's real cute, even those of you who don't know her can still go and have a look. ^_^

LATER--

as i was saying before my computer internet modem so rudely went on standby on me... li en's got this cute little green pig that you can play with on her blog. go check it out. and if you want, you can adopt one too. unfortunately, a cute animal would look too out of place on MY blog... unless it was like a vampire bat or sth... yeahh... so... see y'all have fun. ^_^

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 12:34 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, May 12, 2006:.
summer sunshine.
 yesterday was such a tiring day. but also such a funny day! laughed and laughed and laughed... alison's so cute, even though she made me get ketchup up my nose... :IT BURNS!!

zhaofeng was ultra magnifique... heh.... so cute lorz. why didn't he have more solos! it's not fair lahz wth. i mean, they should star their single soprano MALE more right!! ahahahahahaa. and half the time he was blocked by all the girls standing in front of him. sheesh. boo. i want to hear zhaofeng sing!!

hrmz... wait niwaez there was sth i wanted to say but i forgot. XD. dearie me. i have no idea!

owell.

The heat of summer sunshine
i miss you, like nobody else
the heat of summer sunshine
i kiss you, and nobody needs to know


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:56 a.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, May 10, 2006:.
pikachu togepi squirtle.

sth that got all three of us rolling with laughter.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:04 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, May 9, 2006:.
click on the Emo Song by Set For Glory.
 click here to listen to manyun's friend's band's song. and follow the instructions in the title. here's the lyrics if you wanna sing along.

I like to watch Animal Planet and watch the animals mate
It turns me on, it turns me on
I like to watch Discovery Channel and watch the jellyfish mate
It turns me on, it turns me on

Coz I’m emo
I like to wear girl’s pants
I like to sit at home and cry
I like to sit at home and cry
Coz I’m emo
I like to wear makeup
I like to sit at home and cry
I like to sit at home and cry
Coz I’m emo
I like to make out with guys
I like to sit at home and cry
I like to sit at home and cry

I know I’m not cool but I have my space
Be my friend
And I have tonnes of pictures of my pretty hair
Come on come on, Be my friend

Coz I’m emo
I like to wear girl’s pants
I like to sit at home and cry
I like to sit at home and cry
Coz I’m emo
I like to wear makeup
I like to sit at home and cry
I like to sit at home and cry
Coz I’m emo
I like to make out with guys
I like to sit at home and cry
I like to sit at home and cry
Coz I’m emo


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:27 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, May 8, 2006:.
holmes and moriarty.
 replying to tags: all my love to shirley... have a great time in Cambodia and come back with loads of stories and much much more experience! ^_^ ^_^ will pray for patience for you. XD

they ARE curlers, vic. i mean, do they look otherwise? i bet that japanese thing was just a formal name for curlers. like sanitary napkins=tissue. correct? and no, i didn't watch that video you wanted me to. i saw the first few seconds and then i freaked. yucks. so vulgar. give me sho-ai anyday.

and hello to my darling godbrother mr shaunald bean. HAHA.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 07:16 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, May 6, 2006:.
replying tags.
 to da: coz the tix so ex. =(

to elisa: it's a happy day/ i'm living it for my Lord

 to chunny: YOU BETTER FIND IT.

to vic: hrmz. who's that guy with curlers in his hair?

I was yours before the first morn broke
Before the sun that woke the earth
And I was yours before rain kissed the ground
Before the first dawn's sound was heard

I'll be the whisper of angels
And I'll be the frost on your glass
And I'll be the shadows at twilight
I'll be your first your last

I'm the rush-the fire in your veins
Across the desert plains I ride
I'm the ache the sound that midnight makes
A streak of star across the sky

I'll be the whisper of angels
And I'll be the frost on your glass
And I'll be the shadows at twilight
I'll be your first your last

I'll be the whisper of angels
And I'll be the frost on your glass
And I'll be the shadows at twilight
I'll be your first your last
I'll be your first your last...

--AMICI FOREVER


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:12 a.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, May 4, 2006:.
i've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart [Where?]
I will sing to the Lord,
for He has been good to me.
--Psalm 13 : 6

on reading the tags, it's really impossible for me not to laugh. ^_^ you guys make my day.

in the end, i was unable to recover my misplaced bookmark. which is really a pity. well. God's will lahz, and it's not right to be so attached to material things. hopefully it'll minister to whoever picked it up. the person had better appreciate it, for it was my loss.

^_^ of course i'm scary, my twin. why else would i have been chosen to be one of the demons?

hello joel. ^_^ yupz cool eh, the wall fact? lalalaa. and yupz there are plenty more characters, why don't you take the quiz and find out who you are? i will laugh if you get Jezebel Disraeli.

AND IT'S NOT A MANGO.

even though the fruit taste marvellous. i just finished up this manga yoghurt thing that i found in my fridge when i came home from school today. as usual, i fell asleep in the bus. but yes, what does that have to do with the yoghurt? i have no idea, friend.

AND YES CHUNNY I'M GLAD YOU GOT THE HINT.

alright i'm going back to my Sherlock Holmes book.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 07:20 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, May 3, 2006:.
Song of the Day: Pieces of Me.
 [30] Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the youth men shall utterly fall,
[31] But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
THey shall walk and not faint.
[Isaiah 40 : 30, 31]

 i insist that Count Cain is the graphic, even more morbid version of Sherlock Holmes.

and a big big big THANKYOU to michelle neo who actually climbed up to the second floor to help me look for my bookmark. really really. i owe you a big one, mich.

but yeah, to those who're reading this who don't know... i lost my bookmark. the one with the above Isaiah verse on it. the one with the picture of the eagle. i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really loved that bookmark [yes i typed out every single 'really'... really!] and now i think it's lying on the cold floor of the dark AVT. *shivers* i really hope i can get it back...

interesting Sherlock Holmes fact: 'When a man writes on a wall, his instinct leads him to write above the level of his own eyes.' try it out for yourselves. yes i think it applies to women too.

msn just hung on me. yes i'm using the old computer.

i have nothing much to say, actually, except that i feel like a two-faced bitch sometimes. especially nowadays. people tend to squeeze/shove/elbow/shoulder past me, which really gets me irritable. so when i go quiet, i might or might not be lying when i tell you i'm just stoning. you'll have to watch my smile i guess.

ok.. here comes a friend to console. *sayang, sayang*

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:41 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, May 2, 2006:.
labour day.
 once more i realise that people have been reading my blog without my knowledge, in other words, without tagging the tagboard. but anyway, whatever makes you happy yes? =)

having happy days... as in everything is going generally well... nothing much to bring me very down, and whatever there is, it's in the past, and i'm currently doing an excellent job of ignoring it. at least for now. of course i cannot say anything about bad days... but this period of good days has been lasting for a very long time, and hopefully an even longer time yet. ^_^

alrite. let me consult my personal journal to update you on recent happenings....

on sunday the whole church was activated to go door-to-door... this time we were giving, not mandarin oranges, as we did during chinese new year, but BREAD!! no relation to labour day whatsoever lahz, but they just wanted to give something. yupz.

this time round, even though jo chan didn't come, leaving it to just me and ernest, things went alot alot better, and our mood was also alot alot better. ^_^ actualy. i have nothing much to say. just that i realised i still remembered how to speak in chinese. well enough for me to get my point across. *laughs* and you know, in Singapore, you can always just mix some english with the chinese. *sends a silent thanks to chinese tuition teacher for always trying to get me to speak in proper chinese*.

hrmz. now that's two words you don't see together, or at least not in that order: Proper Chinese.

and to add on to the fun, after dinner this whole load of people from church, namely cassandra + shaunald + nathaniel + vanessa + jiansheng + jonathan + paul + mark + luke + gerald + kimberly + stephanie + max + ... oh wait, no one else. ok plus me and my brothers, and of course some of their parents lahz. hrmz. strange. when we were playing bridge in the room it seemed so crowded. why arh. maybe the room's just small. but it was damn fun. esp when gerald went to irritate the sec twos when they were conference-calling.. can you imagine!! sec twos and already conference calling!! and the best part was that they thought it was nathaniel and refused to pick up any calls from him after that. *laughs*

it also seems that i have been compelled, or at least asked, to buy very many tickets recently. let me list them all.

1. RJ Dance Concert Tix--$13
2. SA Dance Concert Tix--$20 <--this one's a bit..err..
3. RJ Chorale Concert Tix--$12 - $6[sponsorship from zhaofeng = $6
4. Shifting Gears play Ticket--$10
5. RJ Piano Ensemble [i thought they already had a concert!!] Tix-- i haven't consented yet. XD

hrmz. ok lahz. perhaps not that very many. five, minus the last one which some of you will probably insist isn't counted, four.

but it's making me dead dead dead broke.

and i still do want to buy the entire collection of Count Cain manga. like really really really really really really really x infinite want to. sure, the desire for them kinda died down, but now we're onto things like Victorian London, and Sherlock Holmes, which kinda reminds me of a less gory and much simplified version of Count Cain, all of it is ... hrmz... freshly renewed.

alrite alrite. enough of that. just a big big hint that you can always get that for me if you're short of ideas for presents for me. haiz.

alright. back to my doings instead of my wishes. even though i really do wish that we had more holidays for me to do things like yesterday. went to play pool at Bt Timah Plaza with gerald + ben low + paul... it was damn fun lahz... and then we all realised that we could be the Skinny Gang.. *laughs head off* i mean my pool skills totally sucked yesterday, but the company was so fun, you know what i mean? ^_^ even though gerald was still gaying paul from the day before... ahahaha... shall spare you all the details... but yes. ahahaha.... played a bit of straight pool which got quite xian for me coz i was freaking lousy.. and gerald kept clearing the table... so the three of us were like "errr........ ok can we go sleep."

then after that....... juan joined us and we decided on Pizza Hut for dinner. starved. let me tell you. i don't care whether they sue me or whatever [FUTCH THEM!] but their service seriously sucks. and not anyone of them except the manager [at least i think it was the manager] really cared. we sat there playing bridge for one hour and sipping our iced pepsi [i was really shaking, i was so cold] and our single large pizza with the cheese crust hadn't come yet. WHAT. THE. HELL. and let me describe to you how serious that is, really really. we were shown to this seat at the corner, at the counter there. and at that time, we were the only ones there, all the other tables around us were like empty. so ordered, and all, someone took out cards and we waited. [ben left us for his own dinner at home sometime then.] AND THEN. played and played and played and waited and waited and waited and we realised when we looked up, that all the tables around us had filled, with families, and they had all gotten their food already.

and here we were, four poor famished souls, trying to take their mind of their hungry with a few rounds of bridge, with our single pizza not even here yet.

WHAT THE HELL RIGHT I ASK YOU WHAT THE HELL.

juan said that a similar thing had happened to them when they went there the last time. and they got lots of free food for that. but when we told this round of people, they just freaking didn't care and had to wait further for the stupid freaking pizza. OMG. i tell you people, please please please don't go there. freaking ex. and they still dare to charge $3 plus for service charge. WHAT service, i ask you.

boohoohoo. see lahz they spoil my mood. =( but ok lahz we managed to cancel off the service charge, as well as get free three bowls of soup [gerald didn't want]

by the way i'm really hungry i think i shall leave you all now... ransack the fridge for food. yupz. see y'all.

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.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 06:17 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, April 29, 2006:.
Carman - The Courtroom
If tonight you stood in Heaven’s court to seek eternal favour
Would you face Jesus Christ as Judge, or would you face Him as your Saviour?
There are many who don’t quite know for sure what that verdict would be, if ever
So let’s imagine for a moment that you’re standing dead centre in the Courtroom of Forever…

Sitting before you is a structure, massive and intense
It’s here your fate will be determined, before this judge’s bench
Then a voice booms “This court’s now in session” and your adrenaline starts to rush
Peering down with eyes that see through your soul, is God the Father, your Judge.

Then off to your left across the room, is the virtual silhouette of sin
Stepping out of the shadows of condemnation, your worst nightmare walks in
On his face is the smirk of evil incarnate, his mind fixed on your destruction in hell
You’ve just been introduced to your prosecuting attorney, none other than Satan himself.

The Bible says he’s the accuser of the brethren, so guess what he’s gonna do
He’s gonna accuse you of your sins and he knows them all, both the old ones and the new
He’s prepared his case for years, now, the golden moment is his
So in arrogance he presents his case to the judge, and it comes out sounding something like this:

“God you see this worthless piece of trash over here, this one’s a sinner to the core
This one’s committed adultery, cursed his neighbours, stolen money, been into drugs, alcohol and even more
This hopeless wretch has even slandered friends, and by that guilty face this whole courtroom can tell
That to a moral certainty beyond any reasonable doubt, this one deserves eternal judgement in Hell.”

The words of accusation still echo, your every sin thrown up in your face
And God opens the book where every deed is recorded and reveals your records of disgrace
God says “The book says you did this, this and this and everything you are accused of today
Now before I sentence you to Hell forever, are there any last words you have to say?”

Now if it’s true you’re standing there, in the courtroom of eternity
With God to your front and Satan the prosecutor to your left
There’s one remaining eternal truth, one that’s crucial to remember
One you should never, ever, ever forget

And on the other side of the courtroom
I said, on the other side of the courtroom
You ain’t here with me tonight, I said on the other side of the courtroom!

Is the one and only Son of God, revealed in time and space
And he’s your defence attorney who has never lost a case
It’s not Buddha, Mohammed or Krishna, or any others who succumb to death
Ladies and gentlemen, on the other side of the courtroom, is Jesus Christ of Nazareth!

Then Jesus jumps up, says, “Wait a minute Judge, now I’ve got something to say
May I remind you that on the Cross two thousand years ago, I washed his sins away
I was crucified, I died, they put me in a tomb, but long about the midnight hour,
The power of God hit me and I walked out of that grave, alive and well with resurrection power!”

Then the Devil says, “It’s in the book, it’s written in the book, check the book!” God said, “Okay”
Then He takes the book out, lays it open, and He says, “Now we’ll see what this book has to say.”
He turns to the first page, the second page, the third, by the fourth the Devil seemed shocked
God closes it, says, “The blood of Jesus must’ve worked, ‘cause there’s absolutely nothing in this book.”

The Devil says, “Now wait a minute, check that book again! All his sins are written down, they’re all right there!”
God says, “Devil, maybe you’re mistaken altogether. Maybe it’s this other book down here.”
The Devil cries, “No not that book not that one!” God says, “Devil why’re you so uptight?”
God sets the book down, the dust flies, and on the cover it says: THE LAMB’S BOOK OF LIFE.

Is your name in that book? Is your name in that book? Is your name in that book for sure?
If you’ve been forgiven, and your name is written, then lift your hands, praise the Lord

Yes, my name’s in that book! My name’s in that book! My name’s in that book tonight
I’ve been forgiven, and I know my name is written In the Lamb’s Book of Life
(In that book my name is written, my name is written) in the Lamb’s Book of Life

This court is adjourned.


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:32 a.m.:.
...
.:Friday, April 28, 2006:.
Ella Enchanted. by Gail Carson Levine.
 That fool of a fairy Lucinda did not intend to lay a curse on me. She meant to bestow a gift. when i cried inconsolably through my first hour of life, my tears were her inspiration. Shaking her head sympathetically at Mother, the fairy touched my nose. "My gift is obedience. Ella will always be obedint. Now stop crying, child."

I stopped.

i realised that i haven't blogged for quite some time. therefore. ^_^ just wanted to share with you a bit of the first part of the book that i read twelve or more times in P6. dawn will remember, she will remember how obsessed i was over it. YES i do rather think that the movie was TERRIBLE because it was nothing at all like the book. i mean... i suppose it was good enough on its own, but with what i [and i'm sure there were tonnes more people] was expecting, it was a real LET DOWN.

what else. seemingly there's phototaking... ermz.. don't know when lahz. but soon. like next week? or the week after? not too sure. ahahahahhaa. wenloong's wishing for his hair back. maybe if he wishes like real hard... he'll use up more cells and then it will manifest as hair. hopefully on his head.

oh well. for the UK trip presentation shit... i'm working with the J2 alissa... we're doing the Sherlock Holmes thing... i really really really wish that we could do Count Cain instead, but of course, who knows about Count Cain except a few people.... and it has really very little relevance to Victorian Victorian London London... if you get what i mean by the repeating and emphasis... *laughs* taht sounded terribly littish.

realised i have like... two or more scripts waiting to be memorised. DIE.

link to wikipedia page on Count Cain.

i suddenly feel like watching the Gackt splitting video. join me. it's at the side underneath my particulars and shit... it's titled Gackt on Utaban....

also feel like watching Loveless. and FULLHOUSE. ahahahaha so many things. i feel like doing so many things. why doesn't time like just stand still so that i can have time to do these things!!! *grah!*

On His Blood.

niwaez last night when i came home from... dinner with the rest of the band... was incredibly drowsy.. and while packing my schoolbag for the next day [today, friday] i realised that my ruler was missing. i clearly remembered the last time i saw it that day was when i took it out to draw the axises on some transparency paper during math. and yiwen pushed the paper to me to keep and then took it back to hand it in to the teacher.

so sent an sms to yiwen, asking him whether he was holding on to my ruler. it came out [stupid dictionary mode] like this:

Yiwen! Do you hate my ruler?

yeah go check your handphones or whatever... and yes, please do feel free to laugh at me. ^_^

lalalaaa.. if you can make at least one person a day laugh, or happy... it'll come back to you.

the thumbdrive aunt karfoon gave to me keeps conking out now. ah well. good thing i didn't move EVERYTHING into it. ^_^ still have original copies in the D drive in this comp. heheheheh.

i'm beginning to think i'm a bit too skinny. i'm bruising all over!! it kinda sucks. like my right hip. it hurts. and my right elbow. i keep getting shocks because i think a nerve is being pressed against the bone or sth.

it kinda sucks.

can someone please persuade my mom to give me more allowance so i can eat more? she complains about me going out to eat too much but the food in school just is kinda like shit, ya know...?

yayyyyy... oh yeah... didn't tell you guys.. i got a new phone!! ^_^ used my own money kae. my mom was only there to help me vouch that the guardian knows about all this thingums.

shall finish Ella Enchanted today and then start on Sherlock Holmes tmr. i think it's gonna be a bit like Count Cain. but somehow i prefer Count Cain......

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:56 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, April 28, 2006:.
milton and donne.
Which Count Cain Character are YOU?

Congrats, you're Cain. Tragic, curious, cold, yet also tenderly caring--There's really not much explaining to do if you've read the manga.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code


well basically, today we got back this compare and contrast essay for these two poems: by John Donne and John Milton, Holy Sonnet XIV [i think] and On His Blindness.

and in the very first sentence of my essay, i wrote:

"In these two poems, On His Blood..."

gosh. i must've been hungry, maybe.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:06 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, April 23, 2006:.

"daughter"??????? wth, joel! ooh it rhymes.

what else. i love performing.

and zhengjie has a fever.

and derrick just moved house.

and dawn called me the other day from all the way from aussie.. and she's doing fine!! ^_^ miss her quite alot...

and that person didn't come for the concert... so instead, i just wished his Lookalike all the best for the concert. *laughs* he looks kinda shocked everytime i talk to him. damn funny. never mind. i liked my hair.

people say i look gothic even though i'm in my school uniform. which is like... white blouse green skirt, wth??

yayy. big big thank yous going out to all my loves who came and stayed to watch the performance last night, once again. ^_^ *huggles* and thank you for the flowers!! so honoured.

just remembered what was it with my frutips obsession. what the hell. how people can affect you, it's truly amazing.

oh niwaez watched Furthest North Deepest South today.. and on the way back finished up reading A View From the Bridge. that Eddie character is really so stupid. kissed both his niece and his niece's boyfriend. *laughs head off* so stupid...

and ooh just saw marcus's comments on the class blog and his personal blog... wahh... so reassuring... hope he's not just being nice. ^_^ but thank you, friend, if you're reading this.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 12:23 a.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, April 22, 2006:.
RR concert yesterday
 omg. the performance went so well. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ a big big thank you to those who went to support... really really... ^_^ yayy... what else is there to say? you have to see it for yourself...

ben's band did brilliantly too!! hehehehehehhh..

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:32 a.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, April 18, 2006:.
Sum41 - Pieces
 I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy but no one believes me
I meant all the things that I said

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty, my thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy that nothing could save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

On my own!

I tried to be perfect but it just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own…

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:41 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, April 17, 2006:.
Patrick's Rune.
 In this fateful hour
I call on Heaven with Its power
and the sun with its brightness
and the snow with its whiteness
and the fire with all the strength it hath
and the lightning with its rapid wrath
and the sea with its deepness
and the rocks with their steepness
and the earth with its starkness
all this I place
with God's almighty help and grace
between myself and the powers of Darkness.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:52 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, April 16, 2006:.
none other than...
 YAYYYY Courtroom was a blast!! ^_^ had so much fun!!! went totally crazy manN!!!! i love my makeup and my hairstyle.... THANKS TO HUIMIN!!!! ^_^ yayy yayy.. i'm watching my black-nailed fingers fly over the keyboard... so cool.... it kinda blends in with the black keyboard, actually...

grrr it's over. yayyy it's over. i don't really know whether to be happy or not. happy because i really enjoyed performing it, not happy, because i won't get to perform it again. =(

gahh got band practice tmr. don't like it. same four songs again? sigh.

niwaez yes. i love our performance today. =)

and the Les Choristes soundtrack is lovely

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:37 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, April 13, 2006:.
delirious?
 guess what people. *laughs* i won this lucky draw whatever thing that got me the entire series of Delerious albums. from the first to the latest.

honestly!

the funny part, that's gonna make you scream, is that the stuff that got the lucky draw thing wasn't even bought by me. it was just that dawn used my Popular card when she bought one of the cds for her friend's present. *laughs head off* oh boy i wanna see your faces...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:31 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, April 12, 2006:.
HAPPY TWENTY-FOURTH, GERALD!
 hrmz. splurged today. all your fault, crane!! grah. heh. but ok lahz i liked all that stuff. wish they were cheaper though. don't we always?

for lit trip, i'm in some group that has to present on victorian... thingies. like sherlock holmes. and lo and behold, my mother has this book that claims to be the complete sherlock holmes collection. whoohoo.

victorian reminds me of Count Cain. ^_^ my beautiful Count Cain. heh heh heh.

ok well niwaez main point of this blog entry is to tell everyone... sorry... i won't be performing in the pre-concert. me and my band will be performing in the MAIN SEGMENT. heh heh. also don't know how. but yeah. it's just that way.

so... ermz.. please buy tickets.... ?

niwaez yupz really sleepy... brothers are always hogging the comp grah them damn things lahz... wish i had my own laptop but parents would never agree to that lahz... hrmz. hrmz.... anyway once again to gerald, wishing you a happy twenty-fourth... though i know it wasn't very happy for you... =( cheer up kiez? see lahz supposed to go play pool with you plus eat ice cream but in the end, coz you cancelled on me, i ended up splurging near 80 bucks on myself. GRAH. your fault. =) owell. see ya sunday, i hope. love everyone!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:14 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, April 11, 2006:.
it's a happy day, i thank God for the weather.
 ok, maybe it wasn't the best of weathers today. it did rain. and it was cold for some time. =) but i had quite a wonderful day today. except when playing guitar and then the Lookalike showed up and plonked himself to the table next to us. screwed up my singing seh. wth. but other than that, everything today went absolutely PERFECT! =))) i'm so happy. martin's asking me to hurry up, but you know, how often do you see a happy post on rachel's blog? hardly ever right?? therefore, be happy and celebrate! pop some champagne! have this great craving for Swensons' Sticky Chewy Chocolate ice cream. miaaooo.

TSD performance... didn't go too bad! =) managed to remember all my lines, just that i screwed up at like... two places? heh. and still wasn't sarcastic enough. haiz. sorry chiawyee. =( let my didaskalos down. yayy but i still enjoyed performing it. even though everyone was staring at me and i felt really nervous....... but i still loved it!!

and i love my honkie-ponkie-dragon-friend SHAWN. *laughs* he's damn funny. don't know how honkie-ponkie got in today. like before practical lesson he was making all these sick jokes with sindhu, don't know what's wrong with him today, but it was damn funny... he'd go like "FUTCH you arh! FUTCH you arh! chocolate FUTCH arh!" and sindhu'd be like, "EH, if you're not going to say it properly then please don't say it!!"

how many times can i say this? i love my class. both my ct class and my TSD class. hehehehh. such funky people!! whooooooooohooo~~~~

what else what else. OH. i fell asleep on the bus today. and for the first time [and probably not the last] i missed my stop. FORTUNATELY, my phone dropped from my hand to land on the floor of the bus with a loud clatter, making both me and the girl sitting beside me jump. i looked out the window--unfamiliar scenery!! oh no wait! that looks like Princess E Primary School! i'm still near home!! hurry get off.

then i checked the bus routes that they now have on the new bus stops, and i realised that there's a bus that comes there that'll bring me straight home downstairs. ^_^ *purrs* if i'd gotten down a stop later i'd be somewhere before the PIE it seems. o_O

thank God for small blessings.

i think carmen passed me her cough. sigh. i wish she'd passed it to the econs tutor instead. she and her duck face. urgh. but ok lahz she wasn't TOO bad today. except for the part where she bullied yiwen. grrr. i want to bite her. wait. maybe not. she acts rotten, probably tastes and is as rotten too. grrr. *growls*

on to happier things once more!! grace [ho]!!! i am forever indebted to yoU!!!!! she helped me write the melody for this wonderful song... gosh.. it's so pretty!!!! it doesn't have lyrics, i'm supposed to fill it in, and now i'm really... wondering whether i should, even, whether it'll do the tune justice.

it's such a pretty song!!!!!!!!!!! even martin noticed it, and he was doing homework. T.T yes he was doing homework. YAHH.

wheeeeee~~~

*coughs*

o_O

oh dear.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:26 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, April 7, 2006:.
how you break my heart.
 three words:

just forget it.


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:57 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, April 6, 2006:.
bubbling budling bleeds black blood.

How Skary is YOUR journal?

watching a video of the last performance for TSD class we had, the one that i did with charlene + alison, with michelle as didaskalos [director]. yes, the video in which i got commendation for being a wonderful statue.

*stares at the video* gosh, i look like a ju-on kid.

on to other things. *laughs* you know i'm like damn weird lahz! watched FULLHOUSE disc 9. and cried my eyes out. stupid, weird, me.

the TSD acting assignment that we got today is quite fun. =) chiawyee's directing me... i'm Oedipus. =) i quite like the rhesis i'm doing. yayy yayy. =) "Money, Power, one..." ermz... one... sthsthsthsth. yes. >:3 that's it.

GRAH. ok must go memories rhesis lines. byebye. here's a pretty picture for y'all.

Image hosting by Photobucket

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:24 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, April 5, 2006:.
orh.
 FOR STUDENTS RAFFLES ROCK CONCERT TICKETS ARE ONLY $10, NOT TWELVE.

my bad.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:48 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, April 4, 2006:.
today's a good day.
 today is a good day. i'm like super tickled at almost everything that comes my way. mostly because i remembered the isabella thing. i guess if alison read this she'd probably be like, that's like how old already! but i'm still strangely tickled by it.

HAHAHHAAAA.

well well. =) maybe i'm feeling happy also because i finished the joint blog drawing for chunny. well. once it's up i'll inform you pple how about that. or maybe i'll just add it sneakily to my links list. and if you happen to stumble upon it good [or not so good] for you.

lying is going to become a culture for me i think. i lied today about going for band prac when actually i went to play pool with derrick-[I STILL INSIST I PWN!]-and won my very first attempt at hard-shots.. erps but personally i think i'm damn lousy lahz. but yupz. today was to make sure that i wasn't too out of practice. =)

*laughs like crazy* i just accidentally called charlene a hen. *laughs head off* omg i'm crazy i think.

ok lahz. shall go rest now.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:35 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, April 2, 2006:.
yes chunny they were two days old cookies.
 had quite a disturbing dream. but owell. =) shall not angst today. informally made myself a promise that i wouldn't bother all you people with these disturbing thoughts of a deranged mind. =) niwaez!! COURTROOM!!! stones pebbles rocks and boulders!! =) this will be on the 16TH APRIL at COGS!! =) if you wanna see me acting like a demon with demon makeup and all... yeah come... don't worry i'm not acting as an angel... if i did i know half the world would just vomit blood... so to spare everyone the discomfort, the organisers just fitted me into the role i did best--being myself. *cackles* nopez i'm just a demon, not the Devil. that's paul and he does a much better job at it than i ever would. =)

ok further advertisements! RafflesRock concert will be on the 21ST APRIL, 630- abt 8? HOWEVER, if you're not willing to spend the $12, listen to me first!! my band will be performing at the pre-concert performance.. in other words, the free one. which i'm still quite unhappy about because... oh well.. if you wanna find out my reasons you can just come ask me lahz. there's actually alot of things that i don't like about this performance... but yeah... i kinda railed about it before and maybe shall do it again if it happens again so no worries you guys didn't miss out on anything at all.

but yes. back to my main point, which was that PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME SUPPORT ME I REALLY NEED THE ENCOURAGEMENT... even though you'll probably go away thinking it was a waste of time... but yeah... just to tell you that i still hope i'll see some familiar faces in the crowd... kiez? =) love you all.

and go twin. please make him feel bad, make him feel guilty, hurt him, make him squirm, make him cry, make him sorry, make him beg, for mercy, or for death.. i'm not even sure if i want to deal the finishing blow. ask your friends for ideas on what you can do or sth. mention no names, darling. thanks so much. i'm counting on you for this.

to the rest, all my loves.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:03 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, April 1, 2006:.
oh please, spare me the hypocrisies.
 just because they're rich and all, doesn't mean you can tell them that they were brilliant, magnificent, stunning, ignoring the blatant fact that they were, indeed, utter

CRAP

somebody [xiang, i think] asked me why i'm always yelling on my blog. *laughs* i shall stop that then.

we would have your head on a stake.

spent after-school hours in orchard with charlene + mich neo... damn funny... kept laughing at all the loser stuff that each other did.. i think i have to look at the floor a little bit more now, i keep tripping over steps coz i didn't see them there. *laughs* but mich was worse!! *laughs head off* and she kept saying good thing wen loong wasn't there.. or else she'd never hear the end of it...

ah well. =) we shall watch V for Vendetta soon, kiez? =)

yeahh.. niwaez it's like really late.... still have to prepare the songs for tmr... well well then. =) see ya guys arnd. i'm doing fine. just tired. people tell me a look pale. o_O that can't be good. but i feel quite fine... except the fact that i always lapse back into lethargy after anything... ooh. giddy when i turn my head. lalalaaa. see ya. don't worry for me. =)) if i'm not, you shouldn't be.

ok tag replies... =) thnx ben for your concern... =) *laughs* i think i'm worrying alot of people. shall take that part off.

i'm not that unfair lahz, elisa. =) shall try not to be mean to the lookalike. but it's true, i do think he's kinda like that too..

to chunny, brownie or cookie, i still hope you enjoyed it. my mom wasn't too happy that i was giving you two-day-old cookies to eat but yeahh... it was yummy. and you're not like sick from it or anything rite.. *laughs* =) see ya arnd...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 12:16 a.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, March 30, 2006:.
erm. ahem. *poke poke* excuse me...
 i just wanna say sth.

I LOVE MY CLASS!!!!!! whooooo we rock!!!!! *laughs*

ok. now back to lit essay. *laughs* my lit teacher is damn funny!! this essay was given us the week before holidays started. and was due the first lesson back. we managed to get an extension till this week monday. and obviously, today's thursday and i still haven't done it. well everyone else who hadn't done it already has and handed it in today. so today when lesson was over and he was leaving, he held up the sheaf of paper and asked, "anyone else want to give me their essays?"

i put up my hand and asked, "can i send it to your email or something?"

he looked at me. "how come you can't give it to me in hard copy like now?"

"coz i... *voice becomes softer* haven't done it."

he stared at me. then he started to laugh. "well... that's rather irrefutable logic right... can you give it to me on paper by tomorrow?"

whooo. ahahahaaa. he damn funny. the things he says in class arh!! damn sadistic!! so heartless! like we were talking about Tragic plays right. then the main thing about Tragic plays is that you must have a Tragic Hero. one who fell from greatness of stature. then he went to pinpoint zhaofeng, who was sitting next to me and helping me out with the teacher's bombastic grammar: "zhaofeng, can you fall from grace? do you have the greatness of stature?"

zhaofeng was like, "OF COURSE!!"

ok lahz fine i say here not funny. hmph!! be that way.

then some more. "it's a tragedy when the hero was powerful and great in terms of morality, aesthetically, and potically. Macbeth was a tragic hero. would it be tragic if say..... a peasant. got run down by a cart? no right? it'd be just sad. and they must die tragically because of their fatal flaw. say for example the hero decides to do something bad finally and when he does start moving off to do it and he's crossing the road and he gets run down... would it be tragic? of course not."

weird rite. but keeps you amused. at least keep me amused. =)

ahh well. lit essay.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:40 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, March 27, 2006:.
edgy touchy getonmynervesy.
 there's something wrong with my mom today. a bad wind is blowing i think. currently she's agitated over my maid opening up all the dumpling wrappings--dumplings that are supposed to be for breakfast tomorrow. but that one cannot really blame her, the maid's quite stupid sometimes.

i hate it when she tries to wake me up. i mean, sure, i know she wants to wake me up so that i won't have trouble falling asleep at night. but the way she wakes me up is like incredibly rough. coz once you touch me i'll be half awake, but i'm the type who needs quite alot of time to wake fully and gather the discipline [and backbone] to actually get out of bed. and, i mean, superstition or no, nobody likes to be shocked out of sleep right? she says she's being very gentle, but it really seems to me that she's slapping me. and then she'll yank my arms or my legs and try to pull me off the bed. this wasn't the first time. i know some of you *looks at amanda* are probably laughing and thinking omg so cute. ok.. but try to put yourself in my shoes and it's not funny at all. everytime she does that to me, i'm in such a muddled state i just want to 放声大哭。 totally hate it.

still think it's funny? i try on you next time, how about that?

roarr.

the day generally went alrite. Dangerous situation some of you might want to mind would be leaving me and michelle neo to ourselves... there will be much laughter and much destruction. o_O come to think of it, Pepper Lunch is very very fortunate that we got out of there before we started getting SERIOUSLY high~! i mean, we actually silent-laughtered over a stupid thing like this::

talking about taking cab back to sch. but both of us don't have money. so i said, "we just take cab and then when we reach we say wait a moment and then leave him there."

then michelle, trying to be logical and practical, said, "but there are two of us. he'll keep one of us with him."

so i was like, "oh.. yeah hor..." *thinks for awhile* "then you just go off lahz. when you don't come back then i'll tell him i go look for you. then i also disappear."

i know! i know! don't go "erps rachel were you born in a corn field or handicapped, coz that is so LAME." but it was damn funny while we were stoning on a bench in taka, tired out after trying to find a present for sindhu. hrmz. eh what happened to the panadol.

yayyy~~~ a big big ARIGATOU KOSAIMASU!! to BiHong!!! =))) for helping me out with my TSD reading journal when i was desperate. =)))

niwaez chunny, i love the bracelet. damn chio. thnx loads!! =))

still angry at him. and wondering how long it will take for him to think about it and realise... shit it sometimes i hate him so much.. DAMMIT JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD, GET OUT OF MY LIFE WILL YOU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE GODDAMMIT!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

*sniffles*

*wipes eyes*

*sighs*

ok where in this freaking econs essay did i stop again...

and don't look at me like that, didn't your mother ever tell you i needed psychological help?

p.s. nahh i'm joking lahz. don't freak out. too much.

*extra information*:: [you might not want to read this, it's more just for me to vent]

Light up, light up
as if you have a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear...


 amanda offered me two free tix to this dance concert thing she was performing in. said she wanted me to watch it and steal steps for the dance. said come with one of my friends or sth.

and i was begging her not to give me the second ticket. the thing is... i couldn't think of a single person whom i'd want to go alone with me to watch it. everyone i thought of, has left me, one way or the other.

i still can't think of a person i'd ask. not a single one.

this is how alone i am.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:15 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, March 26, 2006:.
Mergers and Accusations by Eleanor Wong.
 i would like to watch this play. even though i'm not of legal age to watch it, most definitely, considering Singapore's crazy way of rating stuff. grr. i don't know why michelle [neo] felt like crying, but for me... this play reminded me. of things long past but still hurt when touched.

i don't know how i'm supposed to write a review on it now.

i'm really not supposed to be blogging.. but i guess i have to purge some emotion before i can start writing an objective analysis on the play lahz.

okok have to do work. maybe i'll continue later.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:30 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, March 25, 2006:.
doubt.
 ooh cool. more people are actually reading and tagging!! whoohoo. my blog's in season. *laughs* XD no lahz i don't know. ^_^ hello all~

which reminds me that i still have to check out yiwen's blog. i heard it's damn entertaining... then again on second thoughts, maybe i'll go look at it when i have more energy left to laugh.

totally DRUGGED.

which is why i think DOUBT is quite a good play. because it actually managed to make me keep my eyes open the entire time... i didn't have much time to doze off.

how come whenever have play discussions we always talk about the bad things? it didn't really help that we actually analysed and tore apart an extract of that play before... *laughs* but yeah.. had fun today.. ^_^ maybe not as much laughter as yesterday, but still, fun... ^_^ i love you all~~ rachel loves youuuuu~~~~

don't i sound like amanda?

oh great. i wanna go and sleep but i don't wanna go into the room coz my maid's in there. just not in a very up mood now. i'm drugged, remember? chiawyee heard it as "drunk". so in the end i had to say "drugged" with the "ed" pronounced. dunno how to get that special 'e' out so ... can't be bothered to go find out how either lahz. aiyah nevermind you. bahh.

manda hope you get well soon. <:(

i'm supposed to be doing my many reviews... but just don't know how to start. omg. i'm so dead. all this due monday. how. DIE.

shall go draw and doodle for the Spirits' Play. that is one DAMN HARD play to do. OMG. what's it doing on the reading list. i'll commit suicide. no wait i won't.

everyone's saying how they failed their play reviews. i think mine is so much worse that he doesn't even wanna bother giving it a grade. oh no. o_O

no xiang. i'm not going shopping. i'm drugged. i was about to lie down on the street and die. dear friend charlene abandoned me. wth.

hee. hi michelle. neo. ahahaaa. dyou know the show Lovers in Paris? i think hyeona is alot better than the rival girl in there. she's also alot better than the main girl in there. pooey to anyone who disagrees. FULLHOUSE ROCKS MY SOCKS AND BAEYONGJUN CAN KISS RAIN'S ASS MAN. whoo.

farquhar forever.

oh what was that? you wanted to sue? lemme say it again. FARQUHAR FOREVER. raffles is just some stupid bastard who stole the glory and the credit. poor farquhar.

i still like the thought that if the japanese hadn't been chased out of singapore we'd all be speaking japanese now. whoooooohoooo Gakuto-sama <33

just realised that if the statistics on Hyde that i read online were correct, then he's shorter than me. xDXDXD poor guy.

gah lemme angst.

GRRRRR. to a certain you: i know you don't come here to read anymore. you know sth? 'i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you... but i want to be free of you.' i cannot fathom why the hell i'm so upset just coz you forgot. you weren't the only one. i mean, sure, others who forgot upset me as well. but... i'm particularly affected by YOUR lack of ... what word can i use? attention? i don't know. nice to realise you don't care anymore.

--idiot me, stupid fool; how could you be so uncool? fall in love with someone who doesn't really care for you... it's so obscure.

EVERYONE GO WATCH DOUBT. the tix are 40.40. as in, forty dollars and forty cents. i almost typed sense. omg. i need sleep. stupid medicine. why did i take it. it was almost not worth it. but yes, as i was saying, WATCH IT. they can CRY!! omg. they can CRY!! love the movements all around... their expressions are really really realistic... they're really into their characters... ^_^ lovelovelove!! i lovelovelove the set and so do all the rest of my TSD class!! even though not all like the play very much. why am i giving a review here. nevermind. since i started already. you know you know you know there was this part where two of the characters were arguing. and then one of them was like heading for the door when the other said 'wait.' and there was this deafening silence, in which we realised that there had actually been this low humming sound that we hadn't really HEARD but found it missing after that one word. brilliant.

but the producer's face gets on my nerves. more so than the other time. ARGH. can't stand him. in general. but this was a really good play.

once upon a year gone she saw herself give in
every time she closed her eyes she saw what could have been
well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds when covers tucked in tight
funny when the bottom drops how she forgets to fight
to fight

and it's one more day in paradise
one more day in paradise

as darkness quickly steals the light that shined within her eyes
she slowly swallows all her fear and sues her mind with lies
well all she wants and all she needs are reasons to survive
a day in which the sun will take her artificial light
her light

and it's one more day in paradise
one more day in paradise
it's one more day in paradise
one last chance to feel alright
alright

don't pretend to hold it in just let it out
don't pretend to hold it in just push it out
don't you try to hold it in just let it out
don't you try to hold it in just
hold it in

one more day in paradise
one more day in paradise
it's one more day in paradise
one last chance to feel alright...

once upon a year gone by she saw herself give in
everytime she closed her eyes she saw what could have been...


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:24 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, March 24, 2006:.
understandeth thou the england t'which i spake?
 你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子……

yayy. thanks chunny for the lovely bracelet. ^_^ why do i always use the word "love" when it comes to talking about things that have to do with the anime "Loveless"?? it's like super.. ironic.

I FINISHED ONE MORE READING REVIEW. and another one waiting to be completed--costume design for Spirits Play. i have no idea who to analyse on, i have no idea how to direct it, so i guess i shall just make use of boring lessons to doodle... *laughs*

wahh i'm having damn alot of problem with my Never The Sinner play review. and i thought i had more to say about it than i did for Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men.

SIGH. a huge huge huge sigh.

*waves to rocky* hi if you're reading this. ^_^ yupz managed to keep my chin up today!! ^_^ laughed alot, me and my friend almost brought orchard crashing down. except when i went home in the bus, i think i nodded when i drifted into sleep. XDXD

IM DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!

and it shocks me that i actually feel sorry for the character Hyeona [is that how you spell it? i don't know i'm just going by what i hear] when she ended up with neither of them. *laughs* i know michelle neo is appalled.... i can just see her face...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:57 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, March 23, 2006:.
did you hear a scream of terror?
 if you did, don't worry, it was just zhaofeng's reaction when i tried to pull his ears. *laughs head off*

damn sleepy today, the entire day. but was still fun. heh. i love our TSD class! everyone's like damn fun. i love my class class! everyone's damn fun toO! ^^

why am i blogging this kinda shit?

owell... yesterday... was so funn.. *laughs* thnx to derrick. ^_^ tried so hard and then Escape Theme Park was closed. *laughs* nevermind. i enjoyed the ice cream. ^_^

and btw, he didn't get me a piglet like he was scaring me. he got me two hamsters. one of which bit my little finger today. it's like bleeding lahz. grr.

and then, when i saw them, i immediately thought of the very first part of this piece that chunny JUST wrote.. it's like a super fresh piece. lemme copy the first part here for you. and then you, like me, will be worried for the hamsters' life. because you DO know that Keary is the character fashioned after me. so....

Keary

In Grade 2, I sneaked home a hamster in my school bag. My friend’s hamster had miraculously spawned several and I’d snatched one immediately. It was a lovable little chap, smaller than my palm and immensely friendly. When I reached home, it was dead, smashed to pulp by my math textbook.

 worried now? indeed. so am i.

red herrings red herrings! XDXD Scarlet is my current favourite.

grr ok what else. i don't know. i really don't. just that carmen's arrows have very very sharp points. she kept using it to poke my leg. X|

anyway!! i'm quite happy. i sent The Young And The Hopeless to my online friend.. and she gave good comments!! yayy yayy~~ don't know whether i've posted it before, but owell, if i have then i'll just take it out again lahz. heh heh. so here's a bit more amusement than simply me talking about my stupid boring-for-you-to-hear but fun-for-me-to-live life. well. actually that second part there isn't right sometimes.. but owell!! enjoy, <33. also give feedback, if you're not too lazy to TAG!!

BTW, IT'S GUYXGUY CONTENT IF I DIDN'T MAKE MYSELF CLEAR. ok lahz but this one not so bad. yet.

---------


I opened my eyes to stare for a moment at the ceiling, or rather lack of it, above. Looking at the sky, I decided that it was still early, or rather, early enough, I supposed. I sat up – and the world reeled and spun, making my temples throb. That was way too much vodka last night. School… I groaned and flopped back down.
Just five more minutes…

By the time I got to school, the parade square was empty, and all the students were packed away in their jailce—their classrooms. I tried to recall which one was mine, to no avail.
I resorted to walking along the corridors and peering through every window to see if there was anyone I recognized. None. Sighing, I turned the corner…
… and almost bowled straight into Saruwatari sensei.
“Keary…-SAMA! What a pleasure to meet you… in SCHOOL, of all places…” the old woman’s every word was loaded with hostility thinly-veiled with false politeness.
“If you’re baring your teeth so uncomfortable for my sake, please, don’t bother. It’s not working,” I said, bowing to her mockingly. “Saruwatari sensei.”
A round woman, she was over-sixty-nearing-seventy, soon ready to be retired. Every time I met her I wished that it would come sooner. Her retirement, I mean. She wore jewellery galore, rings, necklace, earrings, and the clothes she wore were usually gaudy red, or pink or yellow… feminine colours, she called them. Representing the brightness of her blossoming spirit.
The brighter her blossoms, the more I withered.
Now, the rotund woman before me snapped her mouth closed, then opened it again to say, “Just look at yourself!”
“Oh, gladly.”
“Tell me what you see.”
“A gorgeous-looking bishounen with lustrous dark hair, as well as a sizzling-hot body all females tremble to behold,” I answered, bored to the bone.
She circled me. “Let me tell you what I see. I see a disrespectful young man clothed in black clothes. There is earth and dry grass on those clothes and in that dirty, lice-infested hair of his. He also wears a black choker that—“
“Sensei, are you a vulture? Stop circling me. I don’t think I’m going to be dying in front of you anytime soon, it would be doing you too great an honour, sensei…”
She stopped short, astonished and appalled that I should dare to interrupt her tirade. “You… You…” she sputtered.
“Yes, me, me…” she was so easy to infuriate that it wasn’t fun anymore.
“Saruwatari sensei?”
It was him. Cardin Rasheville. Golden hair pulled back to a tail behind his head, with large blue-black eyes and a pair of spectacles perched on the bridge of his nose, he came up to only my chin. His uniform was spotless and well-ironed—but what else did you expect? He was the perfect student, the one every teacher loved, begged to have the opportunity to teach. His pretty face was probably another reason they clamoured for him so. He couldn’t have been more different from me.
As could be said of his welcome from Saruwatari sensei.
“Rasheville-san!”
“Yes, sensei, I’m sorry I’m late, there was a council meeting… is anything the matter?”
“Indeed! This… hoodlum here has no regard whatsoever for our school rules! He saunters in after the bell has rung, not attired properly…“
Cardin Rasheville looked my way and caught me staring at him. Unlike others, he held my gaze and did not look away. Even though I took care not to let my facial expression change, I smiled inwardly. He really was one of a kind.
Finally, it was I who broke eye contact. Turning away, I called to them over my shoulder, “Well then, Saru-sensei, oops, I meant, Saruwatari sensei, I shall not linger long here. There are a lot more other people and places where I will be more warmly welcomed—“
“You! Where do you think you’re going?” she shrieked at me, even though I had just told her. “Come back here right this—!”
She was interrupted once more by a shrill voice that caused me to cringe and stop dead in my tracks. “STEEL-SAMA!”
Somebody please strike me down this moment, I begged silently.
The whole female population of the school must be here. I recognized their head… she had been the cause of a great deal of unrest for me ever since… well… forever.
Saruwatari sensei was apoplectic. “What—I repeat, WHAT are you girls doing out of class!”
“You were bullying Steel-sama!” and “Chasing him out of school when he comes so rarely already is a crime!” were the only two cries I heard clearly out of the rabble of high-pitched voices. Then they turned their attention to me.
“Steel-sama, do you remember me? I’m—” “We were together at—” “I thought I saw you the other day at—” “Can I have a lock of your hair?” “Just one kiss! Please! Just ONE!”...
“Girls! Back to your classes now!” So maybe Saruwatari sensei was going to be my saviour today after all.
“No! You’re depriving us of our eye-candy!”
I tried to get away from the throng of girls unnoticed, when I heard Saruwatari sensei shriek: “Just look at his hair, so messy and all over the place, the back is far too long for a boy—”
Automatically, I spun around just in time to catch her hand, which was just about to grab a lock of my hair. For good measure, I gave it a slight twist. “Don’t you even think about it,” I told her quietly.
There was a stunned silence, and I noticed Cardin Rasheville was still present, only a few steps away, blue eyes wide with apprehension.
Then one of the girls fell into her friends’ arms, sighing dramatically: “Steel-sama, I want to bear your children!” It was answered by several renditions of: “I want to bear his children too!” They started forward.
I dropped The Saru’s hand and fled for my life.
Somewhere along the course of this mass run, I found Cardin Rasheville beside me. “Hello,” he glanced at me, keeping up easily. Of course—I wasn’t at full speed yet. Then again, neither was he.
“Shouldn’t you be in class?” I asked mockingly.
“The way was blocked, didn’t you notice? I’d be trampled to death.”
“Think they’ll trample over each other or themselves?”
“Dream on. I highly doubt it.”
“There he is!” a scream came. Immediately we turned into a stairwell and started up, taking the steps three in a stride. When we finally reached the roof, we were both panting.
“They’re coming up the stairs.”
I looked around. There was no escape but a four storey drop with nothing but hard stone below.
“What’ll they do to us?” Rasheville whispered as they came nearer.
“Don’t know, don’t care to know,” I said carelessly. The first handful popped their heads around the door, and informed their lagging companions that we were here. “Well. Good luck to you. Ladies.” I gave them a two-finger salute and leaped lightly off the parapet, leaving the gasps and screams behind me.
The wind blasted through my hair and in my ears, and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and relaxing my entire body. There was barely enough time to enjoy the free fall before I reached the ground.
I landed, crouched like a cat, feeling hardly any impact at all. The key to this whole superhuman feat was in getting your body to relax. Getting to my feet, I looked up.
My pursuers looked extremely awed, and extremely disappointed. There was a collective sigh, and then they turned as one on Cardin Rasheville.
He started to back away, then made a dash for the stairwell door.
I laughed as the whole throng disappeared after him. Goody-Two-Shoes was going to be late for class today. Meanwhile, I returned to playing my old game of truancy.

I looked into the darkness of the empty garage. Figures shifted—they had arrived. Finally. I stretched, closing my eyes.
“Let’s see who’s here. Tec.”
The boy stepped out of the shadows into the light cast by the lone bulb, twirling his long waterfall of hair in his fingers. “Steel.”
“DJ.”
A slight toss of her head and she came, eyes and hair even blacker than the dark. “Steel.”
“Snake. Joker.”
They came at call, responding to their street names, Snake’s green eyes glinting and Joker materializing beside me with his usual grin. “Steel.”
“Wire.”
“Here, Steel.”
Wire stepped into the light, surrounded by unfamiliar sullen faces.
“Introduce your pals there, Wire.” I tilted my head and glanced at them. Young punks, even younger than myself. They stood about Wire, looking as dangerous as they could. They didn’t alarm me, but Wire seemed to be in a rather tight spot.
“They waylaid me during dinner at the ramen store. They wanted to see my boss.” She spoke carelessly, showing that there was no threat.
“And you couldn’t tell them ‘no’ on my behalf?”
She gave a sigh. “I wanted to let them meet you. The great Steel. Not that meeting me wasn’t enough privilege already.”
“Cut the crap,” the tallest one of them growled. “Let’s see how tough they are against us!” A rock flew towards my face.
“Charming.” I caught it calmly. “Let’s welcome our guests then, shall we…” I turned to my gang, then flung the rock high into the air. And the fight began.
We were outnumbered, but it didn’t matter. All of my gang were fighters to the core, every single one of them, even DJ, who seemed every bit the innocent little girl. Snake and Joker already had about ten down each. Wire had been the first to move, whipping as many of her captors as possible. Whereas Tec hardly moved, jabbing them with his tec-pen. They were my army. They were enough.
“My god…” I yawned, elbowing the face of an opponent with a crunch. “Who did you say your leader was again? How disgraceful.”
There came a roar, and large arms hooked mine, yanking me off the ground so I couldn’t move. No matter. I raised an eyebrow as another came charging at me. No way. I waited till he was just close enough, then kicked down onto him, using him as a step, leaping high into the air. I did a somersault, and kicked the head of the large fellow who had carried me. He fell heavily, unconscious. There came a yell behind me and I spun to meet him, when suddenly he collapsed at my feet.
I looked up and saw Cardin Rasheville staring up at me through his fair hair, with a smile on his face and a spanner in his hand.
“Ciel.” I returned the smile, slipping my hands into my pocket. “You’re late.”

I leaned back with my hand behind my head. “You people have one minute to explain why you left your gang leader to camp in the outdoors last night. Starting, now.”
There were groans. “Nehh, Keary—“ Neiji [Joker] started. “Steel.” I pierced him with my eyes.
“Steel then,” he continued. “You were drinking last night.”
“I remember that.”
“Heavily,” Miyu [Wire] added.
“You were drunk,” Mikan [Tec] explained.
“VERY drunk…” Kumiko [DJ] murmured.
“I remember Cardin here was drunk right along with me. Pray tell how he got home then,” I said icily.
“See, Keary, when Cardin gets drunk—”
“—he goes to sleep.”
“But when YOU get drunk, you get—”
“—extremely violent! Lookit this!” Neiji lifted his shirt to show the large bruise on his stomach.
I stared at it impassively, then laughed. “Ok, fine, whatever.” I got up. “I’m heading back home then. Rest up guys. Neiji… well. You had it coming.”
He winced, but grinned, “You honour me with your blows, Steel-sama…”
“Save it. I’ve had enough of that today.” I shuddered, remembering the girls at school.
“I’m sorry, Keary,” Cardin said as he caught up with me on the way home.
I frowned at him. “What are you apologising for? Baka.” I tugged his ponytail. “I’m surprised you could get up this morning. Did you have a headache?”
“A little… I thought hangovers were worse?”
“I thought so too. Anyway, I’m glad.” I unlocked the door.
“That I had a headache?” He looked grieved.
I held his chin, tilting his face toward mine. “Glad about everything about you, my heaven-sent Ciel.” I kissed him on the mouth, then stepped into the house that we shared.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:07 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, March 21, 2006:.
Run.
 just cut my hair. i'm probably never going to leave it long again, unless sth happens that makes me want to, i guess.

每个人……都离我远去

i really just don't know what to do lahz. i hope that, whatever was said last night, we'll still be friends no matter what. even though i like cried my eyes out after signing out... silly eh? i feel like the stupidest person in the world. but like it or not, i'm still your sister. in Christ.

每个人……都离我远去

it's like in that play that lestari's group was acting today.. wanted to cry again lahz.

owell. it's over. it doesn't matter anyway. que sera sera...

-keary

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:41 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, March 20, 2006:.
a year ago today... i was sixteen.
 what a way to spend a birthday.

after school i rushed to somerset and found my way to where my mom was waiting for me at Mushroom Pot. had quite a huge lunch there, and then, found out that my mother hadn't driven the car down... so had to take train back.. got caught in the rain.. but still quite happy..

then sat down and did my Macbeth reading journal entry... i managed to finish Antigone and 6 characters in school. yayy i'm so proud of you rachel!!

and then i just found out that they were only due next week. got an extension.

owell. heh heh. i'm still quite happy. I LOVE EVERYONE TODAY!!! ESPECIALLY EVERYONE WHO REMEMBERED *coughs at tim and some others* BUT STILL I LOVE YOU ALL!!! YAYY!! AREN'T YOU HAPPY TOO!??? RACHEL LOVES YOOOOOUUU!!!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ except sallywong, i'm just bitching about her to ruoting, whose birthday is ALSO today. yupz.

niwaez.. happiness wasn't very complete lahz... was quite hurt yesterday... and today, when i was sitting in the canteen trying to do my reviews... then who else but The Lookalike had to come and sit at the table opposite me, and sitting facing me some more.. if i didn't know better i'd say he was doing it to irritate me... but it really got me down, coz The Lookalike reminded me of someone else... someone whom i was really hoping to hear from... someone who i was really hoping would remember, of all people... BUT HE DIDN'T.

owell... i guess you can't stop people from drifting apart... but i thought, that if you were closer, it wouldn't happen so easily... but... owell.........

so that was the only sad thing today.. there was alot more good! alot more! like... i managed to make derrick laugh his anger off with one sms and a smiley. ^_^ 不愧是我！ heh heh.

oh yayyness one of my US correspondents has replied. XDXD make me sound so... CONNECTED. deceptively. heh heh. ok i have nothing much else to say rite now... i think i did have some funny stories before!! but i've clean forgotten! owell. ^_^ see you all around and once more THANK YOU ALL. simply for being my friends. God bless~

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:01 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, March 16, 2006:.
Ronin - One More Moment
Don't take too long to say
I love you to the ones you love
Cause time has a habit of slipping away
And out on a clear blue sky
When lightning strikes on a sunny day
Just take me in and keep me from the rain

And the words that seem so hard so say
Come out when you've gone away
Just stay a little while and hear me say

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment with you

Turn away to say goodbye
With each and every word that passes by
Like a distant memory

And time keeps slipping away
And time will turn to grey
And time will be the one who holds you down

And the words that seem so hard so say
Come out when you've gone away
Just stay a little while and hear me say

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment with you

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment with you

Sometimes time will treat you bad
Before you even know what's wrong
And in the end it hits you hard
Please tell me you'll be strong..

Sometimes time will treat you bad
Before you even know what's wrong
And in the end it hits you hard
Please tell me you'll be strong..



.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 01:03 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, March 15, 2006:.
Michiyuki
 managed to get the piano score for that... absolutely beautiful. except that i can't play the instrumental part well... oops.

ok! so. well. what's up with me? i'm stuck on Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men's review again. DIE. haven't passed it up.. maybe i should try Never The Sinner instead.

talking about Never the Sinner... guess what people? *whispers* i've watched Brokeback Mountain.

ahahahahhaaa... ok lahz.. no big deal right... half of you are probably thinking that, the other half is probably screaming at the computer screen: OMG RACHEL!! HOW COULD YOU HOW COULD YOU HOW COULD YOU [NOT CALL ME ALONG TO WATCH]!!!! aahahahahah. owell.

what i think of it arh? well. they mumble alot. and well, there IS a reason why it's rated R21... even though s'poer is like damn strict lahz... 21... in Aussie it's like 17? i forgot. dawn just told me.

but it's kinda stumbling lahz. thanks to... who... newspaper reviews... and paul ho.. ahahah.. for telling me not to watch... so... you kinda mentally prepare yourself... for what's going to come. and then it doesn't affect you so much. alison doesn't like the movie. coz they keep mumbling, and then they have the texas accent, so it's quite hard to hear what they're saying sometimes.

yeah. liddat lorz. what else is there to say about it. liddat lorz. i don't think that the two of them are THAT good-looking... they're like... liddat lorz. yeah lorz. *stones* nth much lahz. you wanna watch it then... tell me... i'll see whether i can copy for you anot lorz... liddat lorz... but not if you're going to immature about it. >:3

junhao just signed in. "God loves the sinner, hates the sin." how apt. just on time.

ok. well. moving on to another topic. what. OH YES. went bt timah plaza today and got my electric guitar~~~~~ <3<3<3. long-awaited. $400 for a lovely black Ibanez, along with amp and strap and cable and tuner and picks and bag and stuff... heh.. it's quite cool. and yesterday, i finally got down to changing the strings of the acoustic guitar. which is also an Ibanez, just for your information.

been playing piano quite alot these few days. also actually practicing what the teacher told me to practice XD. yeah usually i just play whatever i want, usually anime songs like Melodies of Life and Scarlet etc etc etc.

now i'm fiddling with tripod.com. wth. is. happening. here??

oh. made a new friend. this 14-year-old girl who happens to be called Rachel. yeah.. was reading her fic on Quizilla.com and just emailed her to find out what happened and critic a bit. yupz. friendly gurl... damn funny.. she's like 14 but then she had to rate her story mature 18... *laughs head off* but yeah. liddat lorz. then now, i'm like wondering whether i should post my stuff up as well. or would people jsut be too traumatised after reading about the kind of things and ideas and characters that waltz around in my head? what you've been reading on my blog entries so far have been EXTREMELY MILD. i tone it down for you guys. but if you're to read stories that i write, then... well... i can't really protect you as much then. because. well. that's just the way it is.

so, what'll it be?

and like very few people come here now lehz. heh. i'm SOO one to talk. i hardly visit other people's blogs anyway. so sorry people. but i have confessed before on my self-centredness.

hrmz. i think i'll go jang on my electric a little more before it gets TOO late. or maybe it's ALREADY too late.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:21 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, March 9, 2006:.
Yet I'll not shed her blood; Nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow, And smooth as monumental alabaster.
 hrmz... quite alot of things happened today... shall list them out... wonder if i can even remember all of them... this bad memory is getting very terrible, i must do something about it...

1. i came across chunny's friend alaris [charmaine] in the toilet before i went in to math class.
2. i found out, thanks to dearest classmates shawn chua and sindhura, that my teacher is gay.

i suppose there must be more, but unfortunately, after recalling this particular incident, my train of thought cannot be convinced by any means to divert from this point. sigh. TSD will never be the same again.

oh also, michelle + alison + sindhura were scaring shawn about the lit trip... damn funny!! they were talking about yiwen... and his confusion as to his sexual orientation... and talking about bunking and stuff... quite funny actually.

oh also, get a load of shawn's phone!! i want to laugh till my teeth fall out... which really would be a relief, actually, for they hurt quite badly right at the moment... came back some time ago from the dentist's... I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT GUY WAS DOING TO MY TEETH THEY HURT THEY HURT THEY HURT THEY HURT MOMMY THEY HURT..

looking forward to reading new books! for the holiday... but come on!!! it's not june hols know!!! the teachers seem to think so. but no, it's actually just one week. i have a feeling i will be in deep shit when i prepare to go back to school. have to refrain from using the computer as much as possible. this is terrible.

what else. aiyah. dunno what else lahz. this is a stupid post. why do i always post when there's nothing to post and nobody reading anyway? i don't konw. just in case there is i guess. *laughs* junhao kor i hope you're feeling better. heh. ^_^

what else. hello caleb my fellow pig even though i highly doubt you've been reading my last ten greetings anyway... hrmz.. hello everyone else.. joel pang... gerald... everyone else.... hello.... mina-san... ^_^ i have to go soon i think. ^_^

3. i got hiccups as soon as i got onto the bus and couldn't stop them because i had already finished all the water in my water bottle because it likes to leak. it leaked on my skirt this morning during lit lesson... when i was playing on....
4. carmen's wonderfully beautiful black acoustic guitar. omg i want to kidnap it. guitar-nap it. whatever.
5. God i hate that bottle

6. i'm like adding things as i remember them while mugging for the lit grammar test tomorrow. dang. oh yeah niwaez, point six is this: candice and some others [not very sure who, i think melissa lim was involved, olives was screaming at her over the phone at one point of time...] but yeah... they printed out this silly picture of olives that candice took during the hongkong trip... she really looks damn gong... they printed it out, and then they pasted it on some pillar near the canteen entrance. DAMN FUNNY. alison suddenly spotted it, pointed and went " omg what's that!!!" and then everyone turned to look and suddenly olives went "OMG!!!" and scrambled to rip it off. and then, just when she wanted to call and scream at the suspects, culprits, friends, whatever... HER PHONE RAN OUT OF BATTERY. and then she transferred her sim card over to alison's spare phone and then she didn't know how to operate the other phone. diao. she damn funny.
,br> the culprits should've like written "call me" and then put olives' phone number or sth. *laughs* then she can make so many new friends....................... *lho*

will add more later if i remember anything else. sure have lahz. i think.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:04 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, March 8, 2006:.
Such Sweet Sorrow by Haresh Sharma
 [The Twins appear]
bro: On 8 July 2003, conjoined twins Ladan Bijani...
sis: ... and Laleh Bijani...
bro: ... died during an operation to separate their heads.
sis: They were 29 years old.
[pause]

bro: Your turn!
sis: No, your turn!!
bro: No!! your turn!!
BOTH: Ok, my turn!!
[They laugh]

sis: When i see the sky i think of you, i think of what you look like
bro: i look like you. you look like me. we're the same!
sis: when i close my eyes, i think of you
bro: don't close your eyes
sis: when i look into the river i see you
bro: don't look into the river

sis: Your turn!
bro: no! your turn!
[they laugh. they play 'set set set' to the following rhyme]

both: we are brother and sister
sis: i love him
bro: and i love her
both: mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror
call my name and i will answer.

bro: YOU LOSE!!
sis: NO!! you lose!!
bro: No!! you lose!!
[they laugh]

sis: let's play pretend!
bro: pretend we're dead!
[they fall]
sis: pretend we're happy!
[they get up, stretch out their arms and smile]
bro: pretend we're separated!
[they try to separate themselves from each other. they laugh]

bro: catch me
sis: i can't!
bro: catch me!!
sis: i can't!!
bro: run faster!!
sis: i'm running!!
bro: faster!
sis: no!
bro: faster!!
sis: no!!
bro: faster!!
[sister suddenly has an anxiety attack - she is breathing quickly and crying at the same time]
sis: i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared.
[she wails]
[silence]
bro: shhh.... we don't have to do this. we don't have to do this.
[pause]
sis: I want to see you. I want to stand in front of you, hold your hands... and look at you. Hand in hand; face to face. When i see you, I will finally see me. [slight pause] I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. [slight pause] But I want to be free of you...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:15 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, March 7, 2006:.
Dracula.
 been reading the book the whole day. ^_^ even with a two to three hour break in between the day [which started at 11am for me] during which i played pool with gerald + juan + john, and later derrick, i was reading it most of the time. ^_^ more than halfway through already! considering that it's a book that comes in like journal form... which really turns me off, actually, it's really very interesting!! ^_^ maybe coz i have a obsession with vampires. it infuriates me that they're not realy talking about the vampire, but the problems that they have after he does what all vampires do.

there's a vampire plot simmering in my head. really wanna get it out and onto paper. maybe i'll post it here! ^_^ then y'all must give feedback. but things have yet to happen.

what else. oh yeah. nothing much lorz. except that i came across this, while searching for more information on wikipedia.com... amused me quite a bit!!!

Old folklore from Eastern Europe suggests that many vampires suffered from a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, being fascinated with counting. Millet or poppy seeds were placed on the ground at the gravesite of a presumed vampire, in order to keep the vampire occupied all night counting. Chinese myths about vampires also state that if a vampire comes across a sack of rice, s/he will have to count all of the grains. Aside from the Muppet character of Count von Count on television's Sesame Street, this characteristic seems to have largely disappeared from popular culture.

obsessive compulsive... *laughs head off* *wipes tears from eyes* owell... heh... that's something funny to think about.

well. since this is a relatively boring post.... even if you share my obsession with this particular category of the undead, which i really don't believe exist, just that i like the idea of... maybe i wouldn't if they really did exist, but there, they don't, except in imagination... they work pretty well there. so. i came across this rather old email that i got sometime ago, a forwarded one... yupz. ^_^ hope it amuses you.

and yes, to all who are worried and caring, i am better! much. the gloom of pms has passed. i thought it never would.

Men and women are so different

. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants; a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband; a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend; a >successful woman is one who can find such a man.

. To he happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little; to be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

. Any married man should forget his mistakes-there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't; a man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

. A woman has the last word in any argument; anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after.


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:24 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, March 6, 2006:.
antique cafe.
 ooh. came across two of their music videos today. quite cool. japanese punk band, made out of four people. three are guys, and there's only one girl... who's their guitarist. quite funky.

and so things are finally starting to look up after venting emotions yesterday. what was the term for it? cathartic.

thinking back, i think the funniest thing that happened to me all week was on friday, after Rock auditions, when i went to ben low's house for the guitar cum bass sessions. since it was already so late, ben called one of the twins to buy dinner for me and himself and tim, who was coming from work.

so what did they buy? packeted economic rice, had... what arh. veggie, chicken, and potato, with curry sauce all over. or was it from the chicken? dunno lahz, but it was damn nice. yupz. beggars can't be choosers and i was starved.

then i looked over at tim and he'd picked all the potato and put it aside. then i'm like, "WTH!! you don't eat potato???"

and he said, "HUh you mean that's POTATO???!!! i was thinking why they put damn alot of ginger!"

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:23 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, March 4, 2006:.
fall to pieces.
 why do we never get to say goodbye properly?

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you

You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything

I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

--avril lavigne.


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:30 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, March 2, 2006:.
pride and prejudice.
 in frank, i quite hated it, and am so glad that i didn't waste money watching it. and glad that nobody tempted me to waste money watching it with them either. i'm talking about the movie Pride and Prejudice, the Keira Knightley version. the basic plot and story IS there. but there were so many nothing scenes. like scenes that would last two to three minutes of her walking over this field to nowhere in particular. and it's not like the camera focused in on her facial expression, she was just this moving block in the scenery. ok, she's quite photogenic, picturesque, but.... ermz..... not to my liking.

owell. after these few days of resting and slacking at home, i guess it'll be back to school tomorrow. of all days, when my schedule is a big big mess. i have a TSD reading clashing with Rock auditions. i think. we've only prepared one song, Avril Lavigne's Nobody's Home, and i haven't exactly memorised the lyrics just yet. or kinda have, but kinda always forget it as well.

well. we'll see how i guess.

haiz. i guess the right word to use wouldn't be 'tired', since i've been slacking at home for the past three days, feeling slightly off.

weary.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:47 p.m.:.
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.:Saturday, February 25, 2006:.
of how God works.
 only one word:

WOW.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:20 a.m.:.
...
.:Friday, February 24, 2006:.
PWN!
 heh heh. thrashed derrick at pool today 10-5. cool~

getting better!! YES~!!!

wah lau damn irritated. parent just came back from their bintan three-day holiday today and then the first thing my mom talks to me about is money issues. WTH rite. sheesh. ok, dun really wanna talk about it.

basically.. i really hate it when people ask me how school's going. because i feel so stupid saying "so-so". but it's truly that way. i would say it sucks, but it doesn't, not quite, i have enough fun there to eliminate that. but i can't say that i'm having LOADS of fun either. i feel quite... i don't konw. just off. feels off. it's just the entire thing, can't quite place a finger on it.

yeahh... what can i say. recently, i'm happiest playing pool.

super irritated also at the fact that band practices are SO NOT HAPPENING. like wth man. wthwthwth. i have nth else to say to that lorz. just i wonder, sometimes, what i'm doing.

to be totally honest, and also to put you on your guard, since you're reading this to know more about me........................ sometimes, HUMANITY JUST MAKES ME ILL. i just........ if you catch me in that mood, i have to say in advance, sorry, because while i'm baring my teeth at you in what you think is a smile..... i'm sorry to say, it's probably a grimace. and i dun think you'd like to know the things that run through my head at that point of time, things that will disappear as soon as you walk away, and re-direct themselves at the next person.

sad eh. i don't know why i'm so disturbed. and i don't know whether it's going to get worse. perhaps it will. so disturbed.

what the hell. this was meant to be a happy blog entry.

forgive me. one can't write a very happy blog entry when one is tired and wanting sleep.

ok. lemme talk about some random thing.

after pooling we went to KAP to eat some fries... i mean, i know carmen already told me those things only rot after 30 days, but yeah, my toes and feet were cramping up really badly... i needed the salt quite badly. ^_^

so like while we were sitting there..... oh yeah chunny i hope you're reading this, but knowing you and your busy schedule, i know you probably aren't... but yeah... while we were sitting there this group of japanese kids came in... ok maybe i shouldn't say kids, but i think they were like a few years younger than me lahz. big group. then suddenly at the back was this much shorter angmoh kid, who was obviously with them lahz. he didn't speak though, so i dunno whether he's like japanese as well.

so yeah. sitting there. then after awhile, one of the japanese guys and this angmoh boy come up the stairs again, and they're like ... i dunno lahz. nonono nothing gross. but just like disturbing each other lahz. dunno how to describe. the japanese boy was about a head taller.

i looked at them walk past, and started laughing. derrick poked me coz he thought i was laughing at him because of nothing. then i commented that it'd be really hilarious if the angmoh boy was half french. i mean, don't you all who know what i'm talking about think so as well? and even better!! if the japanese boy had silver eyes........ *laughs* oh well. guess we can't always see our dreams come true. even less see our alter-ego/created character come to life. it would just be freaky. it just wouldn't happen. except in your dreams.

oh well. really sleepy. hope things will go right, of course. need a break.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:35 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, February 23, 2006:.
A Better Resurrection by Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)
 i never knew a lit lesson on Victorian Poetry could have so much meaning to me.

I have no wit, no words, no tears;
My heart within me like a stone
Is numbed too much for hopes or fears.
Look right, look left, I dwell alone;
I lift mine eyes, but dimmed with grief
No everlasting hills i see;
My life is in the falling leaf;
O Jesus, quicken me.

My life is like a faded leaf,
My harvest dwindled to a husk:
Truly my life is void and brief
And tedious in the barren dusk;
My life is a like a frozen thing,
No bud nor greenness can I see:
Yet rise it shall--the sap of spring;
O Jesus, rise in me.

My life is like a broken bowl,
A broken bowl that cannot hold
One drop of water for my soul
Or cordial in the searching cold;
Cast in the fire the perished thing;
Melt and remould it, till it be
A royal cup for Him, my King:
O Jesus, drink of me.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:10 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, February 20, 2006:.
it's a happy day, i thank God for the weather!
 RACHEL IS OFFICIALLY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

coz she played like, what, five hours of pool today! *laughs head off* yeah. even though i'm like really lousy. and probably pissed pro-ded people like joel pang off... well... i did pretty well for the first few rounds! ^_^ heh heh heh...

ok.. who i went with huh... went Lucky Plaza's mambo pool with joel pang + derrick + gerald + yanleen. gerald + yanleen left quite early, coz gerald had to be in church to give martin drumming lessons, and then after awhile we had a surprise guest--ryuta came down to look see. heh. well well.

on the way home on the bus i just fell asleep. just like that. and then woke up halfway when we were passing the YMCA and panicked coz i didn't quite recognise where i was at.... but yeah... then when i realised where i was, i just fell asleep again. happened about three times, until i reached the stop before my stop. yupz. sigh. then on the second bus, while i was trying to wake up... so it's like stoning stoning... check hand phone... put it back... and then the moment i zipped up my bag the phone started ringing.

then got interrogated by mom.

being in my half-asleep/half-awake condition, my muddled [and rather slow] brain couldn't churn up any excuse or whatever. and besides, i really do feel bad lying. i mean all those grandmother stories they tell you.... i mean, i DO have a conscience kiez. not that willing to kill it off anytime soon either.

so yeah. told her the truth. and was just mumbling and stuff. and then when i got home she continued about not wanting me to squander my money away on things like pool and not wanting me to be in that type of places so much and i was like "......." stuffing food into my mouth coz i didn't eat lunch.

oh yeah. yesterday only had one meal. fish and chips after church. that was my breakfast, lunch and dinner. what's that make? briunner. perhaps. looks like some german word or sth.

owell. i think that's about it for today.

another thing that's making me happy is that someone's actually TALKING to me online.. instead of just giving me half-hearted monosyllabic responses... which i really hate... and makes me hate myself for hating it and him as well... but yeah... it's a happy day... and i couldn't thank God more for the weather.

and for my friends and family.

love you all!!! hugs and kisses!!!!!!!!!!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:31 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, February 19, 2006:.
just nothin.
 heh heh. dunno why i'm here. i just felt like blogging. and telling everyone that i love you so much. ^_^

and to remind you to drop a note here when you actually do visit. instead of being unnoticed visitors. ^_^ see ya!~~

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:33 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, February 17, 2006:.
all that glitters is not gold.
 well. i thought it would turn out to be a good day. after playing a few hours of pool, improving a little bit, and having fun, and then playing in the rain while walking to the bus stop, then meeting chunny on the bus and all. but no. family has to spoil it by just being slow and ... i don't know, they just don't seem to care, some how! like they were supposed to go to the handphone shop. closes at 9. they set out from the house when? 845.

WTH.

it's damn irritating lahz, when you have to live all your life with people like that. even more irritating when they won't listen. even when we left so late already, they were still sauntering slowly, and like talking... i don't know how the hell marcus talks, can, he's like forever shouting over a crowd, i dunno why the hell he can't just shut up sometimes.. he's super obsessive about the computer... can't stand it lahz. super irritant.

GAH.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:45 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, February 10, 2006:.
in sooth i know not why i am so sad...
 just finished watching Merchant of Venice... dun ask me what version, i dun even know if there's another version. strangely, i just feel like crying.

it's a really good movie, the acting is good, everything else, and i love it that they used Shakespearan, but managed to use body language and stuff to bring across the meaning. not to mention it was DVD so the subtitles helped us quite alot. or else i'm quite sure we wouldn't understand it as well, but still.

i think i love it. that and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are like on my Top Favourite Movies list now... so cool.

people, go try and find it. oh shux! i forgot. there was partial nudity... it was quite gross lahz.... basically when the venue was the brothel or whatever you call it lahz... yucks. damn sick. but yeah... get the censored version or whatever lahz.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:49 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, February 9, 2006:.
hope they make it. hope she don't.
 ARGHS MY ARM DAMN HURTS CAN.

FRUSTRATION! why's money always a problem. sigh. owell.

today after school went to novena to meet dawn again... yeahh... heh. well. then outside United Square there was this tv filming going on.... damn irritating... they keep telling people to get out of the way.... then got terencecao and dunno who and dunno who and dunno who whatever lahz their makeup damn pretty yah lahz yah lahz.

actually i should go sleep now lahz. damn tired.

haiz. ok. what else today.

oh gosh oh gosh. just read about this up-coming gay show. as in not like "that's so gay!" kinda show. it's a really "omg they're really fags!" kinda show. but seemingly it's a total tear-inducer. heh. yeah. owell. rating yet to be decided... sadly, there's a sex scene, so i'm not very hopeful.... probably end up as m18 lahz. r21. wth. wthwthwth.

nevermind. who wants to play pool.

oh yeah niwaez seemingly it's based on a book.

well niwaez last night watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... and it is so NOT "omg JOHNNY DEPP'S DAMN CUTEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" kinda show, it's a damn twisted, damn warped, damn got alot of literary value and underlying messages screaming out at you if you know how to see it in every single scene kinda show. and YES johnny depp is a brilliant actor, the best for that kind of role, he did it perfectly, he's the best of the best............... but i finished the show feeling really really really really really times infinite DISTURBED.

creepy.

lit students would probably see what i'm talking about. if you don't take lit and you could see what i'm talking about, all the underlying stuff, then, by golly you should be taking lit what are you doing not taking lit. eh? ahahahaha... but yeah. i dunno whether i'll be able to explain to you, maybe i'll write an essay or a guidebook to it and then you people can go ahead and buy it and make my day and contribute to krayle donation non-profitable charitable organisation fund. yes. golden taps. ahahahah wthwthwth.

i dun think i'm making sense today.

today!!! i messaged less. yayyy. made me feel good that i'm preserving my phone battery, but also made me feel quite.... hrmz ok never mind.

everyone not from the raffles schools are feeling jittery about tomorrow. ahahaha. my lit paper one teacher v good. he ended lesson after continuing it for fifteen extra minutes because we couldn't hear the bell from where our classroom was, and then suddenly he popped his head back into the classroom and said stuff like, "who are the ones going back to take their o levels? i mean the ones whose lives are at stake and not over some frivolity like higher chinese." then after that, he was like, "ok, sincerely all the best, hope you don't end up a bloody puddle at the bottom of a high building..." that particular lit teacher is damn funny lahz. "i wore sleepers to the bitch." and then he was giving some example about sentence structure and stuff, and then his example was: "so in shakespearan, instead of saying 'mother... took... the cat...... out of the microwave...', you would instead say, 'mother taketh the cat fro the microwave oven'". and yeah, he goes around saying this kind of stuff. quite irritating if you're in a bad mood, really amusing if you're in a neutral or good mood.

I WANT MY BEAUTY SLEEP.

and hello all who come visit this increasingly-miserable blog, those who tag and those who don't.... hello joel, i know you're one of those who don't.... sigh. anonymous readers. TAG LAHZ LAZY ASSES. ahahaha oops i think i just lost a handful of readers with those four words.

OH. YAH. FORGOT.

hello caleb my fellow pig!!!!!!

can someone kindly go inform him that that sentence is there. thanks.

hrmz. i'm damn bored. somebody come play pool with me. don't embarrass me too badly please.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:28 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, February 6, 2006:.
obsession about vampires.
 hohoho. so. i totally wiped out my this week's new allowance today. really really. i'm dead lorz i tell you. don't konw how i'm going to survive the week. ahahahaha... coz i went to meet dawn at Bakerzin at novena... blehz. but it was really good to see her again. ahahahaha.. all the stupid funny stuff we did.... when i get pictures i'll post them quick. ^_^ or, at least, when my other computer is fixed lahz.. using the old one now... always in danger of hanging, dunno what the hell is wrong with it.

oh yeah.. the temporary MIA of my newer computer also means that i am unable to watch the DVD that chunny lent me... darn!! i so wanted to watch loveless... shall watch now! hopefully still can load fast enough... hopefully....

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 07:55 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, February 2, 2006:.
how stupid can i get.
 well dinner's going to be out any second... gonna try to rush at least a bit. ^_^ well niwaez. Keary and Cardin seem to be missed. i'm trying to get back on track, i don't know about chunny, last i heard she told me she was going to give me a picture of bishy Kear... so... yeahh... what could i say to that? but i don't quite like this hiatus being so long either.. so! ganbatte-neh, krayle!!!

okok. havehavehave to tell you all about how stupid i am. yeah. have to tell you. other than always telling you how good i am, i also have to tell you when i chuchou, so that people will not be able to accuse me of being whatever~ ahahahaa... and also to give you all a good laugh... we all need one once in awhile... oh dinner's out, give me one moment!!

LATER--

okok. before i go type it out again. my TSD essay that was supposed to be handed in today, is in SHREDS. i had to go home with an extended deadline and play jigsaw.

ok so basically, what happened was, i only found out last night at like 1030 pm that the TSD character performance essay was due TODAY. so.... chiong..... chiong until 11pm. by then i'd already gotten out a very messy one side of the essay. so, decided to re-do it, tomorrow.. which is today lahz. yupz.

finished it while waiting for the sexual education talk thingy to start. and yeah... tore up the first draft quite happily... and stuffed it in the side of the seat, as there was no dustbin around, and i really couldn't be bothered to hold on to it until the hour was over. so. yeah. littered.

BUT IT WAS A DAMN GOOD THING I DID NOT THROW IT AWAY BECAUSE AT THE END OF TODAY'S TSD LESSON AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAND IN THE ESSAY I REALISED THAT IT WASN'T THE FIRST DRAFT I'D TORN UP AFTER ALL BUT THE FINAL AND I WAS LIKE OMGOMGOMGSHITSHITSHIT AND GOT AN EXTENSION AND THEN SPRINTED UP TO THE LECTURE THEATRE PRAYING THAT THEY HADN'T CLEARED THE PLACE OR LOCKED THE DOORS YET AND THANK GOD THEY DIDN'T AND SO I GATHERED ALL THE BITS AND PIECES THERE WERE STUCK IN THE SIDE OF THE CHAIR AND BROUGHT IT HOME AND PLAYED JIGSAW.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 07:41 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, January 27, 2006:.
this is just so sad.
 well. not a very good day today, for two hours of school.. the morning started out so-so.....

you know what, i think she just might have helped me realise something. that i'm just out to get rejected, sometimes it just doesn't pay to be friendly.

so well. lesson learnt...... had to be taught one time too many.

this sucks.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:01 a.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, January 24, 2006:.
why do they always insist that we don't konw how to say NO to premarital sex.
 this is probably the first and last time in history that a teacher ever used a playstation for a lesson. what lesson am i talking about? of course, TSD......

*laughs* yeah... basically we were doing breathing and voice projection.. and then we were doing pitching. so. basically there's this like karaoke revolution, sth like ddr, but this is singing... there's like a mic and whatever, and it judges your pitch.. damn funny.. *laughs* i saw on the list .. wonder what song that is. could it possibly be the Casting Crowns one?

well niwaez. yesterday went with most of my GP classmates [like only about 7 of us] to watch Memoirs of a Geisha. terrible show, i hated it. in my opinion, it's a cultural chick flick. HONESTLY. lestari agrees with me, both of us sceptical because it's written by an angmoh man. heesh. but yeah. i personally advise you not to waste your time and money, but if you will not listen and think that i'm much more critical than you and you think you will still enjoy it, be my guest.

oh before the movie went new year clothes' shopping.. tell you, miracle kiez... i bought one foxes [men's] shirt, that i lovelovelove... and a b.u.m. equipment jeans.... size 26 can, i didn't think i could fit, but my friend's judgement was quite accurate after all, especially for a guy... i can't believe aaron was actually doing my shopping for me more than i was doing it for myself can. damn funny. but damn sweet of him also lahz.

ok ok. so. shirt and jeans. i was given a 100 bucks to get whatever i could, at least one set for the first day. second day then see how lahz. heh. and then and then. went into seiyuu and got this pair of shoes [dunno how good they are but wth] that i kinda liked the looks of...... they were wrapped like sandwiches but wth, japanese brand, i trust, so..... and after spending on those three items altogether, i still had like, almost 15 bucks left.

is that magic, or is that magic.

i cannot believe that my classmates thought i was somehow related to yeeler. firstly, they said i looked like him. *retches* oh dear, yeeler, i know you're doing the same, if you're reading this. that's why i hope you're not coz if i find out that you really retched i'm going to kill you. again. yeah. coz was walking to lecture theatre when suddenly some idiot went to hit my head with his pencilbox. looked around and when i found that it was him, i almost murdered him. yeah. later on in the canteen i caught sight of his distinctly-taller head and ran and pushed him from behind and almost broke his neck mwahahahahahaha. am i mean or am i mean. but yeah. maybe coz i dare to bully him like that is also partly why they thought he was related to me in someway. but no..... *sigh* too bad....... my family and church friends and primary school friends are all damn separated... damn different communities can....... like living so many lives.............

btw another thing that i hated about Memoirs was that they kept showing all these young girls with old old old men....................................GROSS. pedophile alert....

mom's reminding us about dad's birthday. like... in two days time!!

ok ok. shall have to return antigone to mrlyon tmr. so. byebye.

LATER---------

wah junhao just came online. his nick is this:

Rachel u did a great worship...u r special in His sight


seriously... thank you so much, brother. God bless you

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:00 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, January 23, 2006:.
love you all too.
 ok really rushing for time here coz i told my mother just five minutes to check email. ten to be sure. but yupz... had so much fun today.. ^_^ love my GP class. ahahaa. because it's so small, it's so funn, in a way... ahahahaha.. ^_^ but well. everyone. don't go watch Memoirs of a Geisha. it's like cultured chick flick. yupz. so. don't watch it. it's a waste of time and money. i'd demand a refund from my GP teacher if he wasn't so sick. but seemingly he's better already so maybe tomorrow.... yupz. we'll see how. ahahahahaha.

^_^ love you all. feeling loads and loads better today.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:33 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, January 22, 2006:.
Just Let Me Say
 today... basically... was damn screwed. i'm not saying it's anyone's fault, if i do think so, it isn't really, i'm just using you as a 出气桶.. i know everyone tried your best, just some irritating little part of me keeps screaming otherwise.

it's just everything, i think. like so much bad feeling floating around. i need to just watch something or do something and tire myself out or sth...... times like these are when i find myself really being able to win Best Actress in the World award....... if you don't get what i mean then nevermind...

yesterday went to play pool with gerald + yanleen... won both games with gerald, but lost both games with yanleen... somehow when the both of us played, the games moved so damn slowly, both of us play until damn tired, damn xian. don't really remember playing pool like that before. but, again, they were very encouraging. helped.

so today... thank you, gerald, tim, min, yanleen, junhao, aunty karfoon, melissa, and godma anne and aunty cheng hiang and mom and derrick for all the encouragement and brightening up... it may not look like it made a difference at the time, but everything you said, every smile, every laugh, did bring my spirits up, just a little higher, but still a higher... thank God for you all, i love you always.


Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in the shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face
And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens can tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
O my Saviour, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your Spirit’s flame
Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You, my Lord and Friend

So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart, I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I’ve found in You
And the depths of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
O my Saviour, my Lord and Friend

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:44 p.m.:.
...
.:Friday, January 20, 2006:.
RR.
 well.. had jamming for the first time today.. and really lorz.. me + drea + khoongzie just went in there and anyhow play whatever we remembered to play... damn diao. i felt damn lousy can. and feeling damn lousy now. dunno why, just damn tired, damn tired, i wanna sleep. i wanna take out my contacts, but dun have the container, dun have specs to wear after i take them out, and most importantly, don't have contact lens solution, and i have a feeling that mom forgot to help me buy from west mall today. well.

in general, today was ok... dunno why, just feeling very out of it right now. all the others are all sitting in the living room of shu en + li en's place, and i'm like down here blogging nonsense. don't even know if there's anything worthwhile to blog about.

everyone seems to be bitching about everyone else. can't really find anyone who isn't. and i'm irritated by all this bitching because it makes me hate that person too. haiz. and well... maybe just feeling damn un-pro and lousy shit now...

thank God for small things. can't think of anything right now, but thank God for friends. and... yeah. *can't really think of anything else actually*

i think i'm going to fall asleep anytime soon, contacts or no.

the sec twos are mass conferencing again..........................grah.

i'm going to die here tonight. it's damn noisy and i don't think i even have strength to ............... WTH MY DAD IS TRYING TO FORCE ME AND MY BROTHER TO GO AND SIT AND STONE AND DO NOTHING WITH THE SCREAMING NOISY PEOPLE OVER THERE.

i think i feel damn off because i don't like some people here. and when i look at them, firstly i can't stand them, and then i can't stand myself for not being able to stand them, after they're supposed to be like family friends and childhood acquaintances and whatnotwhatnot. feeling damn off, damn sad, damn alone right now. maybe tomrrow things will be better. i need my journal to rant. but... ohwell. this is the next best thing that i have with me.

scared of losing.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:49 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, January 18, 2006:.
pool coolness
 wah today. ahahahaha. another damn funny day. shan't elaborate much lahz, coz alrdy recounted once to my personal journal. but niwaez. i like playing pool. ^_^ today went after school to play pool at lucky plaza with kenneth chan. yeah have to put surname. know too many kenneths, rachels and melissas... it was damn fun, again, got super high on nothing, but CAN TELL IT'S DAMN OBVIOUS THAT HE'S ALWAYS GIVING ME CHANCE CAN. it's like, ok, we'll play, and with each game he was more and more serious lahz. but he'll like, hit in one ball, then the second one, and then the third one, he'll miss. even though i just KNOW that he could have gotten it in lorz.

aiyah suppose i should be thankful. thank you la thank you la. ahahaha.

then on the train back... xiao xiao lehz, i tell you. was leaning against the side of the door, the side of the mrt that doesn't open, until maybe Dover, and then realised i couldn't keep my eyes open... then found my mind drifting and i kinda fell asleep... then jerked awake when my knees buckled.

THIS HAPPENED AT LEAST THREE TIMES.

OMG JUST FREAK ME OUT. wenli scanned in a copy of his newly-begotten driver's license and i happily went to open it. and risked losing everything that i just typed. fortunately, no data was lost, that's why you're still able to read what i have to say for today. or else i just wouldn't be bothered to recount everything yet again. still have later.... hrmz... my eyes are damn sleepy........... they want to close...................................

oh oh met nice lady today. ahahahaa. i was waiting for the green light at the pedestrian crossing. and then it was kinda drizzling lightly lahz. then there's this lady standing next to me holding an umbrella. and then suddenly she moved to stand next to me and hold her umbrella so that i was covered, then said sth about waiting for very long, in chinese. yeah.. then talked abit lahz, like piano, and pointed the rough direction of my block for her...... only enough conversation to last a slow stroll across four lanes on the road and up to her block [which was nearer than mine from where we were], and with my lousy chinese, yeah, it was still ok lahz. ^_^ but this kind of people. they really make your day. ^_^ thank God for her!

what else. oh yeah. passed GRADE SEVEN piano practical exam!!!!!!!!!! and DAMN well some more i got distinction!!!!!!!!!! 85/100 for a grade seven practical exam is NO EASY FEAT!!! well. according to my teacher, that is. i think the examiner liked me. maybe because i listened to him talk with a smile on my face and actually tried to look interested. ahahaha... ok lahz. but i really was interested in what he was telling me. and i know he liked my last piece because it was PERFECT and i mean PERFECT and when i was done i turned around and he was just sitting there smiling and nodding slightly. scored well for that piece, and scales [because he gave very few and only basics!] and aural [even though i got one or two questions wrong] and viva voce [this one is trivia information regurgitation. easy for practiced muggers. but weirdly, this was the part in which he was talking much much much more than me. telling me about haydn and the surprise symphony and stuff. cool.] ^_^ well well. THANK GOD!!!!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:37 p.m.:.
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.:Tuesday, January 17, 2006:.
miyavi miyavi miyavi... does he really look like me?
 i want you all to watch this video of pro acoustic guitar-ness, and tell me that the guitarist does not look like me and victoria's a blind pok...

and vic!!, can you not announce to the world about the uniform adventure !!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=NMeEsT2DWv4

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 07:24 p.m.:.
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.:Monday, January 16, 2006:.
tag-board always faulty.
 well niwaez... today's been a really fun day!!! other than the fact that charlene WHOM I THOUGHT WAS MY FRIEND went to abandon me the second this guy who i just got acquainted with the other day during rock auditions came up to say hi. wth.

and everyone's like damn shocked at the emptiness of my timetable. i tell you, it just became two hours emptier after GP today because i found out then that math tutorials, were only for those taking h2 math. and yours truly, of course is taking only h1. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ *is all smiley smiles*

so, math tutorials being only for h2 mathematicians *coughfoolscough* [but congrats to you if you enjoy it lahz, my parents are mathematicians, they don't understand why i hate it so passionately, i guess negative times negative equals to positive, that's why...] i found myself dismissed from school an hour early [whoohoo!!!] so rang up my entertainer-of-the-day ryuta miyanaga and found, as i had expected, him sleeping. heh heh. coz i told him my school ended at 230. then he set his alarm clock for 2. wahahahahaha. hear him like cannot talk properly on the phone liddat damn funny.

ok.. so went for lunch at pastamania.. he met this friend called peter along the way... v different guy from himself lorz. diao. peter's a cool guy tho. ahahaha. he helped me while we were playing pool when ryuta was bullying noob me. ahahahaa.

both of them damn pro seh. ahaahaha of course not like those who earn their living from games lahz, but... way better than me is what lahz. ahahahahaha. but hey. i'm not too bad either. i learnt stuff today keiz!!! just not very sure whether can always do lorz. usually when i actually hit the balls into the pockets, it was all tyco. ahahaha. honestly! but they were both very very encouraging. ^_^

well.... ok... some stuff that i can tell you and some stuff that i can't............ just wanna say to everyone, thanks for being my friend. ^_^

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:30 p.m.:.
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.:Saturday, January 14, 2006:.
blessings bountiful.
 hrmz where do i start. no idea. seem to be making alot of pool appointments with many different people. *sighs and mentally prepares self for huge maluation* pool is cool... much cooler than BRIDGE.... ok my tagboard's going to be flooded hahaa i don't care POOL IS COOLER THAN BRIDGE.

what what... what did i want to say... oh yes! ^_^ yesterday afternoon went for Raffles Rock auds... yeah i know i said that already... but later on in the night, i got a call from them saying CONGRATULATIONS YOU'RE IN! heh heh... well... it's cool, it's cool. hopefully will be able to pick up other instruments there as well.

which reminds me that i haven't finished reading ben low's basic bass guide lehz. how arh. *decides to search thru his entire blog*

honestly, though, i just went there and lalalaa-ed around and answered their questions [they were quite nice though they didn't say much, and them being just seniors i wasn't that nervous].... before you ask, i sang and played Complicated by Avril Lavigne... heh... let's all be punk.

and so i find many of my friends getting tangled up in that mess of a bastard.. [sorry caleb, but that idiot is someone that i really feel very strongly about, in sense of opposed against]. i cannot stand him, i can't believe there are really assholes like that in the world... everyone take care. there's a crocodile [buaya] on the loose. someday i'm going to skin this crocodile...........

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:23 p.m.:.
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.:Friday, January 13, 2006:.
i envy the guys' their uniform.
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only one word: GAHHH.

had fun. but all my friends were what gave me away... dang...

Rock auds were not bad.. saww some old friends met some new... among the new was this guy from mt carmel that i saw arnd... i only remembered him coz he looks rather like keith.... heh...

i'm getting a little scared. wondering what i should do......................... gerald you were kinda right after all. hope it turns out not. but..........

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 06:58 p.m.:.
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.:Thursday, January 12, 2006:.
theatre
 Image hosted by Photobucket.com

don't the buildings look like they're on fire in this picture? well, they do in my phone. ^_^

well niwaez, today was z'james birthday... heh... ^_^ trying to get the picture to my photobucket accnt, but somehow it's just not appearing... well niwaez we gave him a purple carebear that can talk, and during free block i scared him with stories of teletubbies and describing a possible scenario in which he wakes up in the middle of the night to the laughter of the carebear... coz the carebear is those type that you press button then it will talk.... seemingly it's telling jokes, but i really can't make out a single thing.... *laughs* also got him a cake, which i haven't paid for, damn sad, i'm damn broke now, i think everyone else is too, but somehow they don't seem to be showing it. only z'gina, today: no money already how to go out i zao first byebye. then she disappeared. damn good.

why's there this musty smell coming from the boys' room. dang. stinks.

talking about car numbers with wenli now. aahahaa.

永遠を歩いてゆける
これからもずっと二人で
この胸に強く抱きしめた
想いは変わらない　たった一つだけの 「愛してる」

 well. damn grateful to mom for the planner that she gave me to use. was in dire need of one. even though it says FEDERAL HARDWARE ENGINEERING CO. PTE. LTD. right in front..... and has funny stuff like...anniversary symbols... staff leave.... food calorie count.... international dialling, country code...METRIC CONVERSION [hoho to my math tchr, HOHOHO] GAH JUST LOST THE PAPERCLIP...how can it just disappear like that..... anyway, like i was saying, like all these dunno what that i have to keep in my head. which i really like to have as empty as possible of this kind of thing so that inspiration can float around without any restriction. so. ^_^

oh yeah!!! drew this damndamndamndamndamn nice picture in z'book today, this empty book that the OGLs bought for us to graffitize.... and super regretting now.... i really really wanna tear it out... and keep it..... :(((((( but owell. ^_^ maybe can photocopy.

in this way, i have already introduced my OG-mates to Keary.

ok have to clear my computer files and shit, see ya pple arnd!

A LITTLE WHILE LATER--

victoria choo, are you determined to fangirl me??????

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:55 p.m.:.
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.:Monday, January 9, 2006:.
you're so gay you make my day~~~
 thank God, thank God, i got into Theatre Studies and Drama. another blessing! too bad sharing isn't this sunday. i don't know what's lying ahead in my future, but, i'll bet this subject has something to do with it.

great things, great things.

what else. oh another thing that made my day today. heh heh heh. this one's a bit mean. but well. i have perfect reason to.

well there's this relationship thingy lahz... basically my friend dorothy got cheated on.. and the guy's in RJ now... was from RI... well... he's this brainless flirt lahz, i don't know how come people can't see through him, but niwaez, elisa and i really can't stand him. during our free time we were in the library and we saw him walk in with some girl lahz. of course, he was flirting again. wth. flirt until damn happy.

so we were looking from the second floor down at him, and trying to decide whether to walk down the stairs nearer to him and glare at him, or save ourselves from contamination and walk down the stairs further away. while we were debating, the clever little boy looked up, smiling so happily [flirting what, of course he happy, brainless shit]. then he saw elisa and me observing him.

his smile VANISHED in less than a split second.

funny shit, we laughed all the way down the stairs. went out of the library still laughing, and happened to run into dorothy. wahh.. i think really made our day. ^_^

well. it's mean. but basically. he's been cheating on her all the time. don't know how come she can stand him. everyone was against him from the start, he was just some random shallow guy.

sarah from my OG, however, has been having the scariest day ever. MWAHAHAHAHAHHAH i really feel like blogging about it, but just in case some people who aren't supposed to read it come across it, well, i think i better not. but, girl, if you're reading this, well, i think you know what i want to say. i really really think he's got it in for you. ^_^ so don't be surprised and say nobody warned you when he confesses.

hrmz what else..... oh yeah. my OGL peishan is a crazy woman. never short of adventures... damn funny. she came rushing to z'cove this morning, and her voice was still hoarse and sexy and she was telling us all about what happened to her on the way here, how she just picked some random j1 in a nanyang uniform to just blabber to... half of what she said, i couldnt' really hear, or understand, but i heard and understood enough to make me want to laugh for ever and ever. unfortunately, my stomach can't take it if i laughed for that long, i think...

got into theatre!!!! damn excited. they told us the list would be out in the afternoon, then as we were walking along, one of the girls came and told us it was out already, and she was in. and coz i was walking with charlene the both of us were like...... damn, shit, dunno whether to go see or dun want, damn scared we didn't get in kinda thing... so charlene's friend, who was with us, went to go see first, and then she was like, "you're both in lahz!" rushed to look, and yeah, really!!!!!!!! gosh gosh gosh. super happy. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

well well. trying to choose some songs to burn into a disc to let Dad hear.. seems cheapskate, but, well. ^_^

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:49 p.m.:.
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.:Sunday, January 8, 2006:.
say cheese.
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.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:00 a.m.:.
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.:Saturday, January 7, 2006:.
z'smth ichiban.
 i'm absolutely tired out now, but just want everyone to know, that orientation was quite fun.. not exactly orientation itself, but i absolutely love my group, we rock, we rock, we so totally rock rock rock the house, the school, this entire universe... lovelove!!!!!!!!! i really pray that we'll continue to meet up regularly, and that everyone will take the effort to do so...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 12:04 a.m.:.
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.:Monday, January 2, 2006:.
tomorrow, tomorrow, i hate you, tomorrow, you're only a day away...
 well... it's been a long holiday... had so much fun for the performance, just wishing that it wasn't over, kinda, or that we could do it again.........

well. passed into the new year at juan's house.. a huge group of YE people.. heh.. was quite fun! then watched Moonchild... heh heh heh.... amanda + yanleen were damn funny!!! yanleen was like cursing wang lee hom's character, and was like, "i don't like wang lee hom!! >:(" and amanda was super 心疼 when kei [hyde-sama] got shot by some insignificant two boys... heh... i still love the movie so much. ^_^ despite paul's never-ending stream of sarcastic remarks... heh.. but he was right, the movie plot was quite predictable. ^_^ but i still like it. it's funny. and sad.

then after that..... watched vids like Gackt-sama on utaban and Hyde-sama being kissed [which amanda+sarah liked because they thought his face was so cute... ahahahahhahaa... he was damn poor thing, but owell... this is the URL to watch... the subtitles are in olden chinese though. if you don't understand, basically the guy was trying to shut the fangirls up i think. i think. not too sure. showed yanleen the utaban episodes, they were quite funny, Gackt-sama never ceases to amaze, especially when he just split like that, while wearing leather pants.... if you want i can give you the URL... wait arh.... here it is. one of my favourites, i laugh everytime i watch it....

actually i'm only awake enough to be typing this entry, only because of the wonderful durian milkshake that i drank during lunch just awhile ago.. or else i'd be busy expiring on my bed again...

ahahahahahha this morning was damn funny, our whole family went for breakfast at ikea with the neo family, shaunald + cassandra. after we were done eating, the parents were like walking around shopping for furniture, and what the hell would kids like us be looking at furniture for, normally. so we took some trolley to play, just to play, and all five of us were clinging on to the trolley and laughing and doing stupid stuff... like calling ourselves the Trolley Club... damn funny... then we were like, "hey yo, we're clubbing. trolley clubbing." basically meaning that we're going stupid stuff like taking this black llama stuffed toy, and a beige stuffed toy that could pass off as a sheep, perhaps, and.............. played blacksheepbaa with it. those who dunno the game, nevermind, but i think it's going to be like a trend for awhile in YE....

another thing that's a trend in YE recently is taitee [not quite sure how to spell it, someone correct me] and bridge. yes, bridge. like on... friday, i think. yeah. 30th. there was a YE dinner thing at roxanne's house.. had alot of fun, charissa + li en were being they're usual spastic selves... but it was amusing as well, as the projector in their house wasn't working and we couldn't watch a movie... coz the television was being hogged by the guys playing x-box...

and then suddenly after dinner, everyone was sitting around in their various small groups, here, there, and everywhere, and everyone was playing cards, either of the two games. really looked like a gambling den lorz, just that don't have money and gambling. but the cards... my gosh. there are these few people that carry a pack of cards around with them everytime they go out to meet friends [or even just go out] and martin my brother is one of them. we were wondering exactly what would happen if someone called the police over for a joke. "FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND THE CARDS ON THE GROUND!!!" yeah, wth.

what else what else.... hrmz... oh yeah... then after juan;s house, we went over to gerald;s house, just a handfull of us, amanda + yan leen + sarah + juan + gerald + me, just to eat some duckrice for lunch and to see his new dog, Triple. ahahahah. quite cute, quite amazing, they were telling us that it likes to watch television, especially soccer games.. and its eyes will follow the ball, and when it goes out of the screen it will go to the side of the television to look for the ball.. ahahhaaha damn funny. ^_^

what else what else what else.......... nothing much i can think of, just that everyone was busy trying to squeeze as much fun as possible into these last few days of freedom... and the parents were actually quite obliging, during normal school term, mom would never have thought of allowing us all to so many gatherings.... it was so fun though! ^_^

oh my orientation group leader called the other day. the moment he put down the phone, though, i realised that i'd already forgotten his name and the group name. oh well. juan assures me that they will guide me again on the day, which is tomorrow, as some people will not have been grouped yet. don't ask me lahz, i just accepted that explanation without fully understanding and not really wanting to bother. ^_^

butabara.... butabara..... that clip is....... here. ^_^ enjoy... i think i shall expire now, or at least help out a bit with the new boxes that were just bought from ikea... damn i quite hate that store and its crowd....

mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:26 p.m.:.
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.:Saturday, December 24, 2005:.
in reply to tags.
 just came back from an hour long train ride, which i totally just slept thru. woke halfway when some bitch was stepping on my toe and then nonchalently swinging her shopping bag so that it hit me on the head. i stared at her a moment, then decided to just ignore sluts like that.

was originally at rehearsal for sunday... haiz... my friends are asking whether we really need that much practice.. *laughs* well. i have no idea. but i guess it's always good to have than don't lahz, for this sort of thing. ^_^

what else. oh yeah!!! gerald + leen got me MOONCHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dances around gleefully* so happy so happy so happy~~~ this is like the only christmas present i got lahz, but i'm super super super happy..... i love it so much!!!!!!!!!! thanks!

then went all the way to cineleisure, met with yiqing + xianhui at pastamania for lunch... heh... ^_^ well well. everyone seems fine so far. only that yiqing starting to find Singapore's heat oppressive. can't be helped, i guess. heh. while eating, grace + ruth + valerie koh walked past and into the shop nearby, so i gave grace a ring. was like, "hello grace. i know where you are. i know you're at bits and pieces in cineleisure." and she was like, "omg you pervert.............. oh. i see you. ah, you got braces?"

well. ok. on to the replying of tags.

vic, thanks alot for the compliment, but i really don't think that i do. look like hyde, i mean. haiz. well.

tudongs, dawn???? what's that all about????

btw i think it's funny when my family's like driving around in malaysia, and then we see this shampoo advertisement, with this girl in a tudong modelling for it. my mom's words: "i have nice shiny long hair under my tudong!"

and wenxin, for cheerleading i also put makeup lorz. you think i want one izzit. performance is must one what.....

and marcus is not THAT cute lahz, come on, why does everyone keep saying that.................

christmas party later. i'm like going around looking for all the world like a drug addict, especially when i'm in all black like now.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 04:33 p.m.:.
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.:Friday, December 23, 2005:.
6E! 6E!! 6E!!!
 had P6 class gathering yesterday!!!!!! wheeheee~~ was damn fun. alot of people went, unlike the previous times~~... *laughs* dawn came over to my house before it all to make me wake up, then helped me do eyeliner and my hair... ahahah.. she's quite good~ then took a cab down to mrs tan's place..... the driver was like going around and around and trying to find it. like wth.

then got there and was accosted by the security at the guardhouse... i thought those people were like really really lax one..... but not bad lahz. then met xue yuan at the guardhouse. wahahaa.. funny. almost didn't recognise him.

we were the first three to arrive..... mrs tan really hasn't changed much~ *laughs* and she still remembers every single one of us... like how hard is that man. i CAN remember everyone, with a little help here and there. then the rest of them walked in and we could see them from the road... dawn and i were looking to see who was who... guessing... heh.... not bad! i still can tell who most of them were from the tops of their heads!! but kaiyan i really really couldn't recognise until i saw her face. coz her hair's much longer..

alot alot of stuff... because there were alot alot of people... heh... kenneth taught me some stuff that i shall try sometime when i feel like it... so. ^^ i wonder how he does it without getting caught... hrmz.

would have taken pictures with everyone with my phone, but the quality was so lousy that i really couldn't be bothered.

so basically we sat around on the living room floor of mrs tan's house and talked.. somebody bought lunch for me + dawn + xue yuan, never found out who, but someone told me that mrs tan paid. :S

after that she had to leave, so we all trooped downstairs for a group photo... mrs tan's living room wasn't big enough for us. heh. it's been four years, if no one has grown, that'd be just weird. even jian yang + kenneth grew kae! but oh well. ^_^

after THAT, we went jurong entertainment to eat. walked into the place, and was like, ok. pizza hut upstairs. anyone protest? no? ok let's go.

then when we went up, we found there was a new food court there. *laughs* oops. sorry all. but it saved some jingles in your pocket lehz~

then after dinner we milled around and ended up going back up to the space outside the arcade next to the food court and sat down and did..... nothing. jasmine was valiantly trying to get us to cooperate and play something like truth or dare or SOMETHING. but the thing was, there were no forfeits available. she was so desperate that she volunteered herself for a forfeit. olivia carelessly went to tell her to go up to some fat old malay guy and tell him she thought he was handsome. she stood up and started walking to him and we were like OMG NONONO JASMINE COME BACK, FORFEIT CANCELLED. o_O

then someone tried to start broken telephone. dominic saboed madeline when it was his turn, he passed around the message that her boyfriend was gay. well. actually i guess coz he couldn't think of anything else to say, and she had been announcing on the busride to the entertainment centre that her boyfriend was bisexual. then she was so happy and proud about it some more, it was quite funny. in a weird way. she said liddat then exciting. i wonder in what way... like.... you have fun guessing whether he's eyeing a guy or a girl this time.... more variety in suspects??? :S o_O like, ok.

shihui wasn't there. kaiqi was. ahahaha. everything was mostly just like four years ago... just that everyone was really surprised that dawn and i were still so close.... hrmz.... i was thinking privately that, is it really that surprising?????? so many people commented that i also began to think it was a big deal. but the main thing is, we both made the effort. ^_^ *smiles at best bud* right?

it was fun it was fun it was fun~~ although dawn had to leave early to meet her friends in town and do her christmas shopping. mom was also really cool, i messaged martin at first that i wouldn't be going home for dinner. then called sometime later to say that they were going out for dinner, and could i join them. she gave me till 9.30. which was way way way more than enough time. ^_^

well. had a great time. hopefully people WILL turn up at the bbq, and we'll have just as much fun then. ^_^ see ya all... have to go eat stuff and prep liaoz. heh. somebody wants me to help him do his christmas shopping for him... wth? but i get lunch for it so. mwhahahhahahahahhaah.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:51 a.m.:.
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.:Monday, December 19, 2005:.
hokkien explanations can be confusing.
 mom + dad conversing in hokkien
marcus: [overhearing] *repeats something he heard* wa mai ka li kong!
mom + dad laugh
mom: what does it mean?
marcus: wa mai ka li kong!
mom: *starts asking him stuff in hokkien while dad laughs*
marcus: wa mai ka li kong!
mom: rachel knows what it means.
me: heh.
marcus: what does it mean?
mom: wa mai ka li kong.
dad laughs, while i'm smiling at the back.
marcus: huh? what does it mean?
mom: don't tell you.
marcus: huh? why??

if you don't get it please come and ask me. *laughs* *is extremely happy coz she's just finished watching Moonchild again*

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 04:57 p.m.:.
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.:Saturday, December 17, 2005:.
one heart, one mission.
 well. what can i say. church camp... was... tiring, short, but also, i think, very necessary, and a blessing. what else can i say? i don't want to bore you out with all the stuff that happened all over again, and in my current state i highly doubt i can remember everything that happened. just that, i'm really really glad this camp took place, i love you all, Jesus loves you all, and great things are going to happen.

the tricky part is that you don't say hopefully. you don't cover your ass with that 'maybe'. because you have to have faith before it happens.

well. ^_^ i'm so tired. so so so tired. but so so so happy.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 06:32 p.m.:.
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.:Saturday, December 10, 2005:.
L'arc~en~Ciel - LINK.
 ok when i'm out of entry titles, i'll just make do with the song that i'm listening to. actually, it's not really a song that i'm listening to... it's more of an MV that i'm watching.

and i realised something. i realised that moses looks like laraku's Tetsu.

o_O

not exactly, but pretty much.

discovered animax a few days ago, but they still have yet to start putting on REALLY good animes... all those now are like... dumb... like what... monkey typhoon... gundam z.... i guess the storyline mightn't be too bad, but i'm not willing to find out, considering the standard of art that i'm going to have to lower myself to in order to tolerate it. yupz. if you understand what i'm saying.

this entry might be a bit mean, a bit off, because i'm feeling super stoned now.... just came back from rongchang and doreen's wedding.. heh... had to be there at 10 when i've been waking up not earlier than 11 everyday of the holidays so far... can you believe it. only less than a month left.

The Trax is a good band. ^_^ but their lead looks singaporean!!!!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 04:22 p.m.:.
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.:Friday, December 9, 2005:.
games, games...
 hrmz. took super long to figure out how to navigate around chin kuan's latest blog template, coz mozilla's like funny, sometimes.. so used IE... and then i could hear the music................ and i was like, "ok now what?"

well but niwaez. finally managed to find the little box and the entry..... and then..... i found this:

****Rules of the game: Post 5 weird and random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. You gotta post a note on their BLOG...*****

so here i am, like, "huh??" random stuff? how random do you want me to be?? like really random, or just normally how i am kinda random?? well. here goes.

1. i'm wondering who's the yarou who came up with this dumb game.

2. i'm wondering who's the second yarou who humoured the first yarou and continued this game.

3. i just finished settling what to wear for rong chang and doreen's wedding tmr. ^_^ my momma helped me.

4. i just discovered the animax channel on cable tv two days ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's like finding treasure manz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for me. my watching-television life is starting up again................. be happy for me!!!!!!!!!!!!! *throws confetti around*

5. i'm thinking that having to think random things about myself is SUCH a pain in the a**. oh. and i like my hamster and monkey msn emoticons. *happened to use one of them*

heh... ok... next comes the sabo-ing........ well....... i'm really sorry, all, but these are the people i really have to choose.......

Me
Myself
I
Krayle
Keary

.......................................... *checks their blog[s]*

we-ll~~! waddaya know!!! they all have the same blog template, and the same blog address, and they've all finished playing the game as well!!!!!!!!

;) gotcha.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 01:10 p.m.:.
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.:Friday, December 2, 2005:.
MOON CHILD.
 ok. anyone who's able to help me get this. i will be eternally in debt.

rachel's latest and actually only ever celebrity obsession... Gackt. all the better if Hyde's thrown in too. ^_^ coolio-oohhhh~~~~

love love! ^_^

[131205] just an additional tidbit, for everyone, and especially me, who loves Gackt-sama and Hyde-sama so much!!! ^_^ enjoy.

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.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 04:09 p.m.:.
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.:Thursday, December 1, 2005:.
<33 Gackt~
 gackt is like... my present king of Jrock. my gosh. i love his songs. except Dyubbuk, which is just noise.

lalalaa.... oh oh! there was this song that i was listening to while i was trying to go to sleep last night.. it was called Evergreen.. done by Hyde.

my gosh. i tell you. it was so peaceful, so soothing, that i almost cried.

heartache.

had the weirdest dream... was it last night or the night before? i think it was the night before. no. last night. this really weird one... first half is woozy, but the second half i remember... it was like we were overseas... trip? i think to England... dunno. then for some reason...[!!] mel + shu + amanda were mad at me!!!!! coz of some performance dunno what. dunnowhatdunnowhat. then they couldn't perform or something [because of o levels, but aren't they like, long over???] and then they were pissed at me because i have no olevels!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they were talking bad about me in the toilets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

almost cried. in my sleep lahz, of course. and then i woke up and for a moment i still thought it was real. then today having dance prac some more!!!

well. i'm so glad it was just a dream. heh. bad memories of a time past i guess.

why'm i always leaving stuff behind after dance pracs. :( did you help me take, shu?? i hope you did!! it's my fave cap. blehz. da's fault!!!

well well. :( did you finish up the skittles or leave it on the pew for the indian congregation to find? coz, it was for you, yeah. all. that was left.

my teeth are feeling itchy. like inside. i don't know why.

ackk. ok. i have to go protect my ulcers a bit more. :) nitez nitez then! ^_^

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:03 p.m.:.
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.:Tuesday, November 29, 2005:.
QT.
 two things that i came across during QT yesterday... the first:

[Mark 5:19] However Jesus did not permit him, but said to him, "Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you."

this was to the man from which He had driven out many demons.. the ones who went to possess pigs instead. yeah.

the second one:

[Mark 5:25-34] 25 Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years,
26 and had suffered many things from many physicians. she had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse.
27 when she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment.
28 for she said, "if only i may touch His clothes, i shall be made well."
29 immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction.
30 and Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around int he crowd and said, "Who touched My clothes?"
31 but His disciples said to Him, "You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, 'who touched Me?'"
32 and He looked around to see her who had done this thing.
33 but the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth.
34 and He said to her, "daughter, your faith has made you well. go in peace, and be healed of your affliction."

and after that in the same chapter He went on to Jairus' house and brought his dead daughter back to life.

imagine if you were one of the disciples. because when you read the Bible, everything's already explained to you, so you know what's happening. but if you didn't.... imagine. just think. it'll be like....... one of the most random things to say. you'd be like: "T.T why the hell did He suddenly say that when it's the most 理所当然 thing to happen when you're in a crowd. T.T"

guess it must have taken alot of faith to continue following Him.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:42 a.m.:.
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.:Monday, November 28, 2005:.
you can just skip this entry, it's just complaints.
 i'm basically here right now to complain. about what? hrmz... let's see...

1) the ulcer on the inner side of my gums.
2) the gap of the left tooth on the lower row of teeth that keeps spurting blood...it's supposed to be healed already.
3) the gap of the right tooth on the lower row of teeth that doesn't seem to be healing up.
4) not being able to chew as it hurts whenever i try to. and it was beef for dinner today.
5) the four ulcers in the middle of my bottom lip. one more coming up.
6) the five ulcers at the right side of my top lip.
7) the fever that keeps coming back.
there are more if i try to keep thinking, but seven's the perfect number, so i guess i'll stop. i also guess that you guys can imagine what exactly ... ok, perhaps not EXACTLY exactly but you now have a rough idea of what i'm feeling. yes. thank you for your audience.



.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:00 p.m.:.
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.:Saturday, November 26, 2005:.
booboomoohoo
 hihi to garima and rach chang who dropped by. ^_^

well niwaez gums just feeling really bruised now.. just had a long sleep, like a three hour undisturbed nap. ^_^ sleep is good. but too much and your head just feels heavy. hope the fever doesn't come back.

having so much difficulty eating.. this morning was trying to eat a tiny bit of rotiboy, like tore out this tiny section. and put it in my mouth. and i couldn't chew AT ALL, it was damn painful when i tried.

boo. there goes enjoyment of eating for the next two or so years. :(

boo.. what else... other than today's dance practice, can't think of anything. ^_^ hrmz... it didn't go too bad.. quite well lahz. just dunno whether we can remember lorz. ^_^ and not get mixed up. but it's cool. hrmz.. nothing else to say, so chaoz.

LATER--

OMG. just finished eating dinner. do you know HOW HARD IT WAS.

*thrashes around* no more crunching hard candy for quite awhile... haiz... :(( no more joys of eating for quite awhile...

just finished watching this show Sea People on Hallmark Channel. hrmz. funny. the main character's some girl called amanda. and her love interest is some guy called peter who looks damn like david from SJC. i'm honest!!!

oh well. decided to post a bit of my latest work here... those who read it, please please please review!!! especially tell me if you can understand what it's saying!!! ^_^ cheerios.

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White… this white is drowning me, I hear you think, hovering, your conscious self, as if a ghost, watching you dream surreally of machines, needles and pain.

They tell you to lie still, if you want to recover, and survive. You leave it to me to wonder; whether there was a chance in the first place, and whether this can be considered living…
No. To both, a sure no.
Caged in by blankness, a memory presents itself—flashes of pale, smooth skin and metallic lightning against the night sky in your mind, followed by the flurry of colourful cloth, accompanied by the crystalline melodies coaxed from the blending contrast of black and white. Laughter rang out, sweet, close and more real than it has been for a long, long time. A memory of living.

I watch you realise your inability to continue thus, and as the oppressive whiteness closes in, you fall once more, not out of this dream but into another within the present one, a dream within a dream. In this, objects crash into the walls of the room they trap you in, smash into tiny bits as you struggle against many hands that threaten to shove you back down into never-ending captivity. The pulsating brightness surrounding you blinds, and you panic, continue to fight. Meaningless screams you cause whirl around you unheeded.

Lie still if you want to live, they say, don’t resist.

Strangely, you feel more alive in these few moments of hopeless resistance and futile struggle than you remember being all this time you lay inert on the bed, the white bed.

Swinging wildly, you finally break free—not so futile and hopeless after all—and you start running like never before. Or perhaps, once or twice past. You run, and run, and don’t stop until you find yourself far away, and free. Exhausted, you stop, bend down, panting, close your eyes, and wish. That this will come true, be reality. That you will have the strength to make it so.

Slowly, I merge with you, so we are no longer two separate consciousnesses. We open our eyes, slowly, expecting to wake to blankness, harsh as a slap… and then we realise that it hadn’t been a dream at all.


On, I remind you as you stand stunned, to find the boy you left behind. The only one you gave the death promise without fulfilling it.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 06:51 p.m.:.
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.:Friday, November 25, 2005:.
blood blood and more blood.
 ok right now i'm just really scared and wondering what the hell's wrong with me. they said that after 15 mins with pressure, the bleeding should stop.

i bit till my jaw hurt on both sides, but no, when i take it out like three hours later, it's still bleeding rivers of blood.

i'm just going to die drained of blood. and they'll find it all in my bladder. WTH.

don't know whether i can dance tomorrow. sigh. oh dear. this doesn't look very good when it's still fountaining blood like there's no tomorrow.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:30 p.m.:.
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.:Thursday, November 24, 2005:.
moonrise.
 well well. i'm stuck once again. trying very very hard to write, but... well.... i don't know. just can't seem to write. good thing i didn't join that contest thingy that lim min introduced to me. or i'll just be feeling like such a failure now.

oh wait. i already AM feeling like such a failure now.

what else. what else.. hrmz... prom was cool! still waiting for more photos to come in, but somehow i have the feeling that they won't be.. *laughs* i want the ones i took with olives and her friend alison. super vintage. yupyupzz.... where's that shithead arh, why didnt' she get the pics for me...

hrmz, what else.. well... just went up to take a look at how the renovation at the house is coming along.. cool... they've already tiled up the toilets... heh... it's quite cool actually. i'm wondering whether my parents are going to organise some house warming whatever. i really wanna have a say as to how my own room is done. if i had it my way, i'd have those sofas, you know those type that open up into beds. then again, those are usually quite uncomfortable. well well. and some more, i have to share the room with my maid... blabla. that's what i hate most. that my room isn't MY ROOM. get what i mean? oh nevermind.

well yesterday went jamming.. heh... quite cool. i tire easily. something's wrong with me. ^_^ well but had a fun time with char + gerald + jonathan + daniel, playing various songs from the chord books.. heh..

went home and fell asleep on the couch... woke up at exactly 6.30pm, and bumbled off to music.. heh.. so-so lahz, i think i'm dead for music exam... was wondering whether i should just finish diploma, because i have a feeling that i'll never be able to pass that far. *looking at standards like xian hui's and such* but it'd be nice to at least have piano-teaching as a career option. heh. earn alot one kae!!

damn. martin's watching weird shows nowadays. a moment ago it was Barney, and now that THAT's over, he's watching Ong Bak again. shit. i really hate that guy. why's his voice so high? is he really FULL guy, even...?

meep. xiang. teach me korean. it's cool...!!

boo.. actually, nothing much else to blog about, i just felt like typing. shall try to use that to do the story. blahz. :( everyone wish me luck...

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:48 p.m.:.
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.:Monday, November 21, 2005:.
ong bak sounds really stupid from where i'm sitting.
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.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:52 p.m.:.
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.:Saturday, November 19, 2005:.
prom part two.
 It was Marines’ Night, held at the famous, popular hotel known as The “M”, and he was dateless. As a matter of fact, they all were. Except one. And that him’s her was to bring a few more she-s along for the fun. Finally she came, and they never thought twice at the time about what drew them to each other, for him to be her escort for the evening. Perhaps it was what happened after, that his borrowed car’s engine couldn’t start up, and that they had to ask for help from the car mechanics who had come to repair the car that was parked behind them [it couldn’t start either], that they agreed not to stop the car just in case it couldn’t get going again, that left the essential impression, the unforgettable one that made each of them special to the other.

At the time, I’ll bet they never guessed that more than twenty years later, their eldest child would have her secondary school prom in the exact same ballroom.

 well so sorry people, for stopping and not continuing last night. ^_^ well niwaez, just to make sure you don't blame me for that, i have to tell you guys, i was at the dentist's. yeahh... extracting teeth. i somehow found myself wishing that vic and some others [but mostly vic] were there, when the dentist was struggling to wrench the teeth by turn out of my mouth. oh damn. i have to take a picture of the teeth. one second.

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yupz. was like rinsing my mouth and it was just blood blood blood and more blood... which was quite cool, in a way, coz i didn't feel any pain... heh. i was thinking of commenting on the natural lipstick, but... my mother already looked so horrified that i decided not to. she kept saying that two-third of the tooth was pulled out of my gums. well.

actually i think there's something wrong with me. they said the bleeding should stop in half an hour. i bit down till my jaw hurt and it hadn't stopped bleeding yet when i went to sleep about three hours later.

oh well. and here's some pictures of after prom. ^_^ when i was at home. heh heh............. cain-sama. ok, fyne, so i disgrace him. :P but i had fun. give you the lousy quality ones from my phone first, later then post the ones that i took with people. ^_^ when i've gotten them all. heh hehh....

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okok. well niwaez. the fun part. heh. there was more, and small stuff, you can read about it at elisa's blog.. heh... her FAM entry... here. well basically, we were at the Christmas tree, you know the huge one at Paragon there. then elisa wanted to take a picture of both of us [i'd lent her my cloak, so yeah...] standing facing each other while looking down. so we got onto this bench, and just posed while dorothy was supposed to help us take a picture.

then her friends spotted us, and got a wonderful idea. they told us to stand there. and just... stand there. and look scary. and..... ohoh someone's coming!!!!!

the first two passersby came, two girls. i looked up suddenly at them as they walked near, kinda outta the corner of my eye.

they stopped.

not knowing what else to do, because we hadn't really even had a rough script planned, i started laughing. also because of the way the two of them just stopped short and STARED at me.

they continued staring as i burst into laughter, then turned around and called to this group of friends behind them in chinese, "i thought they were going to perform something!!!"... it was a pretty big group. and looked kinda familiar. and somehow they knew our school, so we concluded that they were the waiters and waitresses from the prom dinner. ahh. that would make so much sense. ^_^ what doesn't make sense is why anyone would be on the streets performing for almost no one to see at one plus am in the morning. -__-

ok. so that was when we were both just standing on the bench, elisa's hood pulled low over her face. heh. funny. it was a full moon that night, did you guys know? :P betcha didn't. ^_^

okok better save this entry in case something goes wrong first. ^_^ did i tell you my head hurts like anything? it's been hurting since this morning.

LATER--

omg i feel like i'm going to die. my head's throbbing like crazy, i feel so cold, and my mouth hurts. *whines* *whines* *whines some more*

okok. i have to finish this thing. really sorry for the lousy ending, but if you ask me to tell you, then i guess i will. cannot take it much longer. well basically me and my twin there were just posing, either sitting or standing, and then once in awhile i'd mumble to her to howl. she got really good at it. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ basically dorothy's friends appointed themselves as calafairs and pretended that they didn't know us, basically to attract attention for us and to us, and get people to notice and go near to us so we could give them a scare. ^_^ it kinda worked. this indian couple and chinese couple were walking together and they were asking about taking pictures with us. mwahahahaa. quite funny. seemingly the chinese girl was really scared, she didn't wanna come near us even. XD XD XD for that one arh... how i ended it? oh yeah. i suddenly got up and attacked dorothy's friend joanna. XD pretended to bite her and then started to laugh. coz i didn't have any fake blood or teeth with me at the time, it was a bit hard. ^_^ the girls weren't expecting it. which is good also lahz. ^_^ so their acting is a bit more realistic.

i did that one more time. but this time not to joanna. another girl, who was in red. heh heh. this one must tell you. there were other attempts, failures, like this couple walked past, and i was trying to get elisa to howl, but she took so long, they were past us already when she finally did. heh heh. but they started and turned around lahz. ^_^ not too bad. blabla.

oh yes! the last time. was getting tired alrdy. but the girls were having so much fun they kept wanting us to scare more and more people. *laughs* well. i guess it WAS fun. but tiring, kinda, and also i didn't really know what to do.

so this last time, i was sitting and elisa was standing, to show off the cloak, make her look a bit more scary, dementor, whatever you wish. ^_^ isn't it cool to be mysterious? then people just imagine whatever they want, let their imaginations grow wild.................. i was wondering whether this would help in getting into Theatre next year. XD

BACK TO THE STORY.

so i was sitting, and elisa was standing on the bench.... suddenly this guy, either malay or tanned chinese, i didn't get a very good look at him, i was concentrating on thinking up what the hell i should say.... and he was like, smiling, "where're y'all from?"

i stared at him out of the corner of my eye awhile, then swept my gaze to elisa on my right, and said, "THE OTHERWORLD."

he kinda backed away, but sat down nearby smiling at me. eh heh... i kinda wanted to say something about filthy men's blood... but i decided to do it another way... i started talking, or maybe if you want, it can be counted as monologueing, i guess, to elisa.

basically, i said sth to the effect of::---

1) haven't fed for a long time
2) very hungry........for blood
3) a group of girls in front of us now [the girls pretended to be really scared and started to go away]
4) i see red [one of the girls was dressed in red]
5) reminds me of blood
6) ............. [broods]
7) I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

then i kinda flung the stick to the side, and sprinted for the girl in red... what was her name again? ackk. sorry. starts with b..... ermz... ok. never mind about that. ;) they were already quite far away, and they scattered, screaming like crazy, i actually had to chase her all the way up the steps there.

then i caught her. and while i pretended to bite her neck, i was actually whispering frantically:

"FALL. FALL. FALL."

she understood!!!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ and crumpled to the floor, bringing me with her.

and i started laughing. end of performance. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ when i turned away and walked down, the guy was standing there with this really stunned and scared look on his face, clutching his camera to his chest. *laughs head off* omg...... imagine if i'd brought the blood... but then again, don't wanna dirty their nice clothes.... ^_^

well so basically. was damn funny........... the guy had walked some distance away, and was talking to two others, who i suppose were his friends or sth. maybe they saboed him to come and bother us. *shrugs* *laughs* owell. niwaez he was telling them about us lahz. heh. we decided to round up already, so i offered elisa my arm like a good victorian english gentleman should, [of course her hood was already pulled back. she looked like someone out of LOTR. ermz... except the specs. eh hehh.] then we just walked toward the three guys [what, don't stare at me, we needed to get past them to get to the pedestrian crossing] and they looked sorta nervous as we got near them. when we passed them, we said:

me: good evening sirs.
elisa: [sth to that effect, sorry i din hear exactly what she said]
me: wonderful weather we're having
elisa: yes, so cloudy.

XD

while we were standing at the crossing, waiting for the green man to come on, some taxi honked. i don't know what that was for, but... well. heh. i guess i looked funny. going to coffee bean, and saying that heads turned my way is a total understatement. they stared their eyeballs out. all angmohs, i don't understand why they stared, they do even more outrageous things than that...

oh yes, met my dear angel yan ling. ^_^ wheeeeeee... haven't talked or written to her for so long!!! my darling angel. ^_^

hrmz... ok alot of people waiting to read this entry.. ^_^ coz i asked them to... too lazy to keep repeating myself. ^_^ well. niwaez. ^_^ see you guys arnd... hope you had as much fun reading about what i did as i had doing it. ^_^

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 04:21 p.m.:.
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.:Friday, November 18, 2005:.
prom.
 heh... today!! i woke up at 1 pm. ahaa.. might not be very late for some people lahz, but... late for me. considering i slept at 4 plus, i think it's already quite good lorz. heh. i know people who sleep at 10pm and wake up at 2pm next day. crazy eh?

prom arh prom... where the hell do i start??? i don't even have many pictures, coz even though i borrowed gerald's camera, i left it in my bag, which i cleverly left upstairs. -.- i know. so clever.

it was quite funny. "OH MY GOD YOU ARE/THAT IS SO COOL!!!" is the phrase that i heard the most last night. ahaaa... all the people i knew came up to me and asked to take pictures, after first saying that. and then. some people that i didn't know also came up to me and asked to take pictures, after first saying that. ahahaaa... i think being a celebrity is very tiring. you think standing with people and posing and smiling is very easy????? it's quite tiring noe. hrmz.

someone was saying that i should charge for each photo. wahhha. if i did arh. from last night, i'd be like, rich. of course depending on the amount that i charge lahz. the suggested price was five dollars. *laughs* but i honestly don't know how many people would want to take pictures with me then. ^_^ well. thank you people. for making me feel popular. *laughs*

the food was quite crappy lahz. after awhile i gave up trying to eat and stood up and walked around instead. heh. the bitch was at the dinner. she tried to get us to settle down when everyone had like, just entered the room. like... wth?? someone was asking, "who's that? who's that?" i turned around and said, "a bitch." well she is! the same teacher who gave me trouble over the sit ups this year. wth. once again, the first person i kill will be her. maybe if i was a vampire. or maybe her blood would just poison me to death. AHA. poison........................................ hrmz............................................................ *contemplates* yes. *starts to plot*

*comes back to the entry* oh wait wait. i'm not nearly done yet. ^_^ everyone really looked damn pretty lahz, some people really unrecognizable [as i wouuld have been i think, not in a good way, if i had put make-up]. yupz. i didn't put makeup. only eyeliner, a bit, that xiang helped me put. see i knew we should have used the liquid one rather than the pencil. pencil smudges very easily. if we'd used the liquid one and let it dry, i daresay it would've stayed.

well niwaez. the smudging did some good lahz, kinda, later on. you'll see why. when i get to the part. I SAID WHEN I GET TO THE PART CAN YOU BE PATIENT!!!

*clears throat* *turns away from self* sorry about that...

three cheers for cosplaying! it rocks. ^_^ cain-sama, sorry for imposing as you for those few hours last night. all thanks to kaori yuki-sama for creating such a wonderfully delicious character.



yes. that is caine. ^_^ well.

okok fun part. wait. pre-fun part.

after the actual dinner, party, whatever you wanna call it, went upstairs to the room [actually it was just elisa + jina + dot + sabrina's room, while sab went to crash in some other friend's room, and dot went downstairs to meet her friends or something lahz. later me + elisa went down to meet her. came out of the lift and walked past this group of japanese tourists who stared at us in confusion. "nani kore??"

*lho*

i think martin's like really really bored with nothing to do ever since i got onto the computer. he's letting Barney teach him how to read STOP signs. o_O OMG. i better do something and stop him first.

yayy he finally decided to watch korean drama All In instead. GOOD. he's watching the twelve dollars part.

ok so after, we went out, me + dot + elisa + four of dot's friends, out of which i only kinda knew one--joanna. dun even know her surname, actually. so sorry so sorry.

ackk continue later, i'm kinda tired now.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 01:54 p.m.:.
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.:Wednesday, November 16, 2005:.
prom's tmr
 heh.. class chalet was really fun!! ^_^ well. nth much to say abt it, just that thanks to everyone who was there who made it fun. ^_^

well. tmr's prom. heh. still a bit unsure about what i'm going to be wearing, but, i guess i'm just going to go there and have fun. ^_^ please try not to laugh too hard. you might get hit with a cane.

blablabla... hrmz. wondering wondering. wondering about alot of stuff. heh. i'm wondering how anyone can survive with a chalet going on from monday to friday. how the hell is anyone supposed to survive normal chalet activities for five days. someone please tell me.

oh. today. just now, actually. went to the Bugis arcade. the second i stepped in, one of the people in charge asked me over the noise, "how old are you again??" i stared at him, coz i was quite stunned, then said, "sixteen?" and then he nodded and turned away.

i turned back and was like, "do i really look that young???"

gerald, who was with me, was like, "hey you should be happy, it's a good thing--"

i screeched, "not at this age it's not!! wait till i'm 20, then it'll be a compliment!! now, it's an insult!!!!!!"

who agrees with me hands up.

ackk. still stuck on the story. somehow just can't get myself to write. i guess i have to be really bored first.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 05:47 p.m.:.
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.:Saturday, November 12, 2005:.
borrowed glory.
 well yesterday went quite alright... heh... they were imitating us sec fours... put up two dances and everything. i think they did a wonderful job, the juniors. i'm glad i went. and i'm glad that someone didn't go. she would have spoilt the evening.

to the juniors, i will miss you, and i'm sure like the rest, we'll try to come back and visit... just that i don't think the chances of us choosing GB as our cca in jc will be very high. ^_^ so squishy, don't cry, kiez?coz
friends are friends forever
when the Lord's the Lord of them
and a friend will not say never
coz the welcome will not end
though it's hard to let you go
in the Father's hands we know
that a lifetime's not too long
to live as friends.

 told you not to cry. *laughs* ^_^ you didn't see any of us sec fours with wet eyes rite?

well they ran out of the red stuff at Party With Us... it's only restocking, seemingly next year's Halloween... she did say that right? and we were lik... o_O a bit not far away only lahz.

niwaez... Borders didn't have the book i wanted!!!! >_< wanted Tamora Pierce's Trickster's Choice, but it was SOLD OUT. haiz. see what happens when my parents don't buy me the books i spot and tell me to WAIT TILL LATER. haiz. forever like that. i tell you, I HATE ADULTS.

looking at the works in the SEIZURE folder now... and i realised that i really haven't been writing for a few months already. i started on one story, but as usual, not very sure whether to continue... i should just get writing!!!! grah!!! yeah!!! so what am i doing here?!??!?!?!?!?!?

I miss you
miss you so bad
I don't forget you
oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly....


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 04:21 p.m.:.
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.:Tuesday, November 8, 2005:.
prom clothes, or cosplay?
 just two things to say....

1) thank you to derrick for bringing me to the shop and being so patient and helping me search for the clothes and everything, and

2) the rest of you... don't be too shocked when i make my appearance at prom will you.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:56 p.m.:.
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.:Monday, November 7, 2005:.
todokanai
 i realised that i haven't read Dracula yet. and now it's too late when i want it, because it's all been packed away. oh well. i can wait. i have plenty of unread books here that i have yet to read. namely, I Capture The Castle, Trickster's Queen, The Hobbit, Cloud of Sparrows... and then i have to try and read Purpose-Driven Life. martin got it for his birthday present from his godbrothers josh+jon and their parents.. heh. well. that saves the trouble, and then i don't have to worry about not being able to finish it before my darling best pal goes overseas to study... i still wish i could go with her!

well. i like gackt's Todokanai video. ^_^ showed martin and then he was like, is this the story of Dracula? and then i realised that i didn't know what the story of Dracula was. haiz. how embarrassing. heh. nevermind. it's very seldom that i don't know a story that he does. ^_^

this is what it means to be held..

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 01:56 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, November 6, 2005:.
its a new day... and it doesn't feel too old lahz but it's... strange...
 in the new house... i think dad's trying out some arrangements that he settled with uncle eugene or sth so some things are arranged differently... like my bed is now sticking into the center of the room instead of lying at the side. i don't really mind it that way, except i don't have a wall to kick.

i don't like the colour of the toilet. its like... dark. you know. i don't like dark toilets. not really. because it makes me feel like the water is always dirty. this morning when i used the cup there to rinse my mouth, the thought flashed into my mind that i was drinking blood. looked into the mirror and half expected my lips to be bloodred... but oh well.

martin says it feels like a holiday. coz the toilets are different. he said after he bathed in the toilet that was it, it already felt like a holiday. well what kind of hotel doesn't have aircon these days? his room doesn't.

oh well. maybe more later. wanna finish reading this hades/persephone fanfic that elisa recommended to me...

LATER

well spent today reading that awesome fic and now none of the rest that i read can compare to it... *laughs* well. if you're interested in greek myth and especially hades, come ask me for the link. ^_^ yyayy hades.

stomach hurts.

bought another book when i was walking around the bookfair outside the handphone shop that marcus wanted to buy his new phone from. well. quite cool. got this book for 10 bucks, it's about japan during the samurai era, and these two missionaries that make their way in.. yupz. gotta be mentally prepared for the bloodbath. but well. isn't it already to be expected.

have yet to finish "I'm the King of the Castle" that paul lent me.

oh yes have to tell you. i bet the whole load of you people at church got a shock when you walked in and saw rachel ang making a whole lot of noise on the electric guitar and wearing pink. well. tell you what came after that, during dinner.

specifically, i was wearing sneakers, the S&K pants with decorative thingys hanging all around... was wearing them real loose, trying it out like guys do.. the kind of loose that without belt you'll never be able to show your face outside your house ever again... i'm kinda getting a hang of it. just can't run too quick. oh and also... hrmz. it was really hot like what but was wearing a white long-sleeved, and then a giordano polo tee. a PINK giordano polo tee.

*shrug* what you staring at. it was dirty anyway, i wore it the other day out to some dinner. just for the dinner. so. well. just wear on sunday lahz. heh. and my father was wondering why i never wore the polo tees he wasted money on for me.

yupz. and then during dinner i was wearing that black trucker cap.... yeah.... so. well. while i was outside looking at the books at the bookfair, my brothers and mother were sitting inside the handphone shop talking to the lady.

lady: oh are these your children?
mom: yes... three of them.
lady: ohh... three boys huh..
mom: *stunned* no... one is a girl....

*grinz* well. i must say then that i have succeeded. didn't even need to use bandages. i was actually thinking whether to try scotchtape. nevermind you if you don't understand what i'm talking about, but if you did... and da's gonna get really angry at me for saying it... well...

call it adverse effects. or retaliation.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:35 a.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, November 2, 2005:.
happy birthday dear martin.
 haven't felt so good for sometime. xiang + char dragged me out of school right after farewell assembly, which was quite cool, and we went BK to eat.... yupz... then after that walked around in taka, went places like kino and then sat at coffee bean to eat... heh... bought this book, Trickster's Queen, that i've been wanting to buy for a long time... hoped that mom would refund me, but she didn't coz she's pissed i borrowed money from charlene... so wth right? ah well. i'll take care of myself.

thanks to xiang + char for the laughs. heh. told you about that funny dream rite? *laughs* actually the whole dream wasn't that funny, only that last part where you... or rather, your voice, came in... but it was really the type of thing that you would say. "oh, the ending is really stupid, it's that she lost her memory but when she was old she saw an ice cream cone and her phobia came back and she panicked and had a heart attack and died." god, that really IS a stupid ending.

well i think i might not be coming on for some time... had to come on now because i haven't checked my email for two days and also there's the various inet surveys that need to be filled up or i won't get my marks tmr... heh... wonder where to find them. hrmz.

and well... today's martin's birthday... so all of you who haven't wished him so.... you had better. grr.

replying tags.

eraser: twin darling, you're on the cover of our batchbook cd! :D anyways, cheery up, and talk to me sometime soon. got something for ya. :)
vic: -HUG- you will not fall into the sea. for elisa and I will probably follow suit to attempt to save you. are you schizo?
vic: are you alright rachel? obviously not. Oh dear why are you so depressed all the time?!
da: ey rach. you're scaryy. but i know how it feels cos i was like that. ask shu.. but yea, just keep praying, and keep talking to someone okay? takkaire (: love you
Supreme: everybody needs chocolate chips.
squish: *hug*
killer_angel: n real sry for not sayin hi.. i was juz tired then not really dao.. haha.. tts my norm look...
killer_angel: haha.. so those guys r ur bros... rite? u sure cover up your looks... ahha... well... lookin forward to see u again soon...

well heyy thanks all, i'm feeling better now... ^_^ it's alright chinkuan, i know what you mean. heh. not like i said hi either. i thought you didn't see me. ^_^ well. i've changed alot lahz.

hello squishy. ^_^

yes chunny, everyone needs chocolate chips... to get them high once in awhile. unfortunately, everything in my house is being packed up or thrown away, so i don't know whether we actually have any chocolates anywhere... all the best for your o levels. and can you please please please try to come RJ??? :(

heyy heyy da. thanks always for caring. ^_^ and you know you can come talk to me too right? all the best for your o levels as well... ^_^ love you loads.

vic... ermz... perhaps.... i'm not too sure whether i am though. but i DO have a disturbed mind, i can guarantee you that much... and dear.... if i want to drown... nobody will be able to save me. i'd make sure of that. so why don't you just stay at shore and watch and wait and see what i do, i just might decide to save myself. i did finish my honors before quitting swimming class....

and elisa, BEING ON THE COVER OF THE CD IS NOT A GOOD THING. but nice try anyway.

oh well there was something that i wanted to say but i forgot what. hrmz. well. see ya people around......... and i wanna ask first, who'll be free [and willing] to go out with me for like maybe an entire day? just walking around and talking and doing nothing. i hate the apartment downstairs. i want to be in it as little as possible these one and a half to two months that we're going to be there.

oh well. have to do some packing tomorrow. see y'all

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:42 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, November 1, 2005:.
strange dreams.
 she wants to cry
she wants to scream
she wants to yell profanities at you
hit you
hurt you
anger you
so you just leave
slamming the door
you should leave
walk away
just leave her
alone
never to come back again
once and for all
so she'll never have to worry about being
alone
again
never have to worry about being
left behind
again
because she'd already be.

after all
it's all for the better
never know
what could happen
unstable
insane
you would never be safe around her
she knows you wouldn't
because even she doesn't know herself anymore
even she is not sure of herself anymore
...................
so how can you think you will?

she remembered the tent from a dream that she'd had before. he was with there with her both times, and she realised then how much she wanted him to be, always.

it was a game. they were given a riddle and stepped through the tent flap into the next tent compartment, and there they had to look for the answer to the riddle they were asked before. they were friendly enough to the invigilators, little creatures that could talk, and they were given obvious hints that allowed them to pass to the next room.

when they reached the end... there was an accident... they tried to run but it was too late, and then everything was lost.

and she wondered if the last dream would've been like this as well, if she had been allowed to finish it. then maybe it was a good thing she hadn't.

 so don't ask her why she's pushing you away.
she had a reason,
once,
long before.
does it really matter?
but don't ask her why she's pushing you away.
she doesn't know anymore now.

REPLYING TAGS:

to da: there's her answer. she doesn't know. she doesn't know what's happening. but she thinks that it just might be sinking into either depression, or going insane. you should tell her parents to lock her in the mental asylum soon, before she does any real damage to anyone else.... mad people are dangerous, just like mad dogs, you don't know what they'll do, when they'll do it, and it's catching...

to vic: no, she doesn't think that you'll be wanting to go with her to rollerblade or anything... she might just decide to rollerblade on the pier, over the railings and into the sea... and she's not joking this time. she can't. because she's not very sure whether she will or she won't. better to be safe , she guesses, and stay far, far away.........

------------------ When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour spent together
Lives winthin my heart

And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
And when was happy
So was i
When she loved me

Through the summer and the fall
We had each other that was all
Just she and i together
Like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
And i knew that she loved me

So the years went by
I stayed the same
But she began to drift away
I was left alone
Still i waited for the day
When she'd say "i will always love you"

Lonely and forgotten
Never thought she'd look my way
She smiled at me and held me just like she use to do
Like she loved me
When she loved me

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour spent together
Lives within my heart
When she loved me.


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:44 p.m.:.
...
.:Monday, October 31, 2005:.
still feeling off.
 sorry to Wenxin + Juee + Lulu + Cheryl Neoh... just feeling v off. cheryl i know you know what i mean. how did it go after i left?

i don't really know why i'm feeling so lousy ... actually not really... i'm not really feeling down, i'm just not feeling up. and can't get myself to feel up.

so well niwaez here's what i did after that. btw we went lido and ate. had a lousy lunch, the service was bad, the food even worse, and singapore's just so full of ugly people trying their very best to look cool and ending up looking even worse that i really can't take it anymore.

if you call me today
i'll say that i'm fine
but i bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
it's just a lie...

the rest of the chorus of that song doesn't really apply. but well. this part does.

didn't help that yesterday when i was already starting to feel low that got saboed to go up and do actions to Seven Times A Day I Will Praise You in front of the whole church. somehow i'm so glad that timothy wasn't there yesterday. or else i'd have had it no end. the worst was last week, when aunty doris was reading about jacob and rachel.... i tell you i could've killed him. if i was in the mood that i'm in now, i probably will. but if i was, i guess he would've been able to tell and let off... i don't think he's THAT dumb.

sorry wen for threatening to hit you and daoing you and everything. i'm just not feeling very huggy and everything today. and i'm also sorry about that comment about the messages. really. i know it was.... like boasting liddat. i didn't mean it that way. honestly.

chinese paper sucked. chun en found it alrite, well that's her, she's good at chinese... i'm just hoping that i pass, kinda... haiz. owell.

since when was my angelfire account deactivated... anyone know a better uploading website? it sucks, for all it has such a pretty name....

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 06:17 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, October 30, 2005:.
this is why she can't let you come any closer.
The Corrs - Hurt Before

She's a girl in a world
She's moving as fast as she goes
Loves her mom and her dad
The only secure that she knows
But at night she's alone
She's dreaming of somebody new
Her someone for to hold
She's praying the dream will come true

Show me the way
Show me, show me how
Help me be brave
For love
Show me the way
Show me, tell me how
What do you say?

There's a pain in her heart
She's trying so hard to unwind
Makes her cry in the night
When visions so real make her blind
Wamts to break through the fear
Erasing the scars from within
Start a new kind of being
She's down and she's praying again

Show me the way
Show me, show me how
Help me be brave
For love
Show me the way
Show me, tell me how
What do you say?

You see she's
Turning the key, unlocking the door
Embracing the roller coaster world
Stepping outside, body and soul
Taking whatever future holds
Turning the key, unlocking the door
Embracing the roller coaster world
Take it in stride, you're just twenty-five
And you know we've all been hurt before

You see she's
Turning the key, unlocking the door
Embracing the roller coaster world
Stepping outside with body and soul
Taking whatever future holds
Turning the key, unlocking the door
Embracing the roller coaster world
Take it in stride, you're just twenty-five
You know we've all been hurt before
We've all been hurt before
See you're not alone, no
You're not alone


.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:31 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, October 29, 2005:.
this is a picture of amanda's unfortunate dog frost.
 mugging my butt off for chinese. well ok, i'm considered quite slack alrdy lahz.. but well... here, for those of you who decided to visit my blog and take a break from those books and printed words... here. ^_^



.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 04:57 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, October 26, 2005:.
almost couldn't get in
 i forgot what i changed my accnt password to. o_O so scary. was trying and trying and OMG cannot get in.

then...

i remembered it. heh.

oh well. ^_^

so din go to school today... SJI's school has officially ended already, of course they still go back for training and whatnot, nevermind, that's their problem, but at least they get to wake up later...

can't wait for chinese o's to end. ackk. laoshi came this morning. i really just don't feel like studying chinese, even though i know i should be trying my utmost best... somehow i don't really care anymore.

the auditions for the FAM have been changed from tmr afternoon to today at 12. i don't really know what they expect us to do, but i'm just going to bring my acoustic, go there, play my latest composition, and that'll be it. not particularly keen on performing on prom night, but one thing good... i'll have an excuse to not wear a dress, at least.. heh... so i'm quite torn. ^_^

don't know whether to perform on 4th. not really entirely keen............... i always think, what'll happen if we screw up? we're going to be so dead lahz.

but chances are we won't screw up. ah well.

sorry if i'm not making alot of sense here, i'm really sleepy, must be the medicine..

what else. what else. can't remember.

still have to finish that greek myth poster... i don't really wanna give in the original. can i just give them a copy............ ahaaa! *laughs* i'm damn cheapskate. but i really do wanna keep it... like which artist wouldn't want to keep his/her own work rite.... heh.... generous ones, i guess, or those who can duplicate easily... i can't do either. heh. so. well. we shall see. ^_^

i'm tired................

shall stop grousing and reply tags.

hello hamsie!

amanda, not like you didn't know i was a cheerleader at the start of the year what!!!!!

hello shu!!^_^

hello alethea, which victoria do you know? ahahaa... i mean, surname? the chances are that i won't know her, because i'm a super low-profile person at sch, don't really go out of my way to know people until they come to me first...

vic... no elisa isn't a cheerleader, i just said it to comfort anyone who felt disturbed by the un-rachel-ness of the girl in the pictures

wenxin, why cannot put your face there? i like that picture. it's so funny. ^_^

heyy heyy twin.

hello bestest bud! heh heh... did i tell you about the cheerleading thing? heh... well.... hurry up and tell me when you wanna meet up kiez!! *laughs*

chunny.. i see you have shortened your screen name... why? *laughs* it's super silly now lahz... and i know that even though it's called cheerleading, it's just another name for dancing... heh.. i joined coz of the dancing, and also if you do cheerleading, you only need to do one activity for the house for the year.. hehh... i think. at least that's what they told us. and you complete all your house hours. i was so sick of just going for the interhouse badminton all the time. boring. and what do you mean by "Keary's carolling in my head...ouch."?????? huh??????? huh???????????? *is super protective of keary*

heyy min, how'd you get my blog addy? heh heh... funny. i thought you never visited. or have you been visiting and just not tagging..... hrmz........

ponder ponder. oh yes. last night, before we went to sleep [we were bunking into my parents' room again, coz my father went off to australia...] and marcus wanted mom to read the Bible to us before we slept. yupz. so..... she read.... Exodus 3. wait lemme go find it. i think it was the prescribed passage from Our Daily Bread... yupz niwaez here it is.

mom: GENESIS 13-17:
13 Moses said to God, "Suppose i go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall i tell them?"

14 God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.'"

15 Gos also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, 'The LORD, the God of your fathers--the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob--appeared to me and said: i have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in Egypt. 17 And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in Edypt into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites--"

marcus: parasites?

mom: parasites. no. Perizzites. *continues*
"--Perizzites, Hivites, Jebusites..." mosquito bites....

marcus: *laughs* termites....

heh heh... what a joke. *laughs*

ooh....... there are pple saying that my acting is very good... yayY!!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ *is very very happy* maybe i'll have a chance to get into Theatre after all.........

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:23 p.m.:.
...
.:Saturday, October 22, 2005:.
408, Queens of the Netball Carnival 2005.
 what can i say? we won we won we won. ^_^ well done all!!!

niwaezniwaez, show you guys my hair this morning when i wake up. next time, i don't need Gatsby wax, i just need a pillow and a few hours of sleep.

yupz. cool eh. ^_^ sorry if i look a bit evil, i just woke up. heh.

more later i think i better go do SOMETHING. oh oh. so i shall show you some of the photos during the cheerleading.. please please please don't be too shocked...



maybe it would comfort you if i said this was my twin sister and not me.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 02:22 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, October 20, 2005:.
just before Woman's Voice
 decided to blog, even though there's only about five, ten more minutes till lesson. haiz. if only i could just skip the lesson, but at the same time i wanna see what the other groups have up...

charlene's watching me type again. it's making me nervous and making me type alot of errors. :(

niwaez niwaez. i'm supposed to wake up my sleeping juniors [ok they just woke up] at 330. heh. nevermind. victoria + lianne...

i don't know what i'm going to do tomorrow.

what else... haiz.. the school sucks lahz. suckssuckssucks. and that's final. no argueing.

booboo.. presented Achilles for Greek Myth lesson just now.. heh.! it was damn funny, actually. coz somehow, the groups, in their research, they didn't find out that there was homosexuality... so there was the one where i was talking about agamemnon stealing achilles' girl briseis.. and then i kinda muttered, "actually, also don't know why he needs a girl lahz, when he already has patroclus..." and then the whole class went, "HUHH!!!! WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!!" damn funny!!! so.... only our group had that point on homosexuality in the iliad. heh. damn what can, you can see the whole class was just like talking talking talking among themselves during the whole presentation,except the end where we were like, ok, now to part about achilles and patroclus... and then they were all ears, all staring wide-eyed at the screen. DIAO, i know. but it was quite funny lahz.

meep. do you know how much WORK i had to do before i could get the internet to work for this laptop.. sucks manz. and something's rattling behind the computer. maybe it's the computer rattling, rattling the cd that's in the cd drive now. ackk, im sorry but he girls who made this got a really good pianist but they always go out of tune... haiz. owell.

im still at a loss of what to choose in jc. and the choice has to be made by tomorrow.

school's such a killjoy. all adults are.

blablabla. i liked presenting it, yesterday's and today's, today's more than yesterday. heh heh. ok niwaez i gtg liaoz. lessons...........

LATER--

oh well niwaez i'm backk... got into RJ, that's good news.. mom and dad are real relieved, as is aunt karfoon, who got so mad because i didn't tell her my exam timetable and they didn't even know about it to pray for me... she's so worried lahz!! hahahah... it's a yellow brick road already paved and ready for me to follow... even though my name's not dorothy... eh, dots?

niwaez, just wanted to leave the quote of the day... some background info, we were talking about achilles and patroclus *cough* relationship. yupz. and then... ms ng started explaining homosexuality in those days... she was saying that boys were sent to schools where there were only men and no women... and all their mentors were all men... so.... and then at the schools, she was telling us, they learnt to do stuff like run, hunt, how to shoot with a bow and arrow, how to use a sword to fight, how to ride horses... and here comes the quote, not by her lahz...::

more than one kind of riding.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 03:18 p.m.:.
...
.:Wednesday, October 19, 2005:.
really should be sleeping but see i'm such a nice person. ^_^
 well quite a number of things happened today.. heh.. i shall start from the start... that sounds a bit out, but you have to forgive me, i'm really really very tired today...

first thing in the morning was... chinese i think. chinese lessons come and go like the wind, i don't know i think prelims has boosted everyone's confidence of at least passing o's, and i sure hope that that hope is not misplaced. because i'm praying that i won't have to take chinese anymore. test me on manga terms whatever, but please please, no s'pore system chinese tests for me. i can't take it liaoz.

so. math test. i'm really just taking math H1 lorz. please don't try to convince me otherwise, you'll just be the death of me, literally, because i think you'll actually get to see me commit suicide if i actually take H2 math. i don't really... i realise that i really haven't discussed my options with my parents yet. haiz. owell. maybe tomorrow night.

how time flies. really. whenever i'm at home. it just seems to disappear.

xiang's gotten me hooked onto Rising Sun. haiz. xiang arh... she + char dragged me to Park Mall's Fish&Co.. heh.. super funny, first the waitress brought a wrong order.. she gave xiang a fish and chips instead of the sweet and sour fish whatever lahz. then when we all finally got our food and started eating, suddenly one of the girls came and was like, "yes, can i help you?" and we were like... staring at her and didn't say anything coz our mouths were busy eating. damn funny. and then the first waitress came and put another basket of fries on our table when we were already thinking that we're never going to survive this meal............

okok i gotta make this fast, i'm really damn shagged. the fact that i'm using that word is proof of how tired i am because i NEVER use that word.

what else. blehz. yeah. rushed back to prepare for the Lit presentation for the lit option The Woman's Voice, this feminist thingum... ermz... a group of four, me + juliet + meiting + michelle [lee]... [three prefects, i know!!! i can't believe it either... i actually managed to NOT GET BOOKED IN THE PRESENCE OF A PREFECT!!!] heh heh heh.. they're cool people. ^_^

yeah so juliet + meiting did the script i think.. while michelle and i worked on the "handouts". hahaha. 25 postcards? more than enough. *looks at the full shelf of unused and not-gonna-be-used-in-the-near-future postcards...* yeahh...

SO.... last night, [LATE], meiting msged to say that they have happily concluded that i would be the best to act erinbrokovich, which is like... THE MAIN!!!!

yeah, i know. totally o_O. asked me to bring tank top and skirt and heels. i'm like... i don't have these things girl, how!!! tank top i have, but skirt and heels.... NO!! and she was like, what darling you no skirt?!?!?! hahahaa

but well, the presentation seemed to have gone ok.... considering the comments... :S i really hope i didn't screw up too badly, fumbled on my lines a few times, WHILE HOLDING THE SCRIPT. but considering we only went through it like, TWICE, and only saw the script today, i think we did brilliant. ^_^

ended up wearing pumps borrowed from PB. and it's like..... charlene said i walked like an elephant lahz. i already warned them!! that i didn't know how to walk with heels!!! and now xiang + charlene have gotten it in their heads to give me a crash course on wearing heels... thanks manz... *rolls eyes* eheh.

what else. gotta hurry this. ermz yeahh... i wish i knew what to choose for options. haiz.

and oh, on the way back, i fell asleep on the bus and missed the stop. so i could've gotten off at the one right after that right? but the stupid driver for some reason didn't hear the bell. and even though this other woman was like calling for him to open the door, he still happily continued driving.. until i had to cross the bridge lahz. dumbass.

yeahh yeahh. blah. nothing else. at least not that i can remember. oh, maybe tell you about another stupid driver that i encountered today.

on the way to school, coz we take hired taxi what... yeahh... then was just driving on the highway, and then this, dunno tourbus or schoolbus, suddenly swerved to its left, straight into our lane, in front of us, and our driver had to jam break lahz. like wth right.

then our taxi moved to the right, to overtake or sth. and then, i DON'T KNOW what that stupid b is trying to do, but he swerved RIGHT this time, straight into our path again, and had to jam break AGAIN. like, WTH!!! dunno what he's doing lorz. and i was quite pissed as well, coz our taxi's horn wasn't working, even though the driver was hitting it like crazy. not a beep lahz!! and then when we were near SJI, he tried the horn again... and it worked. what the shit can.

realised that i haven't been saying hello to my fellow pig caleb for a long time. *waves* im sorry.

aiyah. parents home liaoz. wanted to change all passwords of all my various accounts, but, owell.. that will have to wait, i see... all my loves, muaxmuax

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:22 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, October 18, 2005:.
=D
 i ponned school legally yesterday. ^_^ in Bio options now.. super boring, two hours today, yesterday was three... and still have two hours of SS, yesterday... that's why i ponned.

but it was legal!! ^_^ as in, with permission. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ya. SORE THROAT!!!! char's scaring me by saying that it's mumps. what are the symptoms for mumps? i've never gotten it before, so i guess it is possible......... o_O. oops.

math test tomorrow. blehblehbleh.im very very unsure for vectors...

and i feel damn dumb lahz. charlene's like watching ever single thing i type right now. -.- this is very very dumb.

ok. now we have to go and discuss and see what stupid bio theory we have to work on. wth??

booboomoohoO! aunt edna's birthday today, and poh yuan's. yesterday was nick chua's. see i remember!!! whooo!!!! even the people who didn't remember minee!!! shame on yoU!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:45 a.m.:.
...
.:Friday, October 14, 2005:.
why does friday have to end so sadly?
 martin came back from obs today. i walked in and he was sitting on the couch. boy, just realised that it sounds like he's my boyfriend or something. well. he's my brother.

the brother that i would hate.

Stricken, I covered my face with my hands, so that I couldn’t see Keary waving at us through the camera, and thought. And finally it came to me, and I knew what I must do...

what the shit.

alone again-----

naturally.

honestly... no one ever seems to be there for me. there are plenty of people who i would talk to, who would want me to talk to them.. but how exactly would they understand the feeling? they probably won't, they probably will just think i'm being just a teenager, i'm being oversensitive, i'm being WHATEVER.

it may be all of those things, but, like i said before of pms---that doesn't make this hurt any less real.

i dont' know why all fridays have to end like this. can someone tell me? because i don't want to care anymore.

you just won't understand. you will never be able to understand.

this feeling of being alone.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:18 p.m.:.
...
.:Thursday, October 13, 2005:.
a series of unfortunate events
 alot of funny things happened today. i don't know whether i can remember them all, and they'll be all over the place...

me: *starts making funny sounds at the back of my throat*
mom: *looks startled* bone arh? [note: we were eating fish for dinner]
me: *continues making the sound* dunno. sth at the back of my throat.
mom: you want to eat some rice?
me: *nods and follows her into the kitchen*
mom: get a clean spoon... *scoops up a spoonful of rice from the cooker*
*shoves it into my mouth*
me: *muffled* wahh, so much???

mr chang: well, so for this day [points at post-exam schedule] we'll move all the options up to 9 from 11.
rachel: *thinking to herself* so that we can sleep more heyy...
mr chang: do you know why?
rachel: *murmuring* so we can sleep in....
mr chang: it involves you.
rachel: *murmurmurmur* so we can--
mr chang: because.... before that you will be checking your math paper.
rachel: ACKKK!!

seemingly the whole batch heard lahz. wenxin and gina ng and olives [who were all sitting around me] were like patting [or rather, whacking] my back.. "CHILL MAN!! ARE YOU OK!!!! CHILL!!!!!"

wenxin: wahh rachel, everyone's like looking looking to see who's the person who made the sound lehz. you famous already lorz.

and then in the toilet after that...
rachel: *washes hands after coming out of the cubicle* *adjusts hairband*...
sophie: heyy... you're the one right... who made the sound just now...
rachel: =S was it that loud...
sophie: well, if you hadn't been covering your mouth we wouldn't have known...

well just met up with chunny for some exchanged of writings, words and drawings.. yupz... AHAA!! i kept her there for 45 minutes... cool eh. ^_^ ok, set girl, let's go out sometime during the holidays.. the last time i remember going out with you was like.. when??? four years ago?? heh. the rollerblading.. that was damn funny lahz. especially when we went down the stupid slope. XP

oh well. see you pple arnd!! ^_^ im getting quite sleepy liaoz.. heh..

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:01 p.m.:.
...
.:Tuesday, October 11, 2005:.
T.T
 this debate on me being seme/uke/senpai is SO not taking place. *glares at vic + elisa + chunny* *glares an extra time at chunny*

well niwaez, people, i don't feel like blogging today, but fortunately for you, i don't feel like leaving you all with nothing to read either.... THEREFORE!!! ^_^ i'm gonna post part of a story online. ^_^ feedback kiez!! constructive feedback!! which means you're free to make criticisms... just try not to make it sound too harsh *winces*

-------------------


Cardin

Keary screamed, and this time he didn’t bother hiding his fear. Every syllable rang with it. “ ‘God! Dammit! You shit! Don’t touch me! Stinking---Aahh!!’ ” he screamed again.

I choked. Please… hell, no… gods, please, no… I realized Neiji was tugging at me, trying to cover my ears, and pleading with me to go another room by turn, but I couldn’t move. Something about hearing your paramour being raped paralyses you. I couldn’t move, only listen in horrid fascination as moments between Keary and I flashed in my mind. I turned and saw the two girls covering their ears, huddling together, a very pale Shun trying to comfort them. I began to feel light-headed, like I might faint any moment.

And then there was the sound of a door swinging open, and someone with a gruff voice stepped in.

“ ‘Oi, Mikage, where’s---WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?!?!?!’ ”

It was the most blessed voice I’d ever heard.

“ ‘I, er… interrogating…’ ”

“ ‘Interrogating my foot. This is at the very least outrage of modesty. Gods, what do you think you’re doing? Release him! Up, boy, up on your feet… zip your pants, Mikage, damn you… what on earth do you think you’re doing? Are you hurt, boy?’ ”

“ ‘Not much, sir.’ ” I had never heard Keary so respectful, so shaken before.

“ ‘You’re bleeding.’ ”

“ ‘He bit me, sir.’ ”

“ ‘You disgust me, Mikage.’ ” the man sighed. “ ‘I’ll deal with you later. Come with me, boy.’ ”

There ARE such things as guardian angels, I thought.

The man asked him questions, what he was doing here, and Keary told him all that had happened in the room.

“ ‘Well, I’m sorry that my people would do something like that… but why you’re in here really is your own fault… lemme have those cuffs… here, this is your cell. E124. And I’ll be taking that.’ ”

Something rubbed against the mic, and then there was nothing but static.

I turned. “Mikan, Miyu, try their videos.”

“A step ahead of you.” Mikan leaned away to let me see the screen.

The camera was looking down on the whole room from a corner. And there he was, sitting on the bed, looking out through the wall made of bars at the police strolling past.

He yawned.

“Still feeling bored.” We all laughed, feeling strangely calm after what we had almost witnessed a moment ago.

He lay down on the bed, twisted around, trying to get comfortable. Obviously, he didn’t quite succeed, because he got up and started prowling around the cell instead. He leaned against walls, put his ear against them and tapped. Then he noticed the camera, took a step towards it and gave it the middle finger.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

He started to walk away, hand ruffling the back of his hair, then he stopped, and turned. Stared hard at the camera again.

“He knows we’re here,” Mikan muttered.

He stood right under the camera, and we could see the blood that ran down his neck and soaked into his black shirt. He looked suspiciously up at the small machine, then broke into a brilliant white smile. His mouth opened—he was laughing.

I smiled. “Yes, he knows.” Keary… my angel… I touched the screen, loving him so much. “Let’s go.” I turned.

“Go where?” they were confused.

“What do you mean go where? Go get Keary.” Now I was confused too.

Neiji and Kumiko exchanged that glance again. “Cardin,” Neiji said, trying to be gentle. “Keary wouldn’t want us going back. He got them on the wrong trail so that we could make a run for it.”

“But—“

“He’s been caught.” Miyu could have been telling the time. .

“So what?” I asked.

“It means he’s weak, Cardin. A burden to the gang.” Shun stepped in front of me. “If it had been any one of us, he would do the same thing. In fact, he’s done it before.”

I took a step back. “You guys,” I said, suddenly feeling weak. “What’re you saying?”

“That Keary is now the past. He hasn’t proven himself able enough, strong enough to be out leader. If he gets caught again, it might mean that they get the rest of us too.” Mikan explained.

“You’re the one in command now,” Kumiko said, expressionless as usual.

What was the matter with them? Their eyes had gone secretive and sort of hollow. I understood what they were saying, truly I did, but I didn’t think that they were right, or that this was really happening. They were a gang! Weren’t they supposed to stay together? Save each other? Protect each other?

Things have changed so much since you appeared… that was what Neiji had said to me just before we saw what had happened. What exactly had changed? I didn’t know. But this didn’t seem to be one of the things I had changed. Maybe I could never change it.

A hand touched my shoulder. It was Miyu.

“Don’t worry about him, Cardin. Keary doesn’t need worrying. He’s the toughest of us all.”

I blinked, thinking that I hard heard wrongly. Lapses of Miyu’s ego was… well… unheard of.

“He’ll be fine,” Shun nodded, gloved hands stuffed in his pockets. “Just look at him.”

“He’s been through lots of stuff. Life’s a gamble, and he’s managed to win every bet it’s thrown at him so far,” Neiji agreed, and Mikan nodded.

“Keary will pull through this,” Kumiko murmured. I turned to meet the gaze of her depthless pools of black. “He will be strong. FOR YOU.”

For me. He had taken on that last guy for me. That’s why he was where he was now. Because of me. Stricken, I covered my face with my hands, so that I couldn’t see Keary waving at us through the camera, and thought. And finally it came to me, and I knew what I must do.

Taking my hands from my face, I stood. My thoughts were clear now. I was Firechild, and now that Steel was gone, I was the next in command. I had to do what was best for the gang.

“Mikan. Book tickets for all of us back to Tokyo.”

---------------


yupz that's it!! ermz.. this is much older piece of work, so... i realised that some of it sounds rather.... bleh. oh well. happy reading... constructive criticism!!! ^_^ see ya pple arnd.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:58 p.m.:.
...
.:Sunday, October 9, 2005:.