*krayle--hello there, the angel from my nightmare..

.:Tuesday, May 8, 2007:.

i hate my computer keyboard so.
bothersome, the comp's not free so i'm blogging on paper first.

my dad just said that my handwriting's illegible. Wth? i've never gotten that from anyone before. only when i write in my couldn't-care-less cursive.

shinshi doumei cross book 6 chuangyi version is OUT!! =D

sigh. all these things about going overseas to study. i'm really very frustrated that my parents are not even willing to allow me to think about considering going overseas.

well anyhow. it seems that things are crumbling between a certain friend and myself. female, for those of you who were interested in my friend's gender. haha. seems like we became friends only on for his sake, a friend that we were both very close to. i say were. and so it's the ide of his friends being our friends too. in a sense, he was out common interest. topic. whatever.

but now that he's become bleh-ish like the rest of the world this year and distanced himself from the both of us, it seems that the bond that linked me and her together is fragmenting too.

sad eh? well. i can feel it.

anyway, during TSD, my group managed to settle the first part for the demons in act2! :) very happy! it's quite amazing, or at least that's what people watching commented. i wish i could see it for myself.

surrender, surrender
You whisper gently
You say i will be free
i know but can't You see
my dreams are me
my dreams are me
can't wait to move.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 09:40 p.m.:.
...

.:Monday, May 7, 2007:.

Perfect Peace.
There was a moment in time today when I walked out of the toilet after GP lesson, heading for the seminar rooms

and things were just

utterly

peaceful.

The air wasn't too still; there was a gentle wind blowing in from the opening to the fourth floor.

It wasn't too silent; there was someone playing on the piano in the concourse downstairs.

There was no one around to make me feel obliged to speak.

No pain, whatsoever, not physically, or mentally, or emotionally, or spiritually.

Just

peace.

Just

free.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 10:36 p.m.:.
...

.:Sunday, May 6, 2007:.

i feel like a total pro now
because I just managed to get my hands on the Snow Patrol song that was featured in S3. *grins*

Anyway!! Two and a half hours of math tuition is NO JOKE man!! even though I was mostly sitting there stoning. But hey I did the questions that she gave me to do as best I could. I'm losing touch of my probability! Grahh!! Owells. Will catch up. That's the only math topic I like la.

Oh man why's the weather so hot nowadays. I'm like sweating now. Gahh. Hate being sticky. Hate it hate it hate it. Grrr...

After math tuition went down to Holland Village and had Subway lunch with shirley + paul + david pflug + cassandra + grace leong + ben low. ^_^ We decided to drop a visit on Haagen Dazs and then went down to church for main service.

Main service was quite ok today! I liked most of the songs that Uncle William chose. Coz they were familiar. All from this album that we used to play in the house lots, when we were all still really tiny kids. The house always had music, before. And the house was so much emptier and more spacious than it is now, all cram with furniture and hardly any space to move and live. Sigh. I'm a suckler for old furniture. I cling on to the familiar. So I wish my parents would throw all the newer furniture out.

Ok sorry looks like updating the Ipod library will take awhile.

OK! Am done. It always takes me forever to get everything editted and uniform and settled. I can be so OCD with certain things.

Well well.

You know I'm having problems smiling and laughing naturally now. It's not like I don't want to, but it just doesn't come out right. I think it's rusty. Out of practice. Shall practice it more. Sigh. Not good to have rusty smiles.

Another thing. The other day ... No, wait, I think it was just yesterday. Yeah. On the way to Bukit Timah. On the bus there was this couple like standing really close. They weren't kissing, at least. The girl had nice long hair. That's why I was looking. I think. Because after a bit my thought process changed to before when we were on a bus, standing at the same area on the bus, and I was like trying to persuade Wing to sing Forever Love for me. And finally he did..

Ah ok wrong move, that memory's a bit too precious to share.

Hrm. I'm not very sure what else I had to say. But have a blessed week ahead everyone!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:17 p.m.:.
...

.:Saturday, May 5, 2007:.

'Another story, somebody! One to make us forget.'
She looked at Bronia. The child was asleep, her head in Ruth's lap, a smile on her face. Was she dreaming about the fairy-story that Ruth had been telling her, the one about the princess of the Brazen Mountains? Perhaps in her dream Bronia was the Princess, flying through the sky on her grey-blue wings. Then the Prince, who had searched for her seven long years, would be flying beside her, leading her to his mountain kingdom where they would live happily ever after. Fairy-stories always ended like that, and Ruth was happy to think that Bronia was still young enough to believe that it was the same in real life.
-THE SILVER SWORD by Ian Serraillier

Just came back from playing pool at Bukit Timah. Was with Ben, Paul, Gerald, Martin. I generally AM rather more comfortable with my church guys than my church girls. And it's been this way already for some time.

On Friday! I received a letter-reply from my j1 mortal!! *is super happy!!!! =DDDDDD* When I was writing the letter I was already having mental preparations for a no reply. Bleh. But he did!!! So I'm quite happy now. =DDDDDDD

I'm reverting back to comfort food for today: CANDY. It's not good for my teeth, I know, but I feel that I deserve the indulgence. And besides, restraining would only frustrate me more.

OH! YES! Went to watch Midsummers last night at Fort Canning with Shirley!!! They used the ENTIRE hill space for the performance, can you imagine?? They were like running up and down the ramps, and the hill isn't say THAT gradual. The costumes were quite good~ The acting was professional. [The lady playing Helena is so brave! And the guy playing Bottom!]The set was quite cool. [I like the part where Hermia and Helena were arguing, and they ran aside to some small playground at the side while the two men pulled out camping chairs and a bag of chips and watched them like a movie xD] My complaints are:

1. I didn't like the modern context of some of their costumes. Yah. But the teddybear worked.
2. It was rather too serious at parts for me! Especially the Oberon-Titania parts. This is supposed to be a comedy! COM-E-DY!!!
3. I didn't like the video thingys they were playing on the rotating box in front. Unnecessary. And spoils the general aesthetic.

Naturally, I was comparing this alot with the production that we caught in UK, the one by The Lord Chamberlain's Men, this troupe of six men. And the stage they used was tinytinytiny!!! Their Puck was cute-looking.. Lol! xD And with only the six of them playing ALL the characters. So you have the multi-roling, as well as the travesty acting. They actually looked quite good in the dresses! Especially the actor playing Titania. Blues and purples, and very regal~ Hermia was a roar. Acorn?!?! *LHO!*

Hrm. I don't quite know what else to write. The comp is laggy coz of the virus scan bleh.

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 08:03 p.m.:.
...

.:Thursday, May 3, 2007:.

music: Surrender by Barlow Girl
It's been quite a good day! Last night's Beckett stuff was cool man~ Despite the three idiots sitting behind me who just COULD NOT shut up! So dumb! What the hell!! Like they'd whisper in the middle of the play, they'd try to be smart, they'd complain that they didn't understand. The best part was just before the last play started, one of the girls got a video call in or sth. Or maybe it was just a call on speaker. Whatever it is it was super loud. My gosh. Imbeciles!

Spent awhile after school frantically looking through my phone's contact list, looking for someone who would be free and willing to go watch Midsummer's with me. Just got my ticket today and I realised that I was really gonna be sitting on that hill of grass amongst other chattering groups of people utterly ALONE. Physically, of course. So yeah, was looking around for people to go with me. Was about to call home and ask my mom whether she was free, but then Shirley replied, so yup. ^_^ Nevermind! I shall go watch S3 with my mom instead! Like maybe sometime next week after school... yeah... yeah! That'd be cool.

Did I mention, that other than school life and church life, home life hasn't been that great either. I say very un-angstily. But it's the truth. After the domestic help went back to Philippines, we've been trying out doing without one, and basically that means eating out alot, and Mom having to scream at us to get house chores done. This really isn't a good year to be doing this to me, because even though last year I was still quite terribly free, this year's different. ESPECIALLY when TSD practicals are not over yet. And everyone who knows theatre knows theatre takes up alot of time and energy and bla. So. Sorry Mom.

Another realisation: Forcing myself to be cheerful really isn't that hard... considering I'm well-enough rested. THEREFORE! I have yet another resolution!! That I shall try my best to sleep at 10pm EVERY NIGHT!!! That would give me... *counts* 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... about seven hours of sleep!! Plus everyone knows that the optimum regeneration of cells time is 10-12. SO! 10pm. Hwahwahwa!!

This is a random post. Hrm. I should upload pictures, shouldn't I! Hrm... *looks around*... Didn't take any today though... Hrm...

Another realisatioN!! Whoo all the breakthroughs. Haha. MY HAIR SUCKS!!! I should go for a haircut!! but I don't know what to cut to and the fringe had better not get shorter because I need it to be longer so that I can make sure it stays out of my eyes better!!!

Did that there just make sense? Or did it not. o_O

So yes, as I was saying, I feel alot better after that catnap in bishan library even though librarians are such b**************** sometimes! whoo alot of stars. Well. Plenty of space for you to imagine your own word in there.

Ponning things is such an addictive thing. I predict that this is going to be my next vice. Hrm.

I'm just thinking now that Choonwing's hair looked alot better last year. HAHAAA omg. I hope people don't take that wrongly. Not sour grapes yeah.

I'm also thinking that he's got really nice hands.

I'm ALSO thinking that Reuben has really nice hands too.

Actually, alot of my guy friends have really nice hands.

And now I'm looking at my own [UGLY] hands and thinking... DAMN. Not fair. Is this like, punishment for not having to do pushups for two years like they need to or sth? I think I'd rather do pushups... THINK only. Not 100% sure. =D

I'm fungry man, fungry!!

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 06:13 p.m.:.
...

.:Thursday, May 3, 2007:.

music: Surrender by Barlow Girl

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 06:13 p.m.:.
...

.:Wednesday, May 2, 2007:.

can i have a bravo sticker if i'm good?
It's time to really BUCK UP, pick myself OFF the floor, and shove on ahead. Physically I might be alone. I'll accept it in time. Spiritually, at least, I know I never will be. So poopoo on atheists. There's nothing my God cannot do!

I can't say things are going very well right now. But I shall refrain from saying what I've always been saying. Save me, Jesus. I need You to save me from all this.

I can do this. I can do this. Through Him who gives me strength. I can do this. I WILL do this!

Tsuyoku.. Tsuyoku...

Mou ichido
Tsuyoku dakishimete... ... ...

The angst ends here. < /angst >

.:-krayle*- hugged all her loves at 11:45 p.m.:.
...